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Username Post: How do you tell your mom to take a hike?        (Topic#1574009)
angie girl
Diva
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Joined: 11-16-07
angie girl
In response to kelseymel

  • kelseymel Said:
We don't. We (well, most of us) completely get where you're coming from. I'm glad it worked out painlessly.




THIS! It's not like you meant "take a hike" for the rest of your life. Most of us understood that. It's hard setting boundaries with parents because it makes us feel like we're parenting our parents. Hope that makes sense! Glad it all worked out well, though.


 
ScrappyMama6
Mayor
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Joined: 06-28-10
ScrappyMama6
In response to Kit Scrapo

  • Nautolan Said:
lol, you know... i wouldn't have a problem with it if she was really old and crazy, like my grandma was... but she's not. She's young enough to not be crazy yet. And I would never say... take a hike to her... thats why i was trying to find a nice way to avoid the pain, not so much for me... but for my inlaws. I deal with her all the time, I love her and spend time with her. I just wanted to give my inlaws some good time with their grandkids without my mom trying to steal the spotlight and take all the attention away... which she did, just very briefly... thank god.

I LOVE MY CRAZY MOTHER!!!! Please don't think I am an @ss hole.






I get it, I deal with my MIL (who really is crazy) all the time-hello 2 miles away, but if someone who doesnt get to see the kids often comes to visit, I distance she and them, for everyone's sake. We get it. Your inlaws deserve exclusivity with the grands when they come. Oh, and BTW not all of us turn into our Mothers, Ive become the exact opposite of mine, thank goodness!


 
madmatter
Diva
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Joined: 12-19-08
madmatter
In response to ScrappyMama6

No one thinks you're an a-hole ...

My mom died 7 years ago, and I miss her every single day, but there were plenty of times she drove me crazy ... wanting time with your in-laws without your Mom does NOT make you a bad daughter


 
Luvmyfam
Governor
Posts: 21681
Joined: 12-30-05
Luvmyfam
In response to madmatter

I think you are being a very good daughter and DIL. Just like we have to set up boundaries for our kids, we sometimes have to set them up for our parents.


 
fknapoleon
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Joined: 07-16-04
fknapoleon
In response to Luvmyfam

Just because you come here asking for suggestions, doesn't make you a rude person in the least. It makes you a good daughter and daughter in law. You are entitled to make an off-the-cuff remark in a completely innocent way.
If we constantly worried about offending our parents at the slightest hint of an off-collar comment, we'd never have time to make them proud of us.


 
Kit Scrapo
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Joined: 01-14-12
Kit Scrapo
In response to fknapoleon

  • Kendraj78 Said:
Just because you come here asking for suggestions, doesn't make you a rude person in the least. It makes you a good daughter and daughter in law. You are entitled to make an off-the-cuff remark in a completely innocent way.
If we constantly worried about offending our parents at the slightest hint of an off-collar comment, we'd never have time to make them proud of us.



fantastic way of putting it... i was just commenting because i didn't literally mean "take a hike" it was more of a way to get poster's attention on the threads... i needed feed back.

I'm sorry, but my mom just drives me nuts, and it is hard being her daughter in our family, because no one really likes her. She is kind of the family snob. It was only since I became an adult myself that i realized that other people felt this way. As i child i always thought that that was the way to be. I am now figuring out that i dont really want to be like her, i want to be like me.


 
Luvmyfam
Governor
Posts: 21681
Joined: 12-30-05
Luvmyfam
In response to Kit Scrapo

Nicole, you should pat yourself on the back for wanting to be you and for figuring the things out about your mother. I've watched my nieces and nephews grow up with a very snobby mother and I've watched them decide to take a better road. With my own kids, I always tell them to take the best of my DH and me and to leave the garbage-examples we set in the garbage. Not that we purposely set bad examples.....we don't.....but everyone has their faults.

Personally, I took the title "take a hike" as a funny way to interject humor into an otherwise annoying situation.


 
CommaHolly
Angel
Posts: 69245
Joined: 01-30-09
CommaHolly
In response to NMlady

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mom,,,,,,,,they won't be here long enough to visit with anyone. Maybe next time."


 
Ohio4HMom
Expert
Posts: 1357
Joined: 09-12-05
Ohio4HMom
In response to Kit Scrapo

  • Nautolan Said:
  • Kendraj78 Said:
Just because you come here asking for suggestions, doesn't make you a rude person in the least. It makes you a good daughter and daughter in law. You are entitled to make an off-the-cuff remark in a completely innocent way.
If we constantly worried about offending our parents at the slightest hint of an off-collar comment, we'd never have time to make them proud of us.



fantastic way of putting it... i was just commenting because i didn't literally mean "take a hike" it was more of a way to get poster's attention on the threads... i needed feed back.

I'm sorry, but my mom just drives me nuts, and it is hard being her daughter in our family, because no one really likes her. She is kind of the family snob. It was only since I became an adult myself that i realized that other people felt this way. As i child i always thought that that was the way to be. I am now figuring out that i dont really want to be like her, i want to be like me.



and maybe this was how your mom was raised and its the only way she knows...


 
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