I love lists. I make lists all the time. I jot down little thoughts and lists of things that theoretically should be accomplished in the near future on the back of receipts, envelopes, pieces of junk mail and sometimes in a notebook conveniently labeled, “stuff to remember.” Brad has learned to never, ever throw away any scrap of paper until he thoroughly examines it for any kind of cryptic message. I am also training to be a super secret super spy. The fact that I can‘t keep a secret even if my very life depended on it might be hindering this career choice, but I like to keep an open mind.

“P = r sw clk = HBD” may not mean anything to anyone else, but to me it is a reminder that Paizlee is not allowed to use the red sidewalk chalk because it does not come out of her clothing when washed, which results in HBD (huge big drama). We have a lot of HBD around here. Shocking, I know.

My current in-process list is a fun list of all the things that I never thought I would hear myself say. When Brad found my list sitting on top of the washing machine, which is a very practical location for a list, he didn’t believe that I had actually said all of those crazy things. He claimed that I have a flair for the dramatic and have been known to exaggerate on occasion. I pretended to be insulted. He then turned around and said, “Paizlee, please don’t put those pancakes in your ears.” I raised my left eyebrow in a very accusing manner and he said, “Point taken.”

One of my very first Wow, did I really just say that moments came when Breuklyn was 2-years-old. Brad and I had purchased 3 ginormous watermelons and they were lined up on the floor in our kitchen. We were busy making dinner and generally not paying much attention to what Breuklyn was doing in the floor behind us. When I finally zeroed in on what was going on, I was slightly shocked to find that Breuklyn had draped the watermelons with her dress-up necklaces and was trying very hard to roll one the watermelons up onto a pair of purple high heeled princess shoes.

“Breuklyn! Watermelons do not wear high heels.”

I don’t think it is possible to say that with a straight face. Try it. I dare you.

Some other things that I never imagined myself saying:

The classic lunchtime favorite, “Hey! Please don’t stick orange jello up your nose. Just because it technically fits up there doesn’t mean that you should put it up there.”

“Maddux, I am really sorry but you can’t wear the feathered boa to the grocery store. Daddy says no,” which is very often heard at my house when it comes to getting dressed to go anywhere. This can also be applied to clip-on earrings, sparkly red tap shoes, a princess tiara or Breuklyn’s hedgehog purse.

“Breuklyn. Under no circumstances is it correct to ask someone at the grocery store why they are wearing black with navy, why they wearing socks with sandals, why they are wearing weird shoes or why they didn’t brush their hair. Let’s just smile at people instead of talking, shall we?” Breuklyn is famous for standing 2 inches away from someone completely random and asking them a question that will make my face instantly turn the shade of a tomato. Just because she read 3 pages out of a Glamour magazine once she thinks that she is some sort of mini-fashion police. Considering that her favorite outfit consists of plaid Bermuda shorts and a striped polo shirt, I don’t think she has much room to talk.

“Oh Paizlee! Don’t eat the roly poly bugs!” This is also applied to anything smaller than a breadbox.

One of these days I will resume saying normal, non-crazy things. Until then I had better keep that list handy.

That’s my take this week, what’s yours? What is the craziest things that you have ever said? You know you’ve done it, let’s hear it! I will choose one winner who will win a $20.00 gift certificate to the Scrapbook.com Superstore. I will put all of the names in a hat. You will get an extra point if you create a layout about this topic. I am working on my layout and will post it this week. Have a great week!