Username Post: Working Mom Seeking an S 4 chest and a cape        (Topic#1505357)
zrock
zrock 
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zrock
  • zrock on 02-28-13 04:08 PM
In response to babigirl

amy I am sorry and I say that meaning I know this is going to be hard no matter what you are right you need to just be there for your dd. I have to say it is a little more difficult because of the age thing and I dont know how it is where you live but over here due to your dds age and the age of the father it is an automatic cps case that has to be reported.

you know that we are here for you know matter what and I know that god will be watching over all of you.

I think the attitude she is giving may be because she is scared but also probably has a lot to do with this man----I know you are going to be supportive but also be wary he is older and his intentions are unknown right now.

sending you lots of hugs----I dont think there are very many words that are going to make sense at least not for a couple of days once you have a chance to wrap your head around it all.

we are here to talk but I also know you have a great support system with your family just want to remind you that we are here for you


 
zrock
zrock 
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zrock
  • zrock on 02-28-13 04:09 PM
In response to zrock

btw I am not sure that I helped in anyway but just know


WE LOVE YOU AND ARE HERE FOR YOU!


 
crafty mom of 5
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crafty mom of 5
In response to zrock

Thanks Zandra! The legal age of consent in Alabama is 16. Anything under 16 has to be reported to the Dept of Human Resources. I am very familiar with these laws due to the work that I used to do with pregnant women and teens. I told him when Danny and I met him on Wednesday that I don't trust him or her right now...because they both lied to us! I am going to keep them both on a tight leash for now, anyway.


 
provinca
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provinca
In response to crafty mom of 5

Amy,first and foremost, a HUGE hug of support coming your way!

And I do believe congratulations are in order because a beautiful innocent baby will be blessing your life. As hard as it will be, and as unsettling, and unexpected as it may be, each and every baby is a blessing from God. It's a new life to celebrate.

On the other side of it all, are the circumstances and your dd's young age. Motherhood is difficult as it is, and to be so young makes it more difficult. You're a wonderful person, and a super mother, and I have every confidence that you will do right by your daughter and be as supportive as you need to be (even though you really want to strangle her!)

I can't even imagine how you're feeling, especially about the father's age. Again, he deserves a swift kick in the groin for what he's done, but that won't help the situation in any way whatsoever.

Sixteen is a tough age and girls are very full of attitude at that age. My older dd is turning 20 in a few months, and I can honestly say that we had some very tumultuous years from about 15 - 18. My friends told me that eventually I would "like" her again -- I always loved her, but so many days I knew I didn't really like her very much because of the way she acted and the way she treated her family -- especially me! I was always there for her though and eventually she became that beautiful, independent, young woman that I hoped she would be.

Your dd may have to cut her "difficult years" a bit short because she'll be forced to grow up a bit faster, but she will grow up and you will be very proud of who she becomes. I believe that we are all products of our upbringing, even though we have some bumps along the road. Your daughter has been surrounded by loving parents and family, and that is who she is deep down.

I'll keep you all in my prayers and pray for a healthy pregnancy for her, for peace in your heart, and for the joy that a new life brings.

We're here for you . . . hugs my friend!


Edited by provinca on 03-01-13 06:46 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
crafty mom of 5
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crafty mom of 5
In response to provinca

Thanks Anna! I really needed that! I am coming to terms with it a little more everyday. I know that the baby is a blessing, but I am still focused on the difficult life that Briana will now have. It could have been avoided, but those are the breaks. I'm going to make some sweet lemonade with these lemons! LOL!


 
provinca
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In response to crafty mom of 5

Because you're a wonderful mother, I'm sure knowing the difficult future Brianna will have is very difficult to come to terms with. The bright side is that that difficulty will help to form who she becomes. It will make her stronger; it will (hopefully) make her appreciate her own mother more and also to understand a mother's need and instinct to make sure all her children are protected and safe.

LOL - when I was in my rebellious teenage years myself, I remember my mother constantly telling me that I wouldn't even begin to understand how she felt until I had a daughter of my own who was doing as I was doing and to feel the pains and angst that my mom was feeling. And she's absolutely 100% right! I recently posted something on my FB that said, "sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out." So true, for I found myself saying that to my older DD so many times. Now that my younger is 16, I find myself saying it to her as well!

Of course it could have all been avoided, but it wasn't so it becomes a reality. And you've got the right attitude when you say you're going to make sweet lemonade with the lemons! My mom used to have a plaque hanging in our house that was an old Italian saying. It translated to "Could have; should have; and would have were three fools that roamed the earth." It looses something in translation, but you get the gist. Somethings can't be undone.

It won't be easy, but with the help of loving family and God, you'll make it through. And I have no doubt that you will be a WONDERFUL grandmother!!!

Hugs!



 
babigirl
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In response to provinca

Anna beautiful advice I knew you would say the right thing


 
crafty mom of 5
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crafty mom of 5
In response to babigirl

Anna, I have told Briana many times that she will not understand the reasons that I say and do the things that I do until she has her own child. I know that as I was growing up, I thought that my mother was just trying to "mess up my life". It dawned on me when I was in my mid twenties that I couldn't have been further from the truth in thinking that. It was as if I had been struck by a lightning bolt of realization! I am trying my very best to be understanding and supportive, but still wanting to guide her in the right direction as well. Sometimes I feel so lost myself, though. In some ways, I feel that I have failed her. I am so upset with him because he gets to continue to live his life as if this were nothing more than a speed bump along the road. Briana, on the other hand, has to sacrifice everything...her childhood, her time, her life...for the sake of the child! Danny and I have told her that we will not be raising her child for her. She will receive help from us, but she will have to figure out how to juggle the things that are most important and let go of those that aren't so important...such is the life of every parent. I wish that there were some way that I could spare her the pain of this life lesson, but there just isn't. The girls at school have already been harsh towards her. Some of her true friends have really stepped up though. I tried to tell her that she was going to have to develop a tough skin.

I told her that I will most definitely not be called grandma! My mom is called Nanny, so that's out of the question. I think that I shall be called GiGi and Danny will be Pop! LOL!!


 
provinca
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provinca
In response to crafty mom of 5

Gigi -- I like that! My sister in law, who is 49 just became a grandmother (my brother's oldest son in his first marriage; when he was only 20!) She didn't want to be called grandma either. She was contemplating "Glam-ma", but decided it sounded silly after she heard one of the Housewives of Atlanta being called that! She settled on Nana; that's what my sister is called too -- her daughter began having children at 19; and she had her daughter at 20, so she was pretty young to be a grandmother . . .

Have you or your daughter ever watched the show "Teen Mom"? The girls from the 1st or 2nd season are still on -- the kids are now 2 years old. It's not the best show; but it really does portray what these young mothers go through with teen pregnancies and then trying to raise an infant; most of them on their own because the dads have flown the coop.

I hope that at the age of 25, this young man is gainfully employed and will be able to at least provide some good, steady financial support to Brianna and the baby so she can have a bit more flexibility to focus on continuing her own schooling. It'll be tough and a hard lesson learned and it'll be tough for you to watch it all and control yourself from beating someone to a pulp!

When is the baby due? Is Brianna feeling well? She's very lucky you're a nurse and have worked with teen moms. It stinks that the girls at school are being harsh with her; I hope it's not too unbearable for her. She'll find out who her real friends are through all of this.

Hang in there . . . and continue making that sweet lemonade!


 
crafty mom of 5
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crafty mom of 5
In response to provinca

He is her manager! He is gainfully employed. Did I mention that he has 3 daughters with 2 other young women? The hits just keep coming! We have watched that show together, in the hopes that it would deter my girls from making this type of choice with such huge consequences. I agree that it does show how hard it is to raise a child/children as a teen. Obviously, it didn't sink in with Briana.

By my calculations, she will be due on October 21st...give or take a few days. She has been sick with sinus congestion. I think that she has had morning sickness once or twice, though. She is roughly 7 weeks pregnant.


 
provinca
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In response to crafty mom of 5

October 21 is my birthday Amy, so the baby is of to a good start LOL!!!

The manager where she works??? That's got to be against some kind of store policy! OMGoodness about the other children -- were their mothers all young like Brianna? That's very upsetting! He must me one smooth talker! Poor Briana -- doesn't sound like he'll be a committed father or co-parent if he's busy fathering all these children! Oh my! Huge hugs to you . . . I sure hope he's not a total jerk to her; she's still very innocent at 16, and she doesn't need that at such a young age. I wish I could just wrap my arms around both of you right now but know that I'm doing it from way over here and I just keep praying that things will be as best as they can be for your family.


Edited by provinca on 03-03-13 04:21 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
crafty mom of 5
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crafty mom of 5
In response to provinca

It is against the store policy. Danny's cousin is the general manager over the stores in Alabama...I considered getting him fired, but what good would come of that? He certainly might not find another job in this economy and wouldn't be able to take care of his responsibilities. Believe me, we laid into him...because he is supposed to be the adult in the situation! I told her the same thing about him being a smooth talker, but she said that she played a part in it to. She is so blinded right now. I only hope that he can take care of his responsibilities. Apparently, he has custody of his oldest child and sees the other 2 girls every other weekend. He pays child support as well. So I only pray that he isn't as bad as I think he already is. I told him that he has proven himself to be a liar to me and that he is going to be branded as such until he proves me otherwise! Thank you so much, Anna, for your kind words and prayers. It truly means the world to me!


 
cutencrafty
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cutencrafty
In response to crafty mom of 5

Yes, October is a good month! My birthday is the 9th.

Well, that is a good sign atleast he does pay child support for his other children. But you'd think bells would go off in his head that ding ding ding what I'm doing isn't right.

On the bright side you'll be a young grandmother so you'll be able to be active with him/her be able to share many many years toghether. Unlike with my kids my in-laws are pretty active for their age but they are like in their 70's and they aren't young or getting any younger.

Not sure if I should be worried or not my eye is still twitching! It's driving me crazy. It's not constant but it comes and goes through out the day.

My kids are crazy they were in my bathroom and my younger son started to take some stuff out of the cabinent and said he was going to organize my cabinent!!! lol, I was oh ok, I was in the middle of cooking dinner so I couldn't stay there and it was just easier to let him continue it was keeping him occupied, then I went to go check on them and everything was out of the cabinent and I asked what were they doing and they said they were fixing the sink! lol. Like they have a million and one toys and they have to fix my sink. I did after clean out the stuff and really organized it all so I ended up with a good end result.


 
provinca
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provinca
In response to cutencrafty

Amy, you're right about him losing his job. Better keep him employed so he can do right by Brianna. Good for you for telling him exactly how you feel and where he stands in your eyes. Hopefully, he will prove he's not the total jerk he appears to be by taking care of things. How's that saying go though: Pray for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Michelle, I get that annoying twitch in my eye as well. I find that it's most noticeable when I'm stressed (usually at work).


 
crafty mom of 5
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crafty mom of 5
In response to provinca

Michelle, it sounds like stress to me. Mine also does that when I am stressed out. It did that a lot at my last job! I left there in tears a lot of the time.

Anna, those are my thoughts exactly!


 
cutencrafty
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cutencrafty
In response to crafty mom of 5

Yeah, it probably is stress. Although, I can say my stress isn't from my job it's just everything else in my life. I'm trying to relax but it's not working, my eye keeps twitching and I keep telling myself this throat thing that I've had too is better but really it's not I feel like I'm being strangled or a vitamin is stuck feeling. I feel like I'm a hypocondriac(sp??). I'm not really though.


 
cutencrafty
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cutencrafty
In response to crafty mom of 5

We are soppose to have some lovely weather coming- rain snow oh not fun!

The lights here keep flickering hmm I think it's a sign they should send us home early. lol. I could use a few extra hours I need to go to the grocery store I have no food in my house.


 
cutencrafty
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cutencrafty
In response to cutencrafty

Well, we got lucky and got no snow!!!

Anna, were you as lucky?


 
provinca
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provinca
In response to cutencrafty

Michelle, we did get some, but it didn't stick. It's cold and VERY windy. It's still snowing and will be into tomorrow afternoon. The temps are dropping so the snow is starting to stick and the roads are beginning to ice up a bit. I'm so tired of this already!!! Bring on SPRING!


 
crafty mom of 5
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crafty mom of 5
In response to provinca

I too am ready for Spring! The boys have plyed 2 baseball games and both were freezing cold!


 
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