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Username Post: JAFF Jr. (Just a few friends)        (Topic#1541601)
StarsNSparkles
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StarsNSparkles
In response to Becky Scraps

Becky, no, definitely not something they brag about! LOL I only know because I have a kid on the team, and I do believe that I heard it is more prone in this area...especially one or two schools that are really lax and bad about cleaning their mats. Those mats are plastic...get them hot and sweaty, and they are a perfect breeding ground to stuff.

I think that is a big difference with blood children and step children. They can easily overlook the grouchy attitude and occasional frustrated snap...but a step kid is always looking for the difference. I don't intentionally treat Andrew any differently, I never leave him out of anything and I never do something for my kids that I would refuse to do for him. But...my kids will come up and love on me...sit with me, give me hugs...Andrew doesn't do that. There is a big difference between the love and bond of parent and child and parent and step-child.

I did ask Gregg last night...can you say in the last year that Shelby has grown and matured and doesn't act anything like she used to except on the rare occasion...and he said yes...and I said, now can you say the same for Andrew...and he said no. Andrew wants everyone around him to change, but he refuses to. He gets mad and can talk to us like dirt and walk out on a conversation, and that is just fine...because it's "in the heat of the moment," IDK...I'm just ready for him to go to his mom's for the summer and get a break from him.

Andrea...ugh on the dentist issue! That was terribly rude of them to do that to you...and selfish too...because I have no doubt they did it for the one final payment!!

Becky, I've taken both my kids to children's dentist when they needed fillings...but it was because our regular dentist didn't have the gas that would calm them so she could do the work. I wasn't too hip on my child getting that huge shot in the mouth without something to calm them first. For regular check-ups though, they just go to the family dentist.


 
southern lady
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southern lady
In response to Luvmyfam

  • Luvmyfam Said:
Stetz, I actually think your emotions with DS were rational! I would have been hurt, too. I guess it could depend, though. If I were in a strong place, I would probably laugh. In an exhausted place, it could have been the straw that broke the camel's back for me. DH's grandma had to go to that one ER. Around here, you have to go to the ER your health plan is assigned to. If you have no health plan, then the County ER is where you go. It just stinks if your health plan makes you go to the county one, which was her case. I love what Andrea said about Andrew. I bet she's right! Yikes on the wrestling stats!

ITA with Stetz that moms are under appreciated, but Heaven help them when they make a mistake. When the kids were in high school, we started a scrounge night. On that night everyone scrounged for themselves. They could make a sandwich, heat up soup, heat up leftovers, scramble eggs, or make whatever they wanted. Rules were no bought food, and we kept an eye on the nutrition (but didn't go nuts if they skipped veggies that night). It was a nice break for me, and I think it taught them to appreciate things more. The rule applied to DH, too!

I don't know if I told everyone this, but recently I spend the day at a friend's home. I noticed that her kids thanked her for each and every meal. I thought that was different.....we never thought to have our kids do that. It makes total sense, though. I think it's great. It teaches kids not to take us feeding them for granted.

Becky, are you a bit relieved that Trevor doesn't want to play tackle? I was relieved that Scott never went past flag football. Water polo was a scary sport to watch, but probably less scary than tackle. Although....Stetz's wrestling vs football stats puts things into perspective!

Danielle, if you try the pickle, let me know if it works.

Ashley, I think you should participate in NSD. You are talented and these challenges help everyone to improve their skills. But only do it if you are having fun. That's great that you have so much fun with the movies.

Andrea, Shawna is feeling better. She has gotten breaks in the afternoon from the 24-hour sickness. I can tell that she's feeling better just by looking at her. I was buying some albums from the superstore here, and I was checking out some cloud dies. One of your cards came up as an example! I ended up buying the dies.





I try it and it works


 
andrea m
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andrea m
In response to Becky Scraps

Becky yes kids dentist are very normal here. they see 18 and under. Its more kid friendly they have movies playing over head so kids can watch while there teeth are being cleaned. They give cool bags with all the tooth care stuff in it . Kids get a prize and they do a drawing monthly for a large prize. My ds won one of the big prizes once. My kids are a little old for it but its normal here. we had them in wa. too.


 
andrea m
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andrea m
In response to andrea m

Stetz that is a great comparison of Andrew and shelby. Maybe it made Gregg think a little more.

I hope the summer off will help things.


 
southern lady
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In response to southern lady

Stetz I really have no advise. I am sorry that you are going threw this with Andrew. Glad you had a talk with Gregg .

well today is a nice day here. today is my grandma birthday and I need to call her. nothing else the same old stuff I do work out and take dogs for a walk.

hope everyone has a nice Tuesday


 
Becky Scraps
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Becky Scraps
In response to southern lady

Our regular dentist does all of that stuff too. There is one hygienist who does most of the kids as she is amazing with them. I believe our dentist also has the gas as I think Rachel might of gotten it once. She's the only one who has ever needed a filling and Mike took her so I'm not positive. But almost think I remember him talking about her being a bit loopy.


 
StarsNSparkles
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StarsNSparkles
In response to Becky Scraps

Becky, your pretty lucky that one dentist can cater to kids while still serving adults. I would have preferred not to travel for my children...especially DD as hers was 1 1/2 hour drive each way.


 
StarsNSparkles
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StarsNSparkles
In response to StarsNSparkles

Andrea...I will say by the end of me and DH's conversation, he was a little more open to seeing the error in Andrew rather than just blaming me and catering to him. He admitted both the lack of maturity and the inability to walk in grace with people. I wasn't looking to score points in the arena...just get DH to understand it wasn't all me.


 
andrea m
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andrea m
In response to StarsNSparkles

I know you were not looking to score points. But i am glad he sees it. He needs to understand that Andrew will graduate soon and needs to be prepared for life as a grown up. I am a full believer that rules and Keeping to your word helps children in the maturity level to no end.


 
StarsNSparkles
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StarsNSparkles
In response to andrea m

I'm so glad I have all of you...friends to talk to and share stuff with. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm bottling all of this up, and I'm going to just explode. It's so hard sometimes to keep living life daily dealing with the same stuff over and over and over, especially when I don't see any solution or end in sight.


 
Luvmyfam
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Luvmyfam
In response to StarsNSparkles

Stetz, vent here whenever you need to. Shawna would do the same as Andrew. Hole up in her room, then accuse us of not spending time with her. We would even set up family events, but she would throw a fit to get out of them. Like A, she was very sensitive to the slightest snap. Heaven help me when I had an actual meltdown! And I am her bio mom! She would still accuse me of not loving her. There is no winning with people like this. I laughed when she admitted that if she has a girl, her fear is that the baby will be just like her, LMAO!

I'm not sure how the health plan situation is here anymore. We belong to Kaiser, so we mostly get one-stop health care under one roof. People in the networks do pay more when they go outside the network. One ongoing problem with the network care (like Blue Cross) is that the hospitals are always dropping the contracts. People can find docs in the plan, but not a hospital that the doc can work at, or visa versa. DH's company plan only offered one network, and when I looked into it, there were very, very few service providers in our area, but the hospital thing wasn't an issue. Thankfully my company offered decent medical, but taking it meant giving up the medical allowance we got when I waived their insurance.

Ashley, yes....you get to learn how to deal with difficult people, LOL! There is always something to learn, even in crummy situations. Keep in mind, too, that sometimes you learn the most from the most difficult supervisors. It takes time to realize that, though.

Andrea, are they recommending that he be seen by another dentist now, rather than in 6 months? How irritating.

There are a few kids' dentists here, too, but our kids have always gone to our dentists.

We got burned on our 6 months dental cleaning once when the pushy receptionist insisted that we come in the end of December to accommodate the office schedule. I wanted to stay with our already scheduled Jan appointments, but caved. In January she called and had to admit that we came in 1 month too early, and would have to pay for the visit out-of-pocket (vs fully covered). Grrrrr.

Becky, I would be nervous if I had a girl interested in wrestling, too. Are there many girls that wrestle? Do boys and girls wrestle each other? It's been decades since Scott was in wrestling.

Danielle, that's interesting that the pickle works. I wonder what the science is behind it.


 
andrea m
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andrea m
In response to Luvmyfam

Jen yes he has to have cavitys taken care of.

That dentist office should have aate the charges since they messed up. I cant stand it when dr. do stuff like that.

Glad my card made you buy dies lol. I am guessing it is the paper smooches cloud dies. I think those are the only ones i have.

Stetz we are happy to listen anytime.

The bbq went well. we ran out of burgers though. We bought 80 to cook and did not have enough. Its funny cause i dont know where all these people came from. they dont come watch their kids games. Last night there were only about 5 parents.



Edited by andrea m on 05-03-16 07:35 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
DNA301
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In response to andrea m

Hiya? Today was day two of working with a grumpy trainer...mostly she just belittled my taking notes on everything (um...but then how was I supposed to remember how to do things until I get good at them) and sent me off to do things like finding lost tubes of blood and making sure the pending log (the list of all the work that needs to get done) was clean. Oh and change diluents....I must have changed like 10 boxes of them today and those suckers are heavy!

Becky- There are girl wrestling teams?! That's a new one on me! (Though wrestling isn't exactly a huge sport in this part of NYC).

Stephanie- I'm sorry to hear about the situation with Andrew and how he's feeling towards you. My sister was like that when she was living here. If you didn't talk nicely to her and do everything she wanted and spend ever second listening to her, you had "bad attitude" towards her and she judged you on it. I never did figure out the solution to how to get around that. My mom doesn't want to move from the area because all my grandmother's friends and doctors are here...and my grandmother's 88 and at the point where she can't be alone anymore.

Andrea- My parents, sister, and I all use to go to the same dentist when my sister and I were kids. I guess there are probably kid dentists and adult ones...why not? Anything to make money!

Jen- I'm trying to learn since these machines are one of the biggest parts of the lab. You're not much use to anyone if you can't run them.


 
StarsNSparkles
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In response to DNA301

Good morning! Had a good evening last night...woohoo! I'm trying to learn and do as DH asked, so when A did something that upset me, I immediately dealt with it. I had told him before not to do something and DH agreed and seconded it (this was months ago).

Well, yesterday after seeing that he had done it again (which isn't the first time I seen it), I said to A, I've told you before, do not do this...and again DH agreed and seconded it. Later, I took DH aside and said, you want me to tell you when things bother me rather than hold it in, so I'm going to. You & I have both told him not to do this, but because he doesn't see the point and doesn't agree with it, he just doesn't do it. I don't care if it is the stupidist thing in the world...if we as parents say not to do it, then don't do it. A thinks he can do whatever he wants if he thinks his reasons makes more sense, so just disregards us. DH totally agreed, and said he was going to have a talk with A concerning stuff like this and point out why there seems to be ongoing tension with him.

Jen, lol...I will say my DD differs from yours in the snap area...if I snapped, she might get huffy, but mostly she knows that it isn't her I'm really upset with and just leaves me alone...or sometimes even will ask me what happened at work. On the other hand...I often got the "I don't love her" accusation, but that would stem from not bending over and kissing her butt every time she wanted. LOL on her saying that about having a girl...I'm actually kind of looking forward to DD having one some day...and apologizing to me!! HAHA

We had a choice for health insurance, one option was a lot cheaper on premiums, but the out of pocket costs were pretty high...and the doctors in-network were very few. After calculating that we would be paying max out of pocket due to Gregg's condition, we chose the plan with higher monthly premiums, but much better co-pays and lots more in-network doctors!

As for wrestling here, we do not have any girl wrestling teams. At a meet where there are 10 teams or so, we may see one girl on one of the teams. Usually, it's a forfeit match because there isn't a boy in that low of a weight category.

Andrea, isn't that funny how people always seem to show up when their is food involved? Was it free food? I feel so sorry for kids whose parents don't give a rip!

Ashley...the most important part of working with a hard to work with person, is just kill them with kindness...do what they say no matter how stupid...grumble in your head if you must, but don't let it show on your face! This too shall pass and you won't have to work with them forever! Well, I would think if your parents were that bothered with the living situation, they would do something about it.



 
Becky Scraps
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In response to DNA301

There aren't girls wrestling teams. Girls wrestle with the boys. One of my cousins daughters was doing it for awhile. Most of the time girls only do it when they are young. I think my sister-in-law did it when she was a kid too. Not many wrestle thru high school. I don't think our high school team had any girls but I know some in the state did. One of Trevor's friends has a cousin who is a girl wrestling at the state level and was really good.

Ashley dealing with people like that is going to happen to you no matter where you work.

Andrea I find it so odd when parents don't go to the games. Especially home games.



 
Becky Scraps
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Becky Scraps
In response to Becky Scraps

Stetz I'm glad you had a good night and seemed to work out a way to deal with his issues.


 
andrea m
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andrea m
In response to Becky Scraps

Stetz glad you had a good night and were able to talk to dh right away.

The bbq was a potluck type thing. Another parent and i paid for the 80 hamburgers. everyone else brought condiments, buns, salads and deserts. I know some people did not bring anything. There were a ton of people. We have had a lot of home games and some of these people i had never seen before.

Most places dont have girls wrestling as not enough girls want to wrestle. I know that girls wrestling makes the guys very uncomfortable because of where they have to grab. I have seen guys forfeit and refuse to wrestle. My dh wrestled one girl in high school that was ranked high because most of her matches were forfeits, no one in her class, or guys lost because of being uncomfortable. My dh said if she wanted to wrestle with the guys he would not treat her any different. In their match she ended up with a broken collar bone. She was not really a good enough wrestler to be in that class and had no business there. Then he said people were mad cause she got hurt. Parents need to stop and think before putting any kid in a sport injuries can happen and you have to be prepared for that. Guys should not have to feel they have to go easy on another wrestler that defeats the purpose of the sport.

I know when i sign my kids up for football ans softball that they may get injured. I also make sure they have all the equipment they need to prevent that.


 
southern lady
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southern lady
In response to andrea m

Stetz I'm glad you had a good night

well today is another nice day here. I am try to clean the spare bedrooms and go threw my shoes that I don't wear or don't fit me any more. well I am going to work out and later on take dogs for a walk. we should hit the 80's here in the afternoon here.


 
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