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Username Post: Laughter is the BEST medicine!        (Topic#1533257)
laceyKat
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laceyKat

I am starting this thread for people who would like to share jokes or real life funny stories. It is true that laughter is the best medicine.

I am going to start this with a real life story.

I used to have a problem with saying things bass-ackwards.... well...i guess i still have that problem..
Anyway... back when I used to work in the banking industry, I worked at a drive-up bank located several blocks from the main office.

One day this man and his gf came to the drive-up to cash a couple of checks that were not drawn off our bank, but drawn off of First INTERSTATE bank. I asked if he had an account with us, because in banking, we have to have RECOURSE when cashing a check that is not drawn off our bank, "recourse" meaning a way to get our money back should the check come back NSF (Non Sufficient Funds). He said he didnt know if he had an account (duh), so I turned around and looked up his name in the puter...
I couldnt find any account under his name... so in my head I an thinking.... oh,man! i cannot cash these checks... they are drawn off of first INTERSTATE bank, I have no RECOURSE.

So, I turn around and with a very serious and concerned look on my face i say:

I am sorry sir, but we have to have intercourse.

Gasp! I sat there!!! Totally stunned as to what just came out of my mouth! I had intertwined the word "interstate" with "recourse". And I sat there wondering how I was ever going to fix it!!!! I thought I could perhaps try to come up with something when the teller behind me totally cracks up and says "What did you say???" and she just loses it!

The teller beside me was an elderly lady... and when she said "OH MY!!!", i totally lost it too!!! but it was an embarrassing laugh with tears coming down my face! i had no clue as to how i was gonna fix this slip of my tongue!

Well. the teller behind us calls the main office and says "You are not gonna believe what Alvie just said to a customer!" They knew about how I had a tendancy to mix up my words. SO the story spread like wild fire!!!

Well. the only thing i could say to the guy was... "You know what I meant" ..... I mean... that is all i could come up with!!

A few hours later, a couple of loan officers came up from the main branch to our drive-up and said:
"We hear our drive-up is now a full-service bank, is there a penalty for early withdrawal??
Yes i died again from embarrassment.

At the yearly Christmas party, I was given the Golden Zipper Award.

Yes, I will remember this forever....


 
beccaboo3
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beccaboo3
In response to laceyKat

That is too funny!!!


 
CommaHolly
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CommaHolly
In response to beccaboo3

oh my something like that happened to me too once.LOL, I had it in my head to say EITHER "for the heck of it" OR "for the FUN of it,"

and it came out as "for the F*CK of it,,,,,,

in front of a customer,,,,I about died of embarrassment,,,,tried to explain,,,,,,,but well,,,,too embarrassing really!


 
Manda_K
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Manda_K
In response to CommaHolly

NICE! Really smooth.



 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
oh my something like that happened to me too once.LOL, I had it in my head to say EITHER "for the heck of it" OR "for the FUN of it,"

and it came out as "for the F*CK of it,,,,,,

in front of a customer,,,,I about died of embarrassment,,,,tried to explain,,,,,,,but well,,,,too embarrassing really!


I guess I said it in a more formal way..

This reminds me of another bank story.. BUT NOT ME this time!
There was a business customer who came into the bank everyday and his name was D*ck. Well one day it was pouring rain and this one teller who usually waited on the guy, MEANT to say Hey, D*ck, where is your umbrella???
But instead she said: Hey, where is your D*ck?

Now THAT would be embarrasing!!!!


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to Manda_K

OK, this didn't happen to me but I had the pleasure of being there and watching the red go up my coworkers cheek.

I use to work in the front office of a pediatrics doctor office. Once those phone lines were open at 8:30 in the morning they would ring off the hook so we would have to say " (insert name) Pediatrics office, could you hold please. And this would go on until all the lines were on hold then we would go down the lines and start taking the calls. Well, My coworker answered one call by saying "(insert name) Pediatrics office, could you HOLD ME Please. The person on the other line was a father calling. What are the chances of that happening and it's a male on the other line. I think he cracked up harder than we all did when we heard her say that. Thankfully it was a small office and the patrions all knew the staff well. But of course when he brought his young daughter into the office that day, He asked for (insert Name) because he was ready to hold her now.


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to laceyKat

  • laceyKat Said:
  • CommaHolly Said:
oh my something like that happened to me too once.LOL, I had it in my head to say EITHER "for the heck of it" OR "for the FUN of it,"

and it came out as "for the F*CK of it,,,,,,

in front of a customer,,,,I about died of embarrassment,,,,tried to explain,,,,,,,but well,,,,too embarrassing really!


I guess I said it in a more formal way..

This reminds me of another bank story.. BUT NOT ME this time!
There was a business customer who came into the bank everyday and his name was D*ck. Well one day it was pouring rain and this one teller who usually waited on the guy, MEANT to say Hey, D*ck, where is your umbrella???
But instead she said: Hey, where is your D*ck?

Now THAT would be embarrasing!!!!



thank goodness he didn't pull it out and show it to her.


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to DKravec

  • DKravec Said:
OK, this didn't happen to me but I had the pleasure of being there and watching the red go up my coworkers cheek.

I use to work in the front office of a pediatrics doctor office. Once those phone lines were open at 8:30 in the morning they would ring off the hook so we would have to say " (insert name) Pediatrics office, could you hold please. And this would go on until all the lines were on hold then we would go down the lines and start taking the calls. Well, My coworker answered one call by saying "(insert name) Pediatrics office, could you HOLD ME Please. The person on the other line was a father calling. What are the chances of that happening and it's a male on the other line. I think he cracked up harder than we all did when we heard her say that. Thankfully it was a small office and the patrions all knew the staff well. But of course when he brought his young daughter into the office that day, He asked for (insert Name) because he was ready to hold her now.


tooo funny..... maybe i should use that line.... could get me some prospects.....


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to laceyKat

Hey, whatever it takes to get you what you want.


 
beccaboo3
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beccaboo3
In response to DKravec

this thread is cracking me up!!! i have one, but it's not as good as the ones already posted.

my bff went to j's one day. while she was in line to pay for her merchandise she took a piece of gum out of her bag. when it was her turn to pay the cashier told her she needed to pay for that gum she stuck in her bag. for some reason she didn't try to explain that she already had the gum in her bag, but instead she took off running out the door. she jumped in her car and squealed tires getting out of the parking lot. she went to park at walmart (which is right next to j's) and called me from the parking lot. she was so upset that the lady had accused her of stealing and she was wondering why i couldn't stop laughing. she didn't even realize that it made things look a lot worse that she ran out of the store when accused of stealing. needless to say she can't show her face in that j's again. good thing she lives in another state now.


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to beccaboo3


that is toooo funny! when i first read it, I thought she had done it all on purpose as a joke!!!


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to laceyKat

OMG Becca, that is too funny. And at J's of all places. I'd be having huge withdrawls. Did she at least leave with her merchandise. Hey, if you're going to steal gum, you may as well just go all the way.


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to DKravec



 
Manda_K
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Manda_K
In response to laceyKat

LOL


Watch out for gum thieves!!!


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to Manda_K

Becca, did your friend at least steal the kind who's flavor last's all day.


 
mindyradio
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mindyradio
In response to Manda_K

When my brother was in Jr High school he had a teacher who's name was Mrs. D*ck. Well, one day they were dissecting/inspecting pigs. Some of the other boys where messing about and hanging the pigs on a stick out the window. My brother trying to get the teachers attention says...."Mrs Pig (she was a rather large woman), they are hanging their d*cks out the window"....LOL Of course, it got her attention! My brother is now in his 40's and we still ask him if he has seen any d*cks hanging out the window lately?


 
beccaboo3
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beccaboo3
In response to DKravec

she didn't actually steal the gum. she already had it and i guess the cashier didn't see her get it out of her bag, but she saw her put it back in. my first question after i stopped laughing was did she run out with the merchandise, but she said no. i make fun of her for this all the time and to this day she still doesn't know why she didn't try to explain to the cashier that she wasn't trying to steal the gum. it just made her look even more guilty when she ran even though she wasn't guilty at all. i would have at least defended myself. and of all places it had to be at j's.


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to mindyradio

That is too funny. I wonder if "Mrs Pig" also tells that story to friends and family.


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to beccaboo3

  • beccaboo3 Said:
she didn't actually steal the gum. she already had it and i guess the cashier didn't see her get it out of her bag, but she saw her put it back in. my first question after i stopped laughing was did she run out with the merchandise, but she said no. i make fun of her for this all the time and to this day she still doesn't know why she didn't try to explain to the cashier that she wasn't trying to steal the gum. it just made her look even more guilty when she ran even though she wasn't guilty at all. i would have at least defended myself. and of all places it had to be at j's.



Of course she didn't steal the gum, but we have to keep the humor of it alive.


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to DKravec

MindyRadio..... love it!!


 
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