Username Post: Since we're all talking weddings here        (Topic#1581393)
RedSquirrel
Idol
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Joined: 05-09-09
RedSquirrel

I have a question which has been bugging me for 13 years since we got married!

We planned a Millennium wedding; 31st Dec 1999 at our local pub which happened to be a building of historic interest close to our hearts. It still is. We were paying for it ourselves, and money was tight so I was doing whatever I could do myself (flowers, dresses, decor, invitations/orders of service etc.).

However 7 months before, in the June, DH2b's Grandad and my Dad were both diagnosed with terminal cancer, my contract ended and DH was sent to work abroad. We decided to bring the wedding forwards to the end of July so that the invalids could come.

We had already booked the pub and reception for Dec 31st, and paid in full because it was the Millennium, so we had to keep that. We decided to have a small lunch after the church ceremony on the new date, but because I had lost my job, we had no money to pay for everyone. We had to tell people that they were all invited to the Millennium party reception, but that they would have to pay for their own meals. We just couldn't manage it, given the circumstances - we didn't even get a honeymoon until a year later. They seemed to understand. Nobody said anything bad.

But I've been reading everyone's opinions on here about tackiness, and cringing that people may have thought that what we did was tacky. We didn't have a registry or mention anything about gifts on the invitations, by the way!

Please, be honest with me. Do you think it was tacky?


 
Henri Jean
Queen
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Henri Jean
In response to RedSquirrel

Not at all under the circumstances. Not at all.

If you had been in good financial position and taking a major honeymoon the next day then maybe. But under the circumstances you did what you had to do and I cannot imagine anyone not understanding.

The way you word things goes a long way too... It would be tacky if people showed up for lunch after the wedding or at the millenium party and weren't told in advance that they would have to pay for thier own. But it sounds like you told people in advance so they knew and were prepared.

Nothing tacky here.


 
RedSquirrel
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Posts: 4913
Joined: 05-09-09
RedSquirrel
In response to Henri Jean

Yes, it was all on the invitations and I hated putting it there, but at least people were prepared so that they could decline if they wished.


 
GMFTS
GMFTS 
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GMFTS
  • GMFTS on 10-04-12 09:49 AM
In response to RedSquirrel

Totally agree with Henri.

Tone and circumstance are two factors that make such a difference. You and dh went out of your way to make sure people who were important to you could come. You let everyone know what to expect. You didn't have grandiose or selfish expectations.

I'd say that not only were you not tacky I think you were brilliant.


 
_pink_glitter_hearts_
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Joined: 12-26-07
_pink_glitter_hearts_
In response to GMFTS

not tacky at all, given the circumstances. you handled it very well.


 
Debbie2006
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Joined: 12-31-05
Debbie2006
In response to _pink_glitter_hearts_

Under the circumstances no not tacky at all. And you did it right. Can you believe its been 12 almost 13 yrs ago? I still cant believe I have been married 23 yrs...cripes when my parents were married that long they were like.....old!! Not really after all.....


 
cindy312
Diva
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Joined: 01-08-06
cindy312
In response to Debbie2006

Not the least bit tacky.


 
lifethroughalens
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Joined: 08-16-10
lifethroughalens
In response to cindy312

I don't think so either. I think being honest is a show of class, especially under the circumstances you were in.


 
RedSquirrel
Idol
Posts: 4913
Joined: 05-09-09
RedSquirrel
In response to lifethroughalens

Thank you ladies - your opinions are much appreciated. I feel better now.


 
auntieant
Expert
Posts: 1235
Joined: 06-09-06
auntieant
In response to RedSquirrel

You weren't tacky at all like the other ladies have said.

I'm sure they would have talked about you more if you HAD done everything you wanted and then couldn't pay bills that you needed to survive on..

"They paid for all that for their wedding and now can't pay their bills."

So you were brilliant in everything that you did.. Now breathe and let it go.. LOL


 
Diva
Posts: 5249
Joined: 09-06-07
In response to auntieant

I think is not tacky at all and more than anything very honest and open about the situation. I am ones of those who believe that if I invated people who really care for m e, they will be very understanding and supportive. DOnt sweat something that happen so many years ago. Focus on the good memeories of your special day!


 
RedSquirrel
Idol
Posts: 4913
Joined: 05-09-09
RedSquirrel
In response to bayamonesa1

I know, it's a long time ago, but you know how sometimes you cringe at how you handled things? Sometimes from school-days? Or maybe it's just me!

I'll lay that particular ghost to rest now. Thanks everyone!


 
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