Page 2 of 22 
Username Post: Discouraged.        (Topic#1580207)
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to whateveriwant

  • whateveriwant Said:
The thing is, some of them aren't really repeat questions. They are just slightly similar and once people see those "buzz words" they shut them down with "everyone's tired of talking about this" and expect it to be done with.

I don't know, I just think there has been an especially trolly/edgy vibe lately that started with the long thread (about ground zero) that got mopped. Seems like it goes in cycles and we're in one.



I agree that there are certain buzz words that can set people off. I don't agree with there being a vibe of trollishness here. There was a lot of poorly chosen phrases in the thread that you are referencing that offended many different people for many different reasons discussing a topic that is incredibly sensitive for too many people. And as CommaHolly said, an internet forum conveys no tone of voice, no body language clues, just the words.


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
I think we need to remember you can't read tone of voice online. It's allowable to disagree,,,,I also think it depends on what you mean by "hounded". If they are free to state their opinion, then I am free to disagree

if someone states that A is the best way to scrapbook, why is it permissable for them to state their opinion, but not for ME to state that I prefer method B??

I think sometimes, we read tone of voice into a post that isn't there Respect is important,,no doubt about it



What she said!

Reading tone is the biggest thing. I know I can interpret the same post different ways depending on the mood I'm in. Then take into consideration we don't know the mood of the other person PLUS most of us are strangers so we don't know if someone typically says something with sarcasm, an eyeroll or just a "you're a dummy" tone.


 
stick
stick 
Mayor
Posts: 13195
Joined: 05-01-09
stick
  • stick on 08-30-12 10:58 AM
In response to pugs223

Holly's point about not being able to read tone online is so important. The written language is challenging for a lot of people. How we speak aloud does not always translate word for word into a written sentence or paragraph that has the same meaning and tone - especially when we employ slang, colloquialisms, and cultural and regional phrasing and understanding, both in our own writing and in our reading of other people's posts.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen people get majorly offended at something that I could only see was a total misinterpretation of tone and language.

Of course there are trolls, and meanies, and people who's panties are permanently wadded, and I'm sure each of us has our own moments at times, but most of the time people are at least civil.


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
I think sometimes the "this has been discussed a million times before" comment is more to let the poster know that perhaps they won't get any/many responses.

After I've answered the same question several times, it becomes easier to just point to a prior thread on the topic.

The other approach would be to simply ignore and not respond AT ALL to those repeat questions.

You know, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That's helpful.



There is this incredibly kind poster who has been known to link several threads regarding a repeat topic.

Some have said that is incredibly rude, it's not answering the question, just posting links.

I found it helpful when I was new and didn't know how to search forum topics like I do now.

Sometimes, you can't win.


 
Tivi
Tivi 
Diva
Posts: 6346
Joined: 09-11-07
Tivi
  • Tivi on 08-30-12 11:04 AM
In response to whateveriwant

  • whateveriwant Said:
  • CommaHolly Said:
I think we need to remember you can't read tone of voice online. It's allowable to disagree,,,,I also think it depends on what you mean by "hounded". If they are free to state their opinion, then I am free to disagree

if someone states that A is the best way to scrapbook, why is it permissable for them to state their opinion, but not for ME to state that I prefer method B??

I think sometimes, we read tone of voice into a post that isn't there Respect is important,,no doubt about it



I think this forum is increasingly hostile to newbies or people that post things that have been posted before. Like this recent comment for example:

  • Quote:
And who cares? Well, I guess the OP does, but I don't think anybody else cares about what "style" people scrap. There's just no purpose to it.

People here get super mad when talking about certain styles so I'd just leave it alone.



When people post things and others reply with "who cares?" I don't think there's any mistaking the tone.

Also, when people post common themed topics, some regulars seem to just go nuts telling them "we already talked about this so many times" or "this is old news" or whatever. Yeah, that's the nature of online community. We already know the search function here stinks so why would we expect new people to be able to use it to find all the threads that mention what they want to know?

Just seems to me lately that there are folks who want to be argumentative instead of helpful.



My first instinct was to ignore this thread - people have different opinions on everything, that's life.

Then, I read further.

Quoting posts out of context, quoting from a different thread, and not citing the member who posted it are all fuel for an arguement. At first glance, one could assume that CommaHolly posted that "who cares" remark.

If *you* thought the comment was rude, first report the post to Megan and her mop, second DON'T QUOTE IT IN ANOTHER THREAD.


 
mrsdriver5
Diva
Posts: 6095
Joined: 07-31-10
mrsdriver5
In response to pugs223

I agree that posting links to answer "repeat" questions is a great way to give a good answer. Some questions, like "how do you organize your paper" have been asked repeatedly, but if you're new to scrapping, it's a new question to you. How discouraging to be given a snippy answer, but it's also aggravating to type the same thing over and over in reply and eventually the answers get a little sparse.

Searching can sometimes give so many answers that don't really apply and again, for a newbie, it gets discouraging. It seems like we should be encouraging others to enjoy this hobby. Even the pros were newbies, asking "silly questions" at some point~Judy


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14613
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to mrsdriver5

Forgive me. I have a short attention span, and am easily distracted by shiny things. WHAT is this thread about, again??





 
Hey Jude
Veteran
Posts: 717
Joined: 06-20-06
Hey Jude
In response to mrsdriver5

  • mrsdriver5 Said:
I agree that posting links to answer "repeat" questions is a great way to give a good answer. Some questions, like "how do you organize your paper" have been asked repeatedly, but if you're new to scrapping, it's a new question to you. How discouraging to be given a snippy answer, but it's also aggravating to type the same thing over and over in reply and eventually the answers get a little sparse.

Searching can sometimes give so many answers that don't really apply and again, for a newbie, it gets discouraging. It seems like we should be encouraging others to enjoy this hobby. Even the pros were newbies, asking "silly questions" at some point~Judy



Right on!


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
Forgive me. I have a short attention span, and am easily distracted by shiny things. WHAT is this thread about, again??







I think it's about how people get discouraged by others' bickering...which then started a discussion about tone, posting links, repetitive questions and.....SQUIRRELL!!!


 
m.perk
m.perk 
Governor
Posts: 21684
Joined: 03-11-07
m.perk
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
Forgive me. I have a short attention span, and am easily distracted by shiny things. WHAT is this thread about, again??







And if I am reading this tone correctly, which I think I am....EXACTLY!


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to m.perk

Please, don't encourage them. They've been snapping and chittering and chasing each other around the porch all day making quite the racket...oh, wait. it's a generic squirrel and not the two who hang out on my porch...

nevermind.


 
mrsdriver5
Diva
Posts: 6095
Joined: 07-31-10
mrsdriver5
In response to Bxr-Linda

I didn't forget what the original thread was, but like most threads, they tend to wander. As far as what the OP was referring to...I agree, but I've been chalking it up to hot weather and moms being more than ready to send the kids back to school. Don't get me wrong on that either...I loved having my kids home for the summer, but oh...that peace and quiet on their first day back to school...lol ~Judy


Edited by mrsdriver5 on 08-30-12 11:45 AM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
danigirl786
Veteran
Posts: 311
Joined: 10-09-08
danigirl786
In response to m.perk

So glad someone acknowledges that newbies are sometimes treated rudely/unfairly by long time members. I lurked on the boards here and at other scrapping sites for a while, which led me to stay on the sidelines rather than jump into the fray as I don't have any desire to participate in drama. Recently I decided not to let these types of exculsionary/rude behaviors keep me from discussing a hobby I love, and I began posting!! So far it's been ok, but I still see it going on with others. It's really discouraging to those of us that just want to join a community of scrappers to discuss our love of scrapping...


 
Doreena
Governor
Posts: 17249
Joined: 11-20-05
Doreena
In response to danigirl786

Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.


Edited by Doreena on 08-30-12 12:00 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
pamela.tx
Guru
Posts: 2978
Joined: 02-23-12
pamela.tx
In response to Doreena

  • Doreena Said:
Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.



I remember this forum topic. It did get out of hand because of someone's personal view.

.....and I did come to defend you too


Edited by pamela.tx on 08-30-12 12:09 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
Cindyckj
Pro
Posts: 1737
Joined: 06-29-10
Cindyckj
In response to pamela.tx

We just need to remember that we all have different opinions and to no become snippy when we don't agree with opinions that aren't like ours.

That's very hard to do. But hopefully we all learn from it.

People don't realize that when they are mean they lose all credibility and anything good they may have had to say gets lost. Then they look bad and so does this place.

Wish I wasn't guilty of this but i'm human and do try my best to be nice .


Edited by Cindyckj on 08-30-12 12:18 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
Lunareclipse
Veteran
Posts: 664
Joined: 08-20-12
Lunareclipse
In response to m.perk

I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to Lunareclipse

  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.


Edited by moxiegirl23 on 08-30-12 12:27 PM. Reason for edit: Sorry Linda!!!!


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that your wearing are washing you out.





 
pamela.tx
Guru
Posts: 2978
Joined: 02-23-12
pamela.tx
In response to moxiegirl23



 
 Page 2 of 22 
Permissions Topic Options
20386 Views
Recent Topics