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Username Post: Laughter is the BEST medicine!        (Topic#1533257)
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to kelseymel


love that last line!!!!


 
Linnny
Linnny 
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Linnny
In response to laceyKat

Just what I needed!!!!


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to kelseymel

  • kelseymel Said:
Got this from my mom and had to share---

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's ***. It's the tortoise life for me!

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

I'm a senior. Go around me!




OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE THIS. I'm so glad I stopped by today to read a few jokes. Wanted to start my day out right and I just did. This baby is being printed and hung in my house for my husband to see.


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to DKravec

Looks like the gang is here. High guys. Looks like we all needed a joke today.


 
DKravec
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DKravec
In response to lifethroughalens

  • lifethroughalens Said:
One December my cousins brother in law thought he would play a joke on her and stole her yard decorations (they were the deer that light up). So in retaliation she had us (me, my sister, uncle and his kids) to take to the brother in laws house a huge sign that read (Merry Christmas from (their last name) and string it across their driveway. We also took a blow-up Santa, an old dead mum (from Halloween) and a toilet from her mom's bathroom remodel. We sat the toilet out, with the mum in the bowl, with Santa posed as if he were flushing the toilet and waving at the same time. The banner was strung across the drive, so you had to get out of the car to move it. They live on a major road and because they were at family's house on Christmas Day it was out there for awhile. All of his friends called laughing at him and saying how much they LOVED his decorations.
To add to it, we found out the following Christmas that someone had taken a picture of it and sent out Christmas cards to all of their friends, his work, her work (she works for a doctor and the day it arrived in the mail, was the day the doctor decided to open the mail). This was a gift that kept giving. And, til this day he still turns bright red when it is even mentioned.




I would love to see a picture of this one. Too funny.


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to DKravec

oh my!! I would love to have seen that too!!


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to laceyKat

Linny shared this one with me:

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
“Hi Darling”, he says, “Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you said Hello to them..”


 
Smashley
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Smashley
In response to laceyKat

  • laceyKat Said:



>
THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A NORTHERN GIRL

Three friends married women from different parts of the US .

The first man married a woman from Florida . He told her that she was to
do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the
third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put
away.

The second man married a woman from Texas . He gave his wife orders that
she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he
didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the
third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was
a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Washington . He ordered her to keep the
house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on
the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything,
the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the
swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and
his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load
the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.






LMAO!! Darn skippy!! Us Northern girls don't like to be told what to do!

OMG this thread (well, the 5 pages I've read) is hilarious! Great idea!!


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to Smashley

I'd forgotten about that joke. Thanks for bringing it forward!! It is hilarious!!


 
Sonsie
Sonsie 
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Sonsie
In response to laceyKat

So in church Sunday morning when the priest is holding up the host/communion wafer my 6 year old Garrett is watching intently. Then he turns to my husband and ask really loudly "Is that a tortilla?". Guess we've been in Texas long enough... lol

I started shaking with laughter and could hear everyone around us chuckling. My son got a little offended at being laughed at which made it all the funnier as hubby tried to shush him.


 
Linnny
Linnny 
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Linnny
In response to Sonsie

  • Sonsie Said:
So in church Sunday morning when the priest is holding up the host/communion wafer my 6 year old Garrett is watching intently. Then he turns to my husband and ask really loudly "Is that a tortilla?". Guess we've been in Texas long enough... lol

I started shaking with laughter and could hear everyone around us chuckling. My son got a little offended at being laughed at which made it all the funnier as hubby tried to shush him.



That is too funny! Nice way to end my day...chuckling!


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to Linnny

i laughed right out loud when i read that, Sonsie!!!! That is the cutest thing i have heard!!!! thank you so much for sharing!!! i gotta tell my mom and sister about this because they are very devout catholics and go to mass every sunday. they will get a kick out of this!!!!!!!!!


 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to laceyKat

Oldie... but still funny...

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a longtime.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"



 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to laceyKat

Doesn't anyone have a joke to share or a funny story??


 
meezerpleaser
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meezerpleaser
In response to laceyKat

Okay, I've read all 25 pages of this today and laughed myself silly. So here's a contribution from me:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“



 
Linnny
Linnny 
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Linnny
In response to meezerpleaser



 
laceyKat
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laceyKat
In response to Linnny

OMG!!!!!


 
meezerpleaser
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Joined: 07-09-09
meezerpleaser
In response to laceyKat

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.


But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”



 
Linnny
Linnny 
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Linnny
In response to meezerpleaser



 
lifethroughalens
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lifethroughalens
In response to Linnny

This actually happened to me 2 weeks ago.
I had went home to spend a week with my mom and help her with some things she needed done around her house. I also went to spend some time with my grandmother, as she is "going down hill" as they say. Anyway, as soon as I got home Saturday afternoon, mom said get in the car we are going to take grandma to get a hotdog (from Sonic, it's her favorite). When we got finished eating we took my grandmother back home and decided to sit out on her front porch for a while. My Aunt was there as well and she and I sat down on one of those 2 person plastic benches (like you can get at Walmart). We had been sitting there about 20 minutes, talking when IT BROKE!! My Aunt and I both hit the concrete porch. I haven't seen my grandmother laugh that hard in a long time. I told her I didn't realize I was that heavy! When she got to where she could talk she informed me that it was already cracked. I wished I had known that before hitting the floor. Grandmother's gotta love them!


 
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