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Username Post: Discouraged.        (Topic#1580207)
m.perk
m.perk 
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m.perk

This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


 
Expert
Posts: 893
Joined: 02-25-11
In response to m.perk

I believe in the concept of "We all need to agree to disagree." Different thoughts and opinions are fine, as long as they are stated in a respectful manner.


 
Hey Jude
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Hey Jude
In response to deedee49

  • deedee49 Said:
I believe in the concept of "We all need to agree to disagree." Different thoughts and opinions are fine, as long as they are stated in a respectful manner.


I wish there was a 'like' button. Agreed 100%.


 
CrimsonMama
Mayor
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CrimsonMama
In response to m.perk

Hmm, I guess I have missed this mostly but, folks should be able to state a different opinion without being nasty about it. If we all had the same ideas and likes, all of our LO's would look just alike and there would be no purpose in this forum.

Don't let them make you stay away.


 
GIGIGI30
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Posts: 1198
Joined: 01-18-12
GIGIGI30
In response to m.perk

  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.




Finally....Someone who can read my mind!! That's the main reason I keep my thoughts to myself or look elsewhere 'till I found my answer. It's so sad that sometimes you just want to ask a simple question 'bout something and wonder if is going to be taken out of context and make a big commotion out of nothing and you ended up not doing it. Unfortunately some people in here, and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone, don't take the time to stop and smell the roses and are just sitting there waiting to attack like a pack of hungry wolves.

I went through this the other day when I sent a group PM to let people know about a sale that was going on for the images on the Silhouette Cameo store. My intentions were to enable people and spread the news and I even stated on my message that I wasn't getting anything in return. Guess what? I received a nasty message from someone. So right and there, I decided not to ask or say anything anymore.


 
t-scraps
Expert
Posts: 1076
Joined: 03-08-11
t-scraps
In response to GIGIGI30

Don't get mad or stay away, just feel sorry for them. Think about it like this, they must be so awfully unhappy and miserable with their own lives, the only way they feel better is to make disparaging remarks about someone else.


 
pamela.tx
Guru
Posts: 2978
Joined: 02-23-12
pamela.tx
In response to GIGIGI30

  • GIGIGI30 Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.




Finally....Someone who can read my mind!! That's the main reason I keep my thoughts to myself or look elsewhere 'till I found my answer. It's so sad that sometimes you just want to ask a simple question 'bout something and wonder if is going to be taken out of context and make a big commotion out of nothing and you ended up not doing it. Unfortunately some people in here, and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone, don't take the time to stop and smell the roses and are just sitting there waiting to attack like a pack of hungry wolves.

I went through this the other day when I sent a group PM to let people know about a sale that was going on for the images on the Silhouette Cameo store. My intentions were to enable people and spread the news and I even stated on my message that I wasn't getting anything in return. Guess what? I received a nasty message from someone. So right and there, I decided not to ask or say anything anymore.



I have to agree with you. I don't really like to post too much because of this same reason. I have literally been called a snob and have been attacked for stating my opinion. For this reason, I mainly just read some of the posts and don't chime in too often.

Some people do have a tendency to take things totally out of context and make something out of nothing. It's a shame, really. Just a few days ago, some poor girl got bashed for being excited about getting a good deal on shipping.




 
bigredssw
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Posts: 87
Joined: 06-15-11
bigredssw
In response to t-scraps

Unfortunately, this happens often on lots of forums. I used to belong to another major SB forum that was so much fun until people started sniping at each other and all the fun (and expert) people who had been members from the beginning got disgusted and quit. I don't understand why in the world we can't all get along...the purpose of the forum is to help each other, not to judge and criticize!! I agree with t-scraps...they must be very unhappy to even do it in the first place.


 
pamela.tx
Guru
Posts: 2978
Joined: 02-23-12
pamela.tx
In response to bigredssw

It's a shame that some of these "expert" people here are doing some of bashing though. I think if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. I guess some people forget this is not a debate session. This is simply a place where people come together to share the love of scrapbooking, to learn new things, and inspire others.



 
Bev1
Bev1 
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Bev1
  • Bev1 on 08-30-12 07:04 AM
In response to bigredssw

Some people aren't happy unless they can find something to gripe about,ignore this and keep on .oing!Some just like to stir things up.Enjoy this fun hobby and this forum and simply overlook these trouble makers.


 
shortmouse
Veteran
Posts: 334
Joined: 01-31-12
shortmouse
In response to pamela.tx

I tell my daughter every time she reads me certain message on "CafeMom" that their are some people who aren't happy unless they are mean.


 
m.perk
m.perk 
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m.perk
In response to shortmouse

I am glad I am not the only person who has noticed this. I will read some things, but I wont chime in and I rarely ask questions or opinions. It was completely different when I first signed up on here. I don't understand why people have to live and breathe off of drama! It is very unfortunate!


 
CommaHolly
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CommaHolly
In response to m.perk

I think we need to remember you can't read tone of voice online. It's allowable to disagree,,,,I also think it depends on what you mean by "hounded". If they are free to state their opinion, then I am free to disagree

if someone states that A is the best way to scrapbook, why is it permissable for them to state their opinion, but not for ME to state that I prefer method B??

I think sometimes, we read tone of voice into a post that isn't there Respect is important,,no doubt about it


 
whateveriwant
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Posts: 208
Joined: 06-30-07
whateveriwant
In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
I think we need to remember you can't read tone of voice online. It's allowable to disagree,,,,I also think it depends on what you mean by "hounded". If they are free to state their opinion, then I am free to disagree

if someone states that A is the best way to scrapbook, why is it permissable for them to state their opinion, but not for ME to state that I prefer method B??

I think sometimes, we read tone of voice into a post that isn't there Respect is important,,no doubt about it



I think this forum is increasingly hostile to newbies or people that post things that have been posted before. Like this recent comment for example:

  • Quote:
And who cares? Well, I guess the OP does, but I don't think anybody else cares about what "style" people scrap. There's just no purpose to it.

People here get super mad when talking about certain styles so I'd just leave it alone.



When people post things and others reply with "who cares?" I don't think there's any mistaking the tone.

Also, when people post common themed topics, some regulars seem to just go nuts telling them "we already talked about this so many times" or "this is old news" or whatever. Yeah, that's the nature of online community. We already know the search function here stinks so why would we expect new people to be able to use it to find all the threads that mention what they want to know?

Just seems to me lately that there are folks who want to be argumentative instead of helpful.


 
CommaHolly
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Joined: 01-30-09
CommaHolly
In response to whateveriwant

I agree that people could be more patient sometimes,,,,,but since I have no idea what thread that quote came off, it's really hard for me to comment.


 
whateveriwant
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Joined: 06-30-07
whateveriwant
In response to CommaHolly

It's now called "nevermind" and on the 2nd page.


 
CommaHolly
Angel
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CommaHolly
In response to whateveriwant

I think most people try to be nice. I'd ignore the ones you feel aren't nice.


 
Bxr-Linda
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Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to CommaHolly

I think sometimes the "this has been discussed a million times before" comment is more to let the poster know that perhaps they won't get any/many responses.

After I've answered the same question several times, it becomes easier to just point to a prior thread on the topic.

The other approach would be to simply ignore and not respond AT ALL to those repeat questions.

You know, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That's helpful.


 
whateveriwant
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Posts: 208
Joined: 06-30-07
whateveriwant
In response to Bxr-Linda

The thing is, some of them aren't really repeat questions. They are just slightly similar and once people see those "buzz words" they shut them down with "everyone's tired of talking about this" and expect it to be done with.

I don't know, I just think there has been an especially trolly/edgy vibe lately that started with the long thread (about ground zero) that got mopped. Seems like it goes in cycles and we're in one.


 
m.perk
m.perk 
Governor
Posts: 21684
Joined: 03-11-07
m.perk
In response to whateveriwant

I wish there was a like button on some of these comments......maybe a good way to put it as well is it seems some people get very argumentative. I do believe it is very hard to read tone, but some of it is very distinguishable. And I agree about the newbies getting a short end of the stick. It doesnt seem fair all the time!


 
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