Well, just so you know.. these truths you speak of USED to be iron-clad at my house too.. but as they grow, the truths will change.. guarenteed!! So now, my truths are like this: As soon as I walk in the house, the girls will start fighting. They can go all day long.. with the older babysitting the younger, getting along beautifully, but something about my appearance turns them into absolute beasts!! I do not understand this phenomenon at all. Nothing in my extensive career of raising children explains it. But, at least I can count on it! :)

If I take extra time to make sure the house is sparking clean for the start of the week on Monday... the kids will take extra care to really ruin it totally by monday night. How they do this when they're in school most of the day, I have no idea, but it's a very well planned operation, and they are serious about completing this duty.

And last but certainly not least, if I wear a white shirt to work, I will.. without fail... spill something dark and stainy on it on the way to work. Why I even drink in the car is beyond me. I guess I'm eternally hopeful? That I won't be a slob? It's never going to happen.

There's many more.. my world is full of them. Thanks for sharing yours.. it makes it better somehow!!

Oh Estee..you are amazing...I do not know how you keep finding these things to write about!!! and you do it sooooo well!!!!
This was a fun read, thank you!!
I can't think of any of my own, I'm sure there are some but can't think of them know if I do I'll be back, but I cracked up on the first one because that sounds just like my grandson except he is three! So don't feel bad, someone else out there is dealing with the same thing you are!!!!! Have a good one girl!!

LOL...too funny about Maddux. Maybe he wants to wear his socks on his hands. You know...like mittens:) hee hee

Things DO change as your kids get older, but my daughter holds true to one. The second we get in the car and leave the house she absolutely needs to go to the bathroom...and BAD:( We JUST left the house. And it doesn't matter if I asked her to go before we left. She didn't have to go THEN.

The other tried and true...I'm SO hungry. Even if we just ate at home, the minute we are on the road the hunger sets in. It really helps to have snacks on hand:)

And of course there is the "everyone starts acting up the minute Dad walks in the house". In our house, dad is the "fun" guy. The guy who's not home all day and let's you do whatever you want. So things could be nice and calm and quiet, but the minute he walks in everyone gets really loud and there is alot of jumping involved:(

#2 on your list is one I can always count on! I can add that anytime I am totally gross from yard work, as in sweating (not perspiring) and hair in total disarray, the minister or a friend who hasn't been in town in months will certainly come by.

Another irrevocable truth for me occurs when I am late for an appointment. Inevitably, I will get behind someone who I cannot pass and from their traveling speed they obviously have no where to go and all day to get there!

Enjoy your "takes" so much! Always a bright, fun way to start MONDAY!

I don't have those same truths. Mine go like this:

1. If I'm on the phone for any reason, not only is it the one time my DD wants/needs my attention, but it's the only time my DH decides he wants to spend time with me as well. If it's an important call, then that's when he decides he wants to get affectionate.

2. As soon as I sit down or make myself comfortable, someone will need something. Usually it's my DD timing her requests for things she cannot reach or carry (like the gallon of milk), but DH also suffers from this problem. I'll be in my room, comfortably up to my elbows in paper and adhesive and hear (from across the house) "Honeeeeeeeeeey! Where's the {insert anything here}" or my favorite "Have you seen my {blank}" and as soon as I get up, he finds it or she doesn't need it. So I sit down again only to have another set of questions screamed to me from across our little condominium. My favorite is when DD is eating in the same room as DH and gets up and leaves the room in search of me. She's not looking for me because she misses me, she wants me to get up from my nap or my shower or whatever else I'm doing to get her seconds or another glass of milk. And then gets a little miffed when I saw "go ask your father, he's sitting right next to you."

3. Something always happens when I go away. I went to a CM consultant regional convention one year, DD was sent home with lice. I went to the National convention, our neighbor decided to be a jerk and take DH to court based on a lie. Last time I went away, DH's license was revoked because of a speeding ticket/our old insurance company forgot to submit certain paperwork to the state combination. I'm already not looking forward to going back to the national con this summer; I'm contemplating asking my shrink for extra meds.

4. If I need it, I can not find it until after the deadline has passed.

The truths in my house:

1.) If you are running low on baby wipes, not one but BOTH toddlers will have explosive diapers.

2.) If my behind touches my scrapbook chair, all 4 of the other members of my household will need something. It doesn't matter that I just asked them all before I sat down if they needed anything and they all said NO. Now they must have their bottle, diaper change, bedtime story, etc.

3.) NOTHING is ever where I left it. There must be little magic people that come in and move everything from where I put it over night, because the next morning things are missing and none of my children touched any of it.

4.) If there's a special occasion... it must have a coordinating emergency. Alexis' birthday cake getting smushed. Brandon's concussion on his birthday. The ear infections of the century for all three kids in Disney World. Yep. If it can go wrong, it will! And quickly.

5. If I say something I absolutely do not want repeated (say about an interfering mother-in-law) despite the fact that I carefully looked around to make sure my eavesdropping sweetheart of a 6 year old was no where in sight. The next time my mother-in-law visits... above said 6 year old will pipe up and say EXACTLY word for word what I said. It's a miracle considering that she never remembers the stuff I say otherwise, like don't leave your dirty socks where your brother can get them and chew on them. You know... important things like that! LOL

Those are my irrevocable truths, and I share many of yours as well. I stepped on a half of a plasic Easter egg the other night and about woke up the house. LOL

OMG..these are so funny! And alot of yours apply at our house too. Thank God my kids are not the only ones doing it...I always wondered...LOL
The phone thing is a GIVEN! NEVER fails the minute the phone hits my ear, it's every kid for himself here! LOL And of course, Mikey has to tell me all sorts of important things REALLY loudly like that Backyardigans is on or that there's a bird on our fence..all sorts of life or death things like that.
Oh and the whining thing...I think Maddux and Mikey are related. Mikey has been that way since he was just a baby. NOT an easy child. He has to complain about everything under the sun! You can't touch this kid for anything....hates for you to brush his teeth which is always such fun for me to do, hates having his hair washed, his face washed, his clothes changed....this kid doesn't like touching. Unless of course, I'm in the middle of something that has my complete attention and then he NEEDS to shower with me a million kisses and hugs and won't get off my lap!
And that thing my sis said about when dad gets home...well, for us it's not when dad comes home, but when any "visitor" comes over. I think the kids think there are some ppl that Mom won't yell or spank them in front of....WRONG! LOL
There's another that doesn't apply to the kids, but to Miguel....NEVER fails that when I clean our bathroom, he decides to shave, trim his goatee, ect and leaves his hair all over the sink!! UGH...TOTALLY bugs me!!!

Oh, how could I forget a very important one?! NEVER fails that when I go into the bathroom and err..."sit down", Mikey starts doing all sorts of things he's not supposed to. I guess he thinks I'm not going to get up and come after him...LOL Oh, I beg to differ! LOL Oh, this also happens when I'm naked and in the shower!! What fun, huh? LOL

I have for the most part a very pleasant amnesia about such days from my distant past. :biggrin:

Thank you for sharing these. lol And what's up with UPS hiring only good looking guys. Do our husbands know about this conspiracy? Hope not. :D

Morning Estee!

I so hear you on the phone one, but please add and/or parent going to bathroom onto that. My children can go hours without needing me, but the moment I need to use the bathroom, a major crisis happens(and when I say crisis it is usually something like the color crayon *needs* to be peeled so someone can color)happens and it *needs* to be fixed, helped, solved, assisted, etc. RIGHT NOW or ELSE!

One of my favorite irrevocable truths: You can put the time, enegy, money into creating a wonderful meal and you are so excited to serve it and lo and behold...someone doesn't like something in the recipe, they think it smells funny, they are allergic to one of the ingredients, or they just plain aren't going to try it. Yet, I could open a can of soup, and I am like Emmeril re-born. So frustrating to me!

I can certainly relate to your first truth-ism! Something about being two; you never know what they want and you go crazy trying to figure it out. The bathroom comments are hilarious! It drives me crazy - "a little privacy please!" My little ones also love to compete for my attention when I'm trying to watch Corrie (aka. Coronation Street, my daily vice). Gotta love 'em…

Hey funny lady who brings me joy and laughter every week!! You are too funny on this one and it is SO TRUE!!! My Mom called these incidents, The True Growing Pains within a Family... which as you can see happen to all of us! Hehehehe... I earned the right to laugh, wear my cap and gown and throw the tassel thingy to the other side. Only the Dean from MOM University never showed to give me my PHD in Child Psycology.
My first 3 children are grown, 19 Miss Elizabeth, 21 (today)Matthew and 22 1/2 Andrew. Andrew and Matthew are out on their own, putting up with their own irrevocable truths, Miss Liz is living with us, Bill (DH) and Hannah (DD) who is 9 and Mom.
Now let me say first and foremost, I love my girls!!! Really. I enjoy their company and funny little attributes which each contributes. At times though when they are in kahoots as I call it, they can drive any sane person crazy.

1)Sibling Rivalry.... You would think with a 10 year span between the two they would get along. Think again. I took both of them with me food shopping once. I'm standing at the deli, ordering cold cuts and potato salad. I'm probably the fifth in line. My cart is parked near all the fruit and vegetable bins. The girls are standing guard for my pocketbook is sitting up front where in days past a small child once sat. I'm waiting patiently for my turn. Of course there's about 10 other people standing around as well. As I'm looking above to the over head, hand written, doodled Specials Board of all the deals of the day I hear from the rear, stop it!, No, you stop it! Put that back! No you can't have that. Yes I can! No, you can't. Leave me alone! You're such a brat! Then, I hear....tumbling...things are falling.... #98! Can I help who has #98! Yes! That's me! I'll have a pound of ....and a 2 lb container of.... In back of me the conversation continues....Now look what you've done! I didn't do anything, YOU pushed me! No I DID NOT! Pick them up! No, you pick them up.... agghhhh!!!!!!
As I slightly turn to my left and then to me right, don't dare to look behind me or even acknowledge my darling children, I notice that everybody is staring at MY CHILDREN!!! These two girls are soo absorbed in thier own little tiff, they don't even realize what an spectacle they've become....

Oh Estee....got to go...DD is home from school and requesting to use the computer! Something about homework! (another irrevocable truth) She needs to USE IT NOW!! I'll be back to finish up....till then, stop laughing at me! I know it's a leadership problem he he he... (as a friend of mine use to say)... He was a Naval Commander... now retired... I finish later...

Now I'm back...
They don't even realize the spectacle they've become, dont realize their MOUTHS are flapping and the volume is increasing. One is 19 years old for heavens sake! The other the smallest of 6 children who has had every whim of hers answered by five other siblings, either to shut her up or to actually comfort and nuture her through the younger years of her life. I'm totally beside myself, extemely embarassed and not quite willing to let all the other people know I'm THEIR mother. I turn around, there are potatoes and onions all over the floor. I give my quick wild eyed "I"M GOING TO KILL YOU" look and take my roastbeef and potato salad and start walking away....quickly.... Elizabeth knows...she knows, she has just gotten the look, the look that means she is in DEEP DOODOO. I walk away leaving my children to fit for themselves. As I leave I here Liz say to Hannah, pick them up now, she'll leave ya here, and she'll leave me here with you!!! About five minutes later, they caught up with me in the freezer section. I'm looking at ice cream, the ice cream is on sale. The girls walk up, Liz a little more cautious than her younger sister. Hannah just doesn't get what just transpired. They see ice cream on sale and immediately they start stating which two flavors they want to get. They know I buy two when it is on sale. Elizabeth asks, What kind are you getting? I said, NOT TODAY, not this week either. You're out of Luck! I don't reward bad behavior. Hannah states, Great, Thanks Liz, Mom why did we have to bring her? I crouch, get eye level with my nine year old and said, Enough! Both of you are to blame. I don't want to hear one more word out of either one of you. Not now , not on the way home. When we get home, both of you are to bring in the groceries and put them away without one word spoken between you. If I hear ANY BICKERING at all Hannah it will cost you your allowance and Elizabeth it will cost you a night of babysitting for FREE!
Miracles do happen, quietest ride home I've had in a long time. Groceries were brought in, and actually put in their respectable places.
In truth I hate it when they are in Kahoots...I feel bad, they feel bad and it just dims the day. I really feel that they know this because they don't tend to argue in front of me anymore. I won't go as far as to say lesson learned....

2) When the phone rings in my house it is Hannah who HAS TO KNOW IMMEDIATELY who I'm talking to...Repeatedly she'll ask, Who is it? As I flail my arms in the mother's best "get out of here" move. But I want to know who it is !!! I do the best MOM turn around and walk away move....into another room. This happens every phone call. The child doesn't learn, doesn't want to. She can't miss a thing, has to know everything.

3) Hubby leaves me a present every morning. I find a pair of dirty socks and his tee-shirt either in the crook of the couch or under the coffee table. I ask him why he does this, he answers with the I don't know, only to repeat this day after day.

4) Dishes in the sink agghhhh!!!! they're not even scrapped!!! I don't have a garbage disposal!!!! Wet peanut butter is the worst smell in the world!!!
Which brings me to the unknown culprit in the house who manages to get more jelly in the peanut butter then on the sandwich....my bet is hubby dearest....his late night snack of PB&J on crackers warrant this....

5)The sliver of soap left in the shower!!!! aghhhhh!!!! Why is it always me who ends up with the sliver of soap...... you know, it's transparent, its so thin!!! The dirty towels....Hannah in a wet heap on bathroom floor. Elizabeth uses two towels, one for her hair, one for her body. One of the towels always has remnants of eyeliner and mascara blobs on it. AGGHHHH!!!

6) Even with my youngest being nine, I still live in a toy box!!! The toys are everywhere!!! They're in my livingroom, my den, the bathroom, and of course her bedroom. Constantly picking up toys, constantly calling Hannah back into the house to help pick up, that is if she ever wants to see the other nieghborhood children again.

7) Being a cold winter, and with the cost of heating, we use only the pellet stove. So I have plenty of throw blankets, at least four in the livingroom. Everyday after everyone else is out of the house, one of my rituals is to fold all of these heaped blankets into a respectable folded thing thrown onto the back of the couches.

Well that's enough said. Now you know!!! We are slobs!!! Ha ha ha.... Have a great week Estee!!! Talk again soon.... God Bless.... Jojo

Freakin' hilarious Estee!

Let's see....

1. It's guaranteed that if I am in my PJs, haven't had my shower, just sit down to have a snack in peace and my son is napping that my freakin' neighbour will knock on the door! Grrrr!!
2. It's guaranteed that if I haven's swept the floors, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed the living room and I'm still in PJs that my mother-in-law will come for a visit!!!!!!!!! Waahhhh!!
3. It's guaranteed that if I sit down to scrap and there's no one else home that the phone will ring and it will be someone I don't want to talk to!
4. It's guaranteed that if I sit down on the potty, my 2 year old will find something to get into! Typically involving something sticky!!!

Ally.

Oh baby! You picked the right day for truths. Here's mine: Just let me plan a day to get some Bev Stuff done and the XXXX hits the fan. I planned to do a little scrapping and hit the pool, be home in time for the ATT guy to come at 2 and have plenty of time to catch up on things for Bev.

Instead.... DD #3 (15) opened the front door and caught it on her foot and while looking down continued opening the door onto her head. (temple) I'm in my room and I hear the bam BAM OWWWW and tears. She shuffles into my room, I check out the spot - red, no blood - she's going to school. Pain reliever given, she's out the door. 9:00 - I get a text, my head hurts. 10:00 - text - will you come get me? I text back, I'm hoping in the shower. I hop in the shower and as I open the door - phone is ringing and it's the school nurse - DD feels sick to her stomach. I dress, slam down my meds (10 pills) and bolt out the door. I call Dad to give him a heads up. As we're leaving school, I call the Doc and they can see her right away. Meanwhile DD#2 (20) calls to say she has a problem with her mouth (major mouth surgery last May). I tell her to call the Oral Surgeon and get in. Once we are in the Doc's office I call DD#1 (24) and tell her where we are and why (she was just there last week with her new son) and the Doc walks in. Turns out DD#3 is going to live but have a pretty good headache. I call Dad again and we meet him for lunch where he informs me DD#2 saw the Oral Surgeon and they are going to reopen her incision and remove the suture/dead tissure on Monday. Of course DD#2 is totally freaked out. I call DD#1 back to fill her in and she said she had called the Doc's office and wanted to know if they had told me. Little Dominic might be constipated.

DD#3 and I make it home in time to meet the ATT guy and of course the problem we were having miraculously is GONE. He changes out some wires hoping our intermittant problem will be no more.

My truth - if it rains it pours! And by the way, today, it was raining! lol

I beleive this truth may be documented in some kind of scentific book somewhere......If I'm having one of those very, very rare, perfect hair days, I can guarantee it's raining outside!

Thanks for the grins gals - I can identify with pretty much every single one which explains why I adore TiVo (I can pause when we have boo-boos, exciting news that can't wait - that one's usually dh,or the other 757 reasons to interupt me while I'm watching a recorded show.)

And then there's my cell phone and my commute to work so I can get those conversations in that would otherwise be interrupted.

I still just have NOT figured out a cure for the bathroom "truth" - there's just no where to go when you have a grandchild layin on their belly on the other side of the door explaining life to you.

Thanks for the day brightener Estee!

1. No matter where I put the trash in the house, my hubby usually forgets about it.
2. No matter what time a day, I always get kicked off the internet
3. Not matter what day, I always can't find that one item I'm looking for to scrap with.

Estee... you are such a hoot, and what mom cannot relate to the phone thing!!

you can bet bet everyday and I mean everyday around 3:30 4:00 the most popular question in my house is "what's for dinner?", honestly I hate that question, when it is served you will know! Another one is whenever our 4 year old cries out in the middle of the night it will be a stand off of "who between the 2 of us will pretend the longest... we just don't hear him because we are asleep!" (yaeh right). And another one, no matter when my husband is sick (and he is right now) it doesn't matter how sick or what he has, his moans and groans all day long like a beached whale, as if that is the male speices "call of the sick and I want to make everyone aware, just in case you did not know".. it really gets on my nerves BIG time, I mean ok, I know you are sick, but do you have to moan and goan like that? we all really do know it, and I have found out that it really is an international sound in the sick male species! Another one is how many times do I have to wash clean clothes? My 10 year old thinks I won't notice if she just throws her folded clean clothes down the dirty bend to be washed again, because she was too lazy to put them away in the first place! I can just hang clean towels up in the shower and then the very next day go take a shower and realize that there are no clean towels in the bathroom, because they are down in onr or both teenager's rooms! There can be toothpaste all over the mirror and water on the countertop, but no one and I mean no one did it or knows how it got there! Then there is Avery, and I must say I love this; we can be out grocery shopping, or I can be on a job that he is with me on or things can just be downright hectic for me and he will always say in a very proud and sweet 4 year old voice "I love you so sooo much mommy" then flash me that smile with his head tilted just right and usually anyone within ears reach can hear him and not only does it always melt my heart, but I have had soo many people around me at that time just melt too. He seriously does this all the time, I never know when, but he does do it a lot and I must admit that it makes all my other irrevocable truths worth the while!

OMG! I have been cracking up all week after reading your truths! I have to say... WHEW! at least I am not the only one who is dealing with this kind of stuff!! Our winner this week is thecircleguru! YAY!! PM me with your address and I will get those BG rub-ons out to you. Thanks so much for the much needed laughs everyone!!