Username Post: Laughter is the BEST medicine!        (Topic#1533257)
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to madmatter

This is an open thread and I am the only one adding jokes.

Doesnt anyone else have some jokes or funny stories to share???


 
madmatter
Diva
Posts: 9160
Joined: 12-19-08
madmatter
In response to laceyKat

we are all intimidated by how funny your stories/jokes are
and are afraid ours won't be as good ...


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to madmatter

yeah......riiiiiight


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to laceyKat

Lisa (featherrs) sent me this one....

Man is a woman's best friend.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.
He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
He will enable her to express her deepest emotions
and give in to her most intimate desires.
He will make sure she always feels that she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait...... sorry....... I'm thinking of wine.
It's wine that does all that.
Sorry.


 
helbert
Angel
Posts: 76637
Joined: 10-07-07
helbert
In response to laceyKat

OMG!!!!!! That's too funny!!!!!


 
madmatter
Diva
Posts: 9160
Joined: 12-19-08
madmatter
In response to helbert

passing this one along ...


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to madmatter

To any of you who may be reading this.... please share a joke or some funny story...

No Sunday Paper:
This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors.




"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!"
The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter,
"Well, ********, that explains why no one was at church today."


 
CountrynCrafty
Veteran
Posts: 362
Joined: 01-30-11
CountrynCrafty
In response to laceyKat

Funny story's about my family...
We had a small party the other day. We had two couples over (each couple has 1 son too) and a single friend whose leaving for the Navy.

My hubby was grilling ribs on the pit and while walking them outside accidentaly stepped on our DS's snack bowl (thankfully it's plastic). I was trying to get up (off the floor) to clean it (I'm 37wks preg) when our Navy friend said he'd clean it. Just so happened DS walks in...he looks at "B", runs around him, grabs his snack bowl, and runs to me, then points to "B" and tells me all about it lol-SOO cute!

*WARNING_VERY BLUNT AND MAY NOT BE CONSIDERED APPROPRIATE!!*



Later that night the kids were down and the husbands were out (buzzed) and for some strange reason they brought up BM's-please remember they are all 20-21 lol-When I asked how everything was going and if they wanted anything-non alcholic lol(they were outside)-they said they were fine and were talking about BM's-I automatically asked "The kids BM's??" reply was no. I went in and told my friends and they laughed...you know your a mom when lol.


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to cmartin1

so true!!!


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to martink



 
davidc 
New Kid On the Block
Posts: 2
Joined: 03-29-11
In response to laceyKat

Really Funny


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to davidc

Were you being facetious? Or was it really funny to you?


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to laceyKat

This joke is from Lisa (featherrs)

WHY I AM DIVORCED

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my husband would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out
he barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.' I thought..... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... they will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my handsome Boss Rick, said,
'Good Morning, lady,
and by the way Happy Birthday! '
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock , when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Rick,
that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go where we normally would go.
He chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We?'
I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?' He said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.
He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my husband my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.
And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to laceyKat

Received this from Linnny:

The family wheeled Grandma out onto the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, and then tied a pillow around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew....... 'Those idiots won't let me fart..'



 
Linnny
Linnny 
Queen
Posts: 38002
Joined: 01-18-08
Linnny
In response to laceyKat

On the couch-------------------- -> NEKKID!!!!!!


 
Lenethren
Governor
Posts: 17370
Joined: 01-19-10
Lenethren
In response to Linnny


Great thread! Been thoroughly enjoying reading the posts.

My ds was 11 or 12 and we were playing a board game. He would take forever on his turns so finally I said, "You are being as slow as molasses!" He looked at me funny and said, "What did you say?" I repeated it, "Your being as slow as molasses!" He looks angry and says, "I don't think it's very nice to call me a moles a**!" When I was done laughing hysterically I explained what molasses is.


 
laceyKat
Angel
Posts: 56028
Joined: 01-14-08
laceyKat
In response to Lenethren

cute!


 
CommaHolly
Angel
Posts: 68948
Joined: 01-30-09
CommaHolly
In response to laceyKat




I'm rolling over here


 
CommaHolly
Angel
Posts: 68948
Joined: 01-30-09
CommaHolly
In response to CommaHolly

anyone see Google's April Fool's joke????

http://mail.google.com/mail/help/motion.html


 
DKravec
Angel
Posts: 71307
Joined: 09-05-08
DKravec
In response to laceyKat

  • laceyKat Said:
Received this from Linnny:

The family wheeled Grandma out onto the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, and then tied a pillow around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew....... 'Those idiots won't let me fart..'




Now I get why you were doing the leaning to the write and left thing. I was terribly confused before.


 
Permissions Topic Options
31422 Views
Recent Topics