Terry so he just yelled at me for trying to help him and i tried the tough love approach...didn't go so well. he threatened to move out. i know it is bugging him because he seriously has never been sick a day in his life. in the 7 years i have lived with him this is the first time he has even been to a doctor. so i agree, i think he is scared and worried and especially wondering why me? I also think this is a huge blow to his ego. So many times he has chastised people for not taking care of themselves, he was also always quick to make a quip whenever i got a migraine or wasn't feeling well. and now he is the one needing care. he isn't accepting the fact that i do not react with anger towards him, but complete love and wanting to "mother" a bit. i think i may take your advice and speak with the oncologist on tuesday. i just don't want him to get depressed...he needs to fight like hell.