Page 1 of 2 
Username Post: wedding location issues        (Topic#1581317)
_pink_glitter_hearts_
Guru
Posts: 2270
Joined: 12-26-07
_pink_glitter_hearts_

hi everyone, my fiance and i are having issues with our wedding location. we have a top 3 picked, 1.disney world, 2.a beautiful outside garden, and 3.a local country club. i was discussing these options with my mother and she freaked at about the disney world option. she said it was insensitive of me to suggest it because no one on her side of the family would be able to attend. i was crushed when she said that. it's our number one pick because it was the only location that took my breath away out of the dozens we saw. even with our top 3, the garden was pretty, but an outside wedding in south fl is not the best idea (too hot or rain)...the country club was sort of "generic" and not as special since a lot of our friends had weddings/sweet sixteen/ sweet fifteens there. other than disney being a beautiful location, it's the about the same cost (if not cheaper than) the other 2 places, and i love disney! i've always loved disney since a little girl, i've worked there in the past, my fiance and i have had some romantic moments there...i mean what bride doesn't want to be a princess on her big day so, i was obviously crushed when told i was being insensitive by possibly having that as my location i looked at the wedding list on both sides, about half are flying to fl anyway...what difference if it's south or central fl they fly into? as far as the rest of the guests in south fl, i know for a fact some of them drive into orlando for theme park and non theme park reasons. my father has driven to tampa for select BASKETBALL games! aunts have driven to orlando to see friends. friends go to universal/disney on a whim. so, i really did not think it would be a big deal to have a wedding in the orlando/kissimee area. i've heard of lots of couples having a wedding at a location a few hours away. (disney is about 3-4 hous away from us.) my fiance and are are paying 100% for the wedding ourselves. is my mom right, am i being insensitive and should just stick with a local location? (sorry so long!) tia


 
GMFTS
GMFTS 
Mayor
Posts: 14072
Joined: 02-09-08
GMFTS
  • GMFTS on 10-02-12 07:25 AM
In response to _pink_glitter_hearts_

It's your wedding and your choice ultimately.

But ...maybe you need to have a sit down time with mom to try to get to why she is saying this. Does she have some unspoken reason she doesn't want it at Disney?


 
_pink_glitter_hearts_
Guru
Posts: 2270
Joined: 12-26-07
_pink_glitter_hearts_
In response to GMFTS

she wants it local, because she thinks it unfair to ask her side of the family to drive 3-4 hours for a wedding (even though half of them already go there a couple times of year to visit friends).


 
scraprabbit
Queen
Posts: 35101
Joined: 06-28-03
scraprabbit
In response to GMFTS

As I was reading, I was planning to say that it is your wedding so you should really get to pick it out, but that you should probably at least consider your mother's opinion...but then I read that YOU are paying 100% for the wedding. That changed my mind. If you are paying, then I don't think she gets a say at all. Sorry if that's insensitive. If she was paying and your location choice made it so no one on her side could come, then I think you should try to compromise with her a little. My feeling is that whoever is helping to fund it should be the only people that have a say whatsoever of how that money is spent.

Another thing to consider... Would you have hurt feelings if those relatives really were unable/unwilling to attend that far away? Or would you rather have the wedding in your favorite spot and welcome whoever could make it (and not feel bad about those who didn't want to travel that far)?


 
_pink_glitter_hearts_
Guru
Posts: 2270
Joined: 12-26-07
_pink_glitter_hearts_
In response to scraprabbit

my feelings would not be hurt if some relatives would not come due to location of the wedding on her side of the family. she does come from a large family, so even if half show up that's still a lot of people there (and to pay for since my fiance and i are fully footing the bill). news has trickled down to some of her brothers and sisters and they are not thrilled about my venue choice. i've never heard of so many people (who are not contributing a cent to the wedding nonetheless!) get so upset over a wedding location...the way they act you'd think i said i wanted to get married on top of the eiffel tower in paris! lol


 
scraprabbit
Queen
Posts: 35101
Joined: 06-28-03
scraprabbit
In response to _pink_glitter_hearts_

  • _pink_glitter_hearts_ Said:
my feelings would not be hurt if some relatives would not come due to location of the wedding on her side of the family. she does come from a large family, so even if half show up that's still a lot of people there (and to pay for since my fiance and i are fully footing the bill).



Then my opinion is to have it wherever you want.


 
Trina_P
Guru
Posts: 2509
Joined: 06-30-05
Trina_P
In response to scraprabbit

Maybe have a reception held locally after the wedding for those who are unable to attend the wedding at Disney.

Ultimately it is your wedding, your bills. Mom and every one else should be understanding to that. The ones who want to come, will.


 
GMFTS
GMFTS 
Mayor
Posts: 14072
Joined: 02-09-08
GMFTS
  • GMFTS on 10-02-12 09:06 AM
In response to _pink_glitter_hearts_

  • _pink_glitter_hearts_ Said:
my feelings would not be hurt if some relatives would not come due to location of the wedding on her side of the family. she does come from a large family, so even if half show up that's still a lot of people there (and to pay for since my fiance and i are fully footing the bill). news has trickled down to some of her brothers and sisters and they are not thrilled about my venue choice. i've never heard of so many people (who are not contributing a cent to the wedding nonetheless!) get so upset over a wedding location...the way they act you'd think i said i wanted to get married on top of the eiffel tower in paris! lol



Exactly - are they going to tell you what to wear and what to eat etc etc?
I never understand why people forget that they are invitees not the hosts.


 
lifethroughalens
Veteran
Posts: 420
Joined: 08-16-10
lifethroughalens
In response to GMFTS

You pay, you decide. I feel that way too. My husband and I footed the bill for our wedding. We agreed on a budget, did the homework together, etc. My mom was excited but insisted on inviting some members of family that did not make it on my list (it was small). I gave in, did invite them and ended up paying for those guests that didn't show and did not have the proper etiquette of letting me know they couldn't/wouldn't make it. If you let others make the decision on your most important things in life, you will always regret it and in some ways hold it against them (that includes family). Good Luck I wish you and your future husband all the best!


 
Lamoo12
Governor
Posts: 20408
Joined: 08-06-07
Lamoo12
In response to GMFTS

it's your wedding and you need to be happy with the day and all the decisions. there is always someone that doesn't like something. its unfortunate that the person for you is your mom. in the end you and your husband are the ones that need to be there and enjoy the day. i say go disney.

plus, some people won't be able to attend for various reasons anyway. why should you change your dreams for them?

my brother is getting married next year in the mountains of plattsburgh, NY. he's at least 6 hours away and the closest airport is 1+ hours away. a lot of us are making the trip because we love and support him, not because it's convenient.


 
foltzy
foltzy 
Governor
Posts: 21287
Joined: 02-17-06
foltzy
In response to Lamoo12

Your wedding. Your decision, especially because you're paying for it.

We got married an hour away from where we lived, outside, at a hotel. We loved it. Some family and friends couldn't make it and we missed them but I wasn't going to have it closer to his or my family just because they wanted us to. We picked the location we loved. Now I would have loved to have gotten married in Disney but at the time it would have cost us way to much. So we're thinking of getting remarried in Disney for our 20th anniversary. We've only been married 8 years.


 
GMFTS
GMFTS 
Mayor
Posts: 14072
Joined: 02-09-08
GMFTS
  • GMFTS on 10-02-12 12:44 PM
In response to Lamoo12

  • Lamoo12 Said:
it's your wedding and you need to be happy with the day and all the decisions. there is always someone that doesn't like something. its unfortunate that the person for you is your mom. in the end you and your husband are the ones that need to be there and enjoy the day. i say go disney.

plus, some people won't be able to attend for various reasons anyway. why should you change your dreams for them?

my brother is getting married next year in the mountains of plattsburgh, NY. he's at least 6 hours away and the closest airport is 1+ hours away. a lot of us are making the trip because we love and support him, not because it's convenient.[/quote]


This!


 
Henri Jean
Queen
Posts: 28769
Joined: 04-25-09
Henri Jean
In response to GMFTS

I have heard of people getting married at Disney and they say it is truly a dream-come-true wedding. Disney makes every detail perfect.

Disney has some special romantic memories for you. Go for it!

Some people think Disneyland is only for kids and just don't get it.

This is your big day - one of the biggest of a lifetime and when you look back at your wedding pictures you want it to be your dream wedding.

No matter when or where you have it, some people will come, some will not.

I think it is an awesome idea! I wish we had done something like that although we had a nice wedding - we were married in our home with 14 close friends and family. It was perfect for us but it was not a first wedding for either one of us.


 
catzscrapper
Pro
Posts: 1835
Joined: 09-05-09
catzscrapper
In response to Henri Jean

OK, Just my opinion but if it were me I would not let a family member, even Mom wreck my idea of what I want for my wedding. I have had family give their opinions and then expect me to do what they say, to me that is wrong. It is YOUR choice with your guy, don't let other people make you feel bad for doing it your way. I would explain to Mom that you would like her to be there but understand if she does not come. Disney is for kids of ALL ages anyway! I hope it all gets worked out and your day is perfect!


 
_pink_glitter_hearts_
Guru
Posts: 2270
Joined: 12-26-07
_pink_glitter_hearts_
In response to catzscrapper

thanks to everyone for the comments yesterday, i talked with a friend when we got together for lunch. he was sad that he would not be able to attend the wedding because he can't go that far out...but he understood. while i know few are going to to be that understanding, some many even get their feeling hurt/mad (especially some relatives)...but i will just have to remind myself "it's my day...not theirs". i admit that it will be hard when the guilt trip comes in with the cries of...but you were a flower girl at my wedding!"..."i was there the day you were born"...etc, but like said above if they love and support me they will understand and come. later last night, i also had a talk with my fiance. he reminded me how my family can be, and how some can be dramatic and overreact (there's one in every family! lol), but he reminded me not to take it to heart. it will be hard, since i'm such a people-pleaser...but from here on out i will just remind myself it's my day thanks again for all your comments, i really started to second guess myself.


 
Gelidy Gelato
Diva
Posts: 7666
Joined: 07-05-07
Gelidy Gelato
In response to _pink_glitter_hearts_

My 2 cents – the voice of dissent (but I agree with your mom)
1 cent
In my experience, the BEST weddings I have attended were comfortable, local, “low key” affairs either at someone’s home/backyard, a park/beach, or a club (country club, golf course, yacht club). A relaxed atmosphere which encouraged everyone to attend.

2 cents
What is it with the Disney brainwashing? Not everyone is into Disney or the Disney experience. Disneyland/World DOES stress a lot of people out, especially older people. From the parking headache, extra walking, sterile environment, Disney branding in your face, etc. Why do you want to be “joined at the hip to Disney” on your wedding day? If you have to get your Disney fix, go on a Disney cruise for your honeymoon.

YOU want to be the one that shines, not some Disney thingy. I hate corporations that take over our lives and who knows how you will feel about them in several years. It's like having a "Hello Kitty" wedding and then 5 years later you say to yourself "what the heck was I thinking?"

sorry if I sound tough but I appear to be the only one with this anti-Disney World position.


 
Seaexplore
Governor
Posts: 20265
Joined: 06-16-05
Seaexplore
In response to Gelidy Gelato

I feel that it IS your day and YOU are paying for it so you should have what YOU want.

HOWEVER, do you want to possibly exclude those who cannot afford it?

My sister did a destination wedding in Belize. I am a teacher, my husband is an out of work contractor. My husband and I had to save for over a YEAR to afford to go to her wedding. She did not pay a penny of our trip. It ended up being over $7k by the time everything was done. A week long $7k vacation we could not really afford.

If it wasn't my sister, I would not have gone. I still think she was selfish in her location choice and many people she wanted to have there were not able to go due to cost.

Personally, I have no desire at all to attend a Disney wedding. I am NOT a fan of Disneyland at all.


 
m.perk
m.perk 
Governor
Posts: 21684
Joined: 03-11-07
m.perk
In response to Seaexplore

Your wedding, Your money, Your choice. This is going to be the best day of your life (until babies of course) so make it as memorable as you want. Maybe do a backyard BBQ reception (low key) with some of the family that couldnt make it. Don't let everyone bring you down because you want to have YOUR dream wedding. If you and the hubs are down for it, go for it!


 
m.perk
m.perk 
Governor
Posts: 21684
Joined: 03-11-07
m.perk
In response to m.perk

I should add, I REGRET not having my dream wedding...for that reason. My mom didnt want me to do exactly what I wanted, so I didnt. I wish I would have stood up for myself and just done what I originally planned.


 
Luvmyfam
Governor
Posts: 21392
Joined: 12-30-05
Luvmyfam
In response to m.perk

I totally get the desire for a Disney wedding. We've never attended one, but we've seen a couple in progress from our hotel room at the Disneyland Hotel once. They looked awesome!

A coworker of mine recently got married at a venue that was about 2 hours away from most of the relatives. She rented a "party bus" for the older members who she wanted to attend, but knew would be unable to drive that far.

Is it possible to have a local, inexpensive reception or BBQ after your wedding?

Ultimately, it's your wedding and you are paying, so I think it's your choice.


 
 Page 1 of 2 
Permissions Topic Options
1432 Views
Recent Topics