Username Post: Welcome to the Puppies and Rainbow thread....        (Topic#1565201)
scraprabbit
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scraprabbit
In response to madmatter

Love the lab test idea. I got engaged to my high school sweetheart when we were in college. He pressured me - so I did it. TOTALLY regretted it. We ended up breaking up. Met my current dh. Told him about my past (and my feelings about it). We waited until the wedding night. I would've done it earlier, but he insisted that we wait (which is what I originally told him I wanted) so I would not regret it like I did with the other guy. Totally worth it. A tough couple of years though. And, yes, I have a seriously amazing dh.

Oh, and I haven't been around lately - Peg, I'm so sorry for what I read about your FIL. I will be praying for him.


 
Tivi
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  • Tivi on 04-12-12 05:24 PM
In response to scraprabbit

Back on my soapbox for just a moment...

Lab Test:

If you don't feel strong enough or empowered enough to ask for a clean bill of health, how can you possibly justify giving yourself so completely to someone else?

Or is it just another physcial activity with no emotion attached?


Edited by Tivi on 04-12-12 05:25 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
Luvmyfam
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In response to Tivi

Good evening.

Melissa, I'm so glad that I'm not the only person who loves to smell paper . I'm bummed that I missed the sale, but it's probably for the best!


 
ScrappyMama6
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In response to Tivi

  • Tivi Said:
Back on my soapbox for just a moment...

Lab Test:

If you don't feel strong enough or empowered enough to ask for a clean bill of health, how can you possibly justify giving yourself so completely to someone else?

Or is it just another physcial activity with no emotion attached?







Yep. Most of the time, IMHO anyway. And unless its an abusive situation, I think the woman ALWAYS holds the advantage in a sexual relationship. We have the power to hold the kitty hostage until we get what we want.


 
NMlady
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In response to ScrappyMama6

Unless they decide to go elsewhere. I don't think using sex as a way to get what you want is conducive to a good relationship.


 
kelseymel
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In response to NMlady

Interesting topic.

20 years ago I didn't give a rip about respect, love, etc. I'm one of those "it's just s*x" people.

I won't be telling my daughter to "save herself for marriage" because I think it's a slippery slope. It's a major part of a relationship and if you aren't compatible then it can cause a lot of stress. New marriage is hard enough without the added stress of a boring bedroom.

(Of course I'm not going to encourage her to sleep around either, the choice will ultimately be hers.)

If I were a single parent I certainly wouldn't make my bedroom business known to my children. It's a moot point, though. The thought of dating makes me want to throw up.


 
ScrappyMama6
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In response to NMlady

  • NMlady Said:
Unless they decide to go elsewhere. I don't think using sex as a way to get what you want is conducive to a good relationship.





Huh, maybe thats what Ive been doing wrong all this time......


 
Just G
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In response to Tivi

  • Tivi Said:
Steve Harvey the comedian/actor?

I think waiting until you know each well enough to ask for a lab test is sufficient.

Seriously, too many girls and women hop into the sack too soon. Nancy is right - a "good guy" will wait until doomsday if that's what it takes. If you think s*x will hold onto a guy, you have bigger issues than can be resolved in a scrapbook forum. Just because a guy buys dinner or sports tickets or whatever, does NOT mean you have to put out.

And if there are children involved, they SEE EVERYTHING. If they see mom jumping in the sack with every guy that says Hi, well, heartbreak (or worse) all around. Single parenting is hard, that one parent has the MOST influence over the child. The parent may be mature enough to rationalize his/her actions, but a child is not.

Off my soapbox now.



I totally agree with the lab test idea...but if you CAN'T hold out protect yourself. I get tested regularly because of the amount of times my ex cheated on me. I know most of the issues would pop up back then but there are one or two that can take years (HIV, Hep, etc). My last boyfriend was tested as well.

Sex doesn't make a relationship ... it can cause it to seem like 'love' with all the hormones but it's just infatuation.

I'd rather have a guy break up with me because I won't sleep with him...shows who he really was. And it wouldn't feel near as bad as if I had. And believe it or not MEN are worse than teen boys about pressuring women because they seem to think that it's ok for adults to just be carefree and that sex makes a relationship more serious

It's bull.

I was with my HS sweetheart for 3 years (no joke) before we had sex. We broke up a few times in between and he was getting it elsewhere lol but I waited. I made my ex husband wait a while as well. he said that's what made him want to marry me.


 
Just G
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In response to NMlady

  • NMlady Said:
Unless they decide to go elsewhere. I don't think using sex as a way to get what you want is conducive to a good relationship.



I don't think sex makes a relationship anymore serious...but i don't think people deciding to get involved quick from time to time isn't wrong. It's up to the couple. But a woman does stand to lose alot by giving in too soon.

In college I had the attitude of "it's just sex" when my HS sweetheart and I broke up and he got engaged to someone who was 'more experienced'
But i learned my lesson


 
Just G
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In response to 950nancy

  • 950nancy Said:
Was watching Steve Harvey. He wrote a book about how women can figure out a man's motives. Said he wrote it for his daughters. It is called something like "Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man." Supposed to have some good info in it (saw him on Oprah and some other talk shows promoting it awhile back). The thing I remember the most was that he told women to not sleep with a man for at least three months after dating begins. Says it gives away your power. Also gives you time to figure out if the guy wants a toy or a girlfriend. A couple of my friends said no way to waiting 3 months. Guy will lose interest. I dunno, a good guy would probably wait. What do you guys think?



I can't wait to see that movie


 
pugs223
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In response to Just G

Hello

After very scary news yesterday that FIL developed pneumonia and they still didn't remove tubes and wake up....HE IS AWAKE and sitting up in a chair It was not what I expected at all when going to the hospital today. He was very loopy and laughing when I got there. I missed the part where he was yelling at everyone and calling the nurses names.

I'm hoping it's still the medicine, but he is insisting that he is not married to his current wife. I feel bad for her and kept telling her it's just the medicine and his brain is refiling all of his memories.

Anyway, just wanted to share the good news. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. We will feel much better when he is moved out of ICU, but today feels like we won the lottery.


 
kelseymel
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In response to pugs223

AWESOME, Peg!!

I hope he's able to fill in the holes quickly, keep us updated on his progress!


 
Just G
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In response to pugs223

  • pugs223 Said:
Hello

After very scary news yesterday that FIL developed pneumonia and they still didn't remove tubes and wake up....HE IS AWAKE and sitting up in a chair It was not what I expected at all when going to the hospital today. He was very loopy and laughing when I got there. I missed the part where he was yelling at everyone and calling the nurses names.

I'm hoping it's still the medicine, but he is insisting that he is not married to his current wife. I feel bad for her and kept telling her it's just the medicine and his brain is refiling all of his memories.

Anyway, just wanted to share the good news. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. We will feel much better when he is moved out of ICU, but today feels like we won the lottery.


So sorry to hear...it could also be a lack of oxygen due to the pneumonia and the anesthesia affect on the brain from the surgery. Give him some time. Hopefully he's not having other issues. Will they do a CT scan of his head?

Praying for him.


 
Just G
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In response to Tivi

  • Tivi Said:
Back on my soapbox for just a moment...

Or is it just another physcial activity with no emotion attached?



Honestly I can't get into it if I don't feel an emotional connection to someone. But I know many men and women that keep that attitude of "just get yours" because they're AFRAID to feel something and get hurt. What they don't realize is that they are keeping themselves hurt because no one is going to respect them enough and they are keeping themselves alone


 
kelseymel
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kelseymel
In response to Just G

  • Just G Said:
  • Tivi Said:
Back on my soapbox for just a moment...

Or is it just another physcial activity with no emotion attached?



Honestly I can't get into it if I don't feel an emotional connection to someone. But I know many men and women that keep that attitude of "just get yours" because they're AFRAID to feel something and get hurt. What they don't realize is that they are keeping themselves hurt because no one is going to respect them enough and they are keeping themselves alone



Isn't it possible for someone (male or female) to just do it because it feels good and it's fun? I've known lots of people like that and I don't think it was because of fear, poor self esteem, or lack of self respect.

I think it's great that people want/need an emotional connection to do the deed, but to assume people who don't need/want that connection are somehow flawed is misguided.


 
950nancy
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In response to kelseymel

  • kelseymel Said:
Interesting topic.

20 years ago I didn't give a rip about respect, love, etc. I'm one of those "it's just s*x" people.

I won't be telling my daughter to "save herself for marriage" because I think it's a slippery slope. It's a major part of a relationship and if you aren't compatible then it can cause a lot of stress. New marriage is hard enough without the added stress of a boring bedroom.

(Of course I'm not going to encourage her to sleep around either, the choice will ultimately be hers.)

If I were a single parent I certainly wouldn't make my bedroom business known to my children. It's a moot point, though. The thought of dating makes me want to throw up.




Where were you when I was growing up???


 
950nancy
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In response to kelseymel

  • kelseymel Said:
  • Just G Said:
  • Tivi Said:
Back on my soapbox for just a moment...

Or is it just another physcial activity with no emotion attached?



Honestly I can't get into it if I don't feel an emotional connection to someone. But I know many men and women that keep that attitude of "just get yours" because they're AFRAID to feel something and get hurt. What they don't realize is that they are keeping themselves hurt because no one is going to respect them enough and they are keeping themselves alone



Isn't it possible for someone (male or female) to just do it because it feels good and it's fun? I've known lots of people like that and I don't think it was because of fear, poor self esteem, or lack of self respect.


I think it's great that people want/need an emotional connection to do the deed, but to assume people who don't need/want that connection are somehow flawed is misguided.








I think all involved just need to know the situation. I know plenty of women that just love sex.


 
Just G
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In response to kelseymel

  • kelseymel Said:
  • Just G Said:
  • Tivi Said:
Back on my soapbox for just a moment...

Or is it just another physcial activity with no emotion attached?



Honestly I can't get into it if I don't feel an emotional connection to someone. But I know many men and women that keep that attitude of "just get yours" because they're AFRAID to feel something and get hurt. What they don't realize is that they are keeping themselves hurt because no one is going to respect them enough and they are keeping themselves alone



Isn't it possible for someone (male or female) to just do it because it feels good and it's fun? I've known lots of people like that and I don't think it was because of fear, poor self esteem, or lack of self respect.

I think it's great that people want/need an emotional connection to do the deed, but to assume people who don't need/want that connection are somehow flawed is misguided.




Nothing wrong with it at all...i'm saying a lot of people CHOOSE to keep it 'business' and everyone I know that way is trying to numb something inside by keeping it physical only. that's just MY observation

I don't need emotion but if you have a connection with someone and develop trust it gets much better. I personally don't 'bring my A game" if i am not in a relationship LMAO.


Edited by Just G on 04-14-12 01:25 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
Just G
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In response to scraprabbit

  • scraprabbit Said:
Love the lab test idea. I got engaged to my high school sweetheart when we were in college. He pressured me - so I did it. TOTALLY regretted it. We ended up breaking up. Met my current dh. Told him about my past (and my feelings about it). We waited until the wedding night. I would've done it earlier, but he insisted that we wait (which is what I originally told him I wanted) so I would not regret it like I did with the other guy. Totally worth it. A tough couple of years though. And, yes, I have a seriously amazing dh.

Oh, and I haven't been around lately - Peg, I'm so sorry for what I read about your FIL. I will be praying for him.



love the new avi! Little Man is getting so big



 
950nancy
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950nancy
In response to Just G

Bottom line- sex means so many different people.



A ha! Didn't proofread that carefully. Meant to say sex means so many different things to different people.


Edited by 950nancy on 04-14-12 01:59 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
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