I am starting this thread for people who would like to share jokes or real life funny stories. It is true that laughter is the best medicine.
I am going to start this with a real life story.
I used to have a problem with saying things bass-ackwards.... well...i guess i still have that problem..
Anyway... back when I used to work in the banking industry, I worked at a drive-up bank located several blocks from the main office.
One day this man and his gf came to the drive-up to cash a couple of checks that were not drawn off our bank, but drawn off of First INTERSTATE bank. I asked if he had an account with us, because in banking, we have to have RECOURSE when cashing a check that is not drawn off our bank, "recourse" meaning a way to get our money back should the check come back NSF (Non Sufficient Funds). He said he didnt know if he had an account (duh), so I turned around and looked up his name in the puter...
I couldnt find any account under his name... so in my head I an thinking.... oh,man! i cannot cash these checks... they are drawn off of first INTERSTATE bank, I have no RECOURSE.
So, I turn around and with a very serious and concerned look on my face i say:
I am sorry sir, but we have to have intercourse.
Gasp! I sat there!!! Totally stunned as to what just came out of my mouth! I had intertwined the word "interstate" with "recourse". And I sat there wondering how I was ever going to fix it!!!! I thought I could perhaps try to come up with something when the teller behind me totally cracks up and says "What did you say???" and she just loses it!
The teller beside me was an elderly lady... and when she said "OH MY!!!", i totally lost it too!!! but it was an embarrassing laugh with tears coming down my face! i had no clue as to how i was gonna fix this slip of my tongue!
Well. the teller behind us calls the main office and says "You are not gonna believe what Alvie just said to a customer!" They knew about how I had a tendancy to mix up my words. SO the story spread like wild fire!!!
Well. the only thing i could say to the guy was... "You know what I meant" ..... I mean... that is all i could come up with!!
A few hours later, a couple of loan officers came up from the main branch to our drive-up and said:
"We hear our drive-up is now a full-service bank, is there a penalty for early withdrawal??
Yes i died again from embarrassment.
At the yearly Christmas party, I was given the Golden Zipper Award.
Yes, I will remember this forever....