I agree with you Deb. It could very well make your relationship stronger as well as help you both appreciate your time together. Maybe even do household things together knowing you don't have as much time together. I'm sure you miss a little alone time too. Everyone needs it. Good luck. You are a smart lady with a great head on your shoulders. I appreciate that you feel you can express yourself to us:)
Yes Debbie!!!! I'm glad you decided to share! I enjoyed talking with you yesterday though! You are always so funny!
Shana...divorced and remarried! How romantic to fall back in love!!!!
You can just check in here Shana when you can about the packages. And you can also let me know through PM as you receive your boxes.
Anyone who is still missing boxes or haven't heard from their own little sisters about receiving boxes, stay on here and keep me posted. Thanks
I was very luck inthe love department. I knew my DH for a number of years, in fact set him up with my single GFs because he was a great catch. When I finally said enough is enough to my ex and kicked him out I had not even talked to my current DH for several months so he had no idea what was happening in my life. Ran into him about a month after I asked for a devorice and had coffee with him to bring him up to speed. I was not interested in dating or men at all at that time and made sure he knew it, LOL. He stepped in and helped with my move, taking care of my kids while I worked as there was a "no contact order" on my ex and a total of 13 charges against him because he just could not let me go and leave me or my friends alone. It was my kids that told me and encourage me to go out on a date with him. It was nice we were friends before we got involved because we knew the worst things about each other and it did not affect our relationship. He proposed and as soon my devorice was final we got married. It was truely ment to be and I have always said that you need to marry your best friend and luckly that is what I did the second time around. I finally got it right and can see us growing old together. We very rarely fight or have nasty things to say to each other, when we do tends to involve the ex some how LOL. Totally different then the first time around, like night and day! So Love can happen again and I believe with all my heart and soul that I have married my true Love and Soulmate!
Deb. I definitely think yours and johns decision shows the strength of your relationship. For you two to talk about it and reach a decision like that and still be together is admirable! I think most people would freak out and wonder what is wrong and end it all.
I always compare life to sex and the city or friends. In this case I think of sex and the city. I always admired the way Carrie was so strong and always spoke up for herself. I would probably stay in a situation I'm not exactly extatic about just because I don't want to be in a confrontation. I'd totally avoid the subject.
I'm positive that your decision will only make your relationship stronger... And like you said if it doesn't work out in the end, then it wasn't meant to be.
Wow, thank you ladies for the support!! Shana, you love story is so sweet and romantic!! Isn't it wonderful to be so happy? I'm glad everything has worked out so wonderfully for both of you!!
Imelda, stand for yourself girl!! John is actually the first man that I feel I can speak freely around. My husband never wanted to discuss anything. He was a 'go along' kind of guy. Then he'd explode on occasion. I grew used to it over the years but I always longed to discuss things openly and honestly with him.
Tina, thank you for the nice compliments and words of encouragement.
Morning Deb - I was a bit behind on all this, but I can see how both of you need some time apart. John needs to know that being with you is a choice hes making and not just an easy option of being looked after. You were alone for a while and I know how easy it is to get into your routine - not cook if you dont want to - wear your pjs all day if you do want to - etc, and then all of a sudden you're thinking about what he might want!
I have the best of all worlds with Neil travelling. I do have a frantic job, and I can work late and not worry about coming home, checking in with you guys, then going to bed! On a week when hes home all week, I really have to rethink my whole life - remember to cook in the evenings, come home a little earlier etc etc - and I dont get to scrap so much when he's around!
So there is a happy medium. I also know that Neil always felt that when he moved in with me, it was the house that belonged to me and my ex - even though it was 3 years since the ex had moved out! It made all the difference when we got OUR place - belonging to both of us and no history. I know moving can be a wrench but it definitely marks the spot of moving on from the past - I'm sure you and John could think about that too.
Thats my two-penny-worth!
You are a fabulous couple, and I know this must have taken some thinking through, so you both made a brave move. Let him come and cook for you now!
Rachel you really put that living alone thing in to perspective. You really do have the best of both worlds!!! I LOVE my time alone. When Bruce used to have his business of building Tiki Huts he was all over the state for days at a time. On a few occasions he was out of the state. He built one in Wyoming and at a zoo in Kentucky. Even once in the Bahamas. That's when I told you about me going there for a few days.
Once the boys got older and they were out of school for the summer or breaks he's take them. That was heaven. I didn't do scrapping then but it was me, Ben, Jerry and a movie. LOL!! OR I'd take myself to a movie.
About the house thing....It's a little different since Bruce has passed and has no claim to this house or property. John truly loves it here. I'm serious Rachel, and I'm not bragging but I have the most beautiful piece of property with the coolest house in the perfect area. LOL!!! How's that for NOT bragging. But honestly its paradise here. Or almost. Maybe after the pool gets uncovered. LOL!! It's just one of those places that you'd be hard pressed to replace. In fact due to the perfect location of it, you probably never could.
Last night John and I talked again. I told him, 'I think you've been miserable so long you just don't know what happy is or how to be happy.' He said, and I quote, "I think you're right. Maybe I need to be miserable by myself to appreciate how wonderful you are."
I am so proud to call you a friend, Deb! You two sound like you are doing a great job of working together to find the perfect situation--something that will be right for you both. That takes a lot of courage and strength, and I am glad that you are taking it one step at a time and working on it TOGETHER. I envy John's expressiveness! Something I have a hard time dealing with is Kayla's lack of expressiveness! She has a hard time sharing what she is thinking or feeling. And that just makes things terribly difficult for me because I crave that feedback and the trust that is built when you share who you are. It is so much easier when you don't have to guess what the other person wants and they just tell you! It can still be hard and hurt to hear it sometimes, but at least you know what is really going on...Do you hear some of my relationship issues coming up? UGH! This move (which we now do not only not know WHERE we are moving, but the WHEN is starting to be questionable too....) is taking its toll on both of us and us as a couple. I will have to try to articulate it better after I have journaled about it. But your relationship gives me hope Deb, bc you communicate and make decisions that are hard, but you still love each other and you are working through the difficult stuff! I hope you have a lovely rest of the week Thank you sooo much for sharing. It really just means so much that you ladies share your lives.
Megan I hope everything works out for you. I really admire the way you work out your stress. I wish I could be more reflective.
Anyway hope everything works out with you and Kayla and that you find out soon where and when you are going.
Megan just remember moving is just a small hill in your relationship. We moved 8 times in 15 years. I dropped out of college three times and delivered our three boys during it all. Once you get moved and settled life will be good again:)
Megan, thank you so much!! You are so expressive for such a young person. Not only expressive, but intelligent about it to.
Bruce, my husband, was like that but we were together for 24 years. I got used to it over time. Didn't make it easy but I did get used to it. Of course he kept a lot inside which led to what he did in the end.
I need to be more like you and learn to journal about my thoughts. After being with Bruce for so long I do bury some thoughts and never really thought about journaling them. Something for the smash book. LOL!!
I haven't received my final package yet but I'm not too worried. Shana sent me some wonderful stuff in the past packages and I am still loving my notebook.
Sorry I dropped out of the chatter. I thought I was back in a position to be fully involved again but then I added something new to my plate and just got busy.
I'm happy though. I asked everyone I know to pray for me back in September because I was in a really bad place, especially in my spiritual life. I was a little disappointed because I was expecting to get some immediate answers and it didn't happen. However, slowly over the next few months things started to happen. I started getting more involved in my new church and volunteered to help out with the children's ministry and found that there really wasn't much structure to it so now I have volunteered to take it over. I am loving it and am really excited about what we are working towards but it is a LOT of work. It's provided much more fulfillment than I had back in September so even though my prayers weren't answered the next day, they were answered better than I ever would have imagined.
Kimberly I know you are watch this thread for any up dates. I want you to know I sent a pm to Megan Ann for the wonderful large gift she sent me in a little envie. You will understand once I explain.
Megan Ann and I belong to an envie swap so I thought that was what I was opening until I started pulling everything out and it did not match what we were supose to send this month. She sent me 5 sets of Spellbinder dies, Tim Holtz ornate plates and 2 new stitching heads for my sew easy, Love and the Hearts one. All this she managed to mail in an 4*6 envie I believe the size is. You can imagine my amazement at all I pulled out. It was a most wonderful surprise and a great package, I truly feel spoiled by her. Thank you for arranging angels for me.
This is the first package I have received from this swap, I expect the one you had placed in the mail to arrive this week too.