Page 5 of 22 
Username Post: Discouraged.        (Topic#1580207)
Gelidy Gelato
Diva
Posts: 7669
Joined: 07-05-07
Gelidy Gelato
In response to Lunareclipse

  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.


 
Doreena
Governor
Posts: 16847
Joined: 11-20-05
Doreena
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • Doreena Said:

However, as I said, regardless of what my intent was it was all in jest and that's why I said LOL as in: everything I said prior to this "LOL" is all a joke.




Oh! I get it now!

Like, if I say "with all due respect" beforehand, it's okay?

"With all due respect, you DO look fat in polka dots." That's okay?








"Just because you say 'w/ all due respect' doesn't mean you can say whatever you want"

"It sure the Hell does!"

- as quoted from Telladega Nights


On a more serious note, yeah I can see that not being right. However, in my defense I wasn't making a comment about anyone elses business, it was about my business. In other words, the joke was about me and my hubby, it's not like I was saying something about another person or the fact that they do or don't keep secrets from their spouse. I would never go as far as to crticize someone else for their beliefs or the way the way they live their lives if it doesn't involve me. And that's what upset me. I was not insulting the harraser, I didn't even know she existed, but she came at me like I was this horrible person.
I apologize if it brings up bad memories for others but I just feel like if the joke is about me or my business then you don't have the right to attack me. Cuz i have every right to joke about myself and my family.
Not trying to argue, because of course we can agree to disagree, but I just didn't appeciate it in the least.


Edited by Doreena on 08-30-12 02:17 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39417
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to Gelidy Gelato

  • Gelidy Gelato Said:

I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, fundraisers, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.




Especially this!! It's not that I want to be mean and not share my info, but a lot of the research questions that GG mentioned are how I earn an income. It took a lot of trial and error, time and money for me to know what I know. It's beyond frustrating when someone asks for that kind of information because they don't want to go through all of the work yet they still want the benefit from that work. I'm a CM rep. I love talking about CM - between the products and being a consultant and I wish that everyone could have the opportunity to do what I do. It's just that I get compensated financially for developing a team of consultants, selling product, teaching classes and holding events. It's unfair to be expected to answer questions about being a consultant and everything it entails to someone who has already decided to join and be a member of someone else's team but doesn't want to bother their future upline with too many questions.


 
m.perk
m.perk 
Governor
Posts: 21684
Joined: 03-11-07
m.perk
In response to Gelidy Gelato

  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.




And I 100% agree with this. But, when did it become okay for people to be spoken to the way they are? Just because we all have a number saying how many times we have posted or we have a title doesnt mean one person is better than the other and I think some people do not seem to realize that. I understand the whole 'tone' situation, BUT, regarless of 'tone' some posts are down right b*tchy.....making the person feel stupid for voicing their opinion or asking their question. How is that fair? I wont name names or point fingers, but it is out there. Unfortunately a lot more than some may expect.


 
Resident
Posts: 218
Joined: 08-12-11
In response to Gelidy Gelato

  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14576
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to must_love_paper

  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.





Since this seems to be a prevailing opinion, let me throw out a hypothetical.

Person signs up, and immediately posts a question in the forum, which happened to have been discussed 3 times that week.

Rather than point out that it's been discussed (to death), NO ONE responds.

Is that better to be completely ignored, or pointed to the answer or how to search the forums?


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39417
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to must_love_paper

  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.



Honestly I'm trying to understand, but I'm afraid that words without body language or tone might come across as trying to prolong a fight...

Earlier, someone (and I'm too lazy to go back and see who and where) complained about how mean it is to post links for newbies and others as a way of answering their questions. The links are posted out of genuine kindness because the thread(s) that are linked are overflowing with the answers the poster is looking for, and in some instances are such a valuable resource that not only should they be stuck in a special subforum somewhere to be easily found but in many cases people here have bookmarked them so they can go back and reference it again and again. There are a few neighbors here who have a reputation for doing this because they want to help and this is the easiest and most efficient way of providing as much information as possible and they are attacked for not helping whoever but just posting links to all the previous help filled threads. They are called mean and asked why don't they just avoid the question if they can't be "helpful". Since when is helpful defined only as write an elaborate post that answers the question instead of linking to something that might be older but continues to answer the question perfectly? Why is being rude to these people Ok??



 
Resident
Posts: 218
Joined: 08-12-11
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.





Since this seems to be a prevailing opinion, let me throw out a hypothetical.

Person signs up, immediately posts a question in the forum, which happened to have been discussed 3 times that week.

Rather than point out that it's been discussed (to death), NO ONE responds.

Is that better to be completely ignored, or pointed to the answer or how to search the forums?





its not about the being ignored thing... pointing to a great thread is being helpful its when you get the people that go into reading it with the "I am doing the research again I dont want to be helpful" attitude that is crazy... its a forum a place to learn help ask question if you dont feel like sharing your information or as you said pointing someone in the right direction why be here?


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39417
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • must_love_paper Said:


This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.





Since this seems to be a prevailing opinion, let me throw out a hypothetical.

Person signs up, and immediately posts a question in the forum, which happened to have been discussed 3 times that week.

Rather than point out that it's been discussed (to death), NO ONE responds.

Is that better to be completely ignored, or pointed to the answer or how to search the forums?




Especially when all four discussions are in the top 10 posts on the first page of the forum?


 
CommaHolly
Angel
Posts: 69146
Joined: 01-30-09
CommaHolly
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.





Since this seems to be a prevailing opinion, let me throw out a hypothetical.

Person signs up, and immediately posts a question in the forum, which happened to have been discussed 3 times that week.

Rather than point out that it's been discussed (to death), NO ONE responds.

Is that better to be completely ignored, or pointed to the answer or how to search the forums?




this is a good point!


 
Cindyckj
Pro
Posts: 1727
Joined: 06-29-10
Cindyckj
In response to Bxr-Linda

The beauty of it is that we don't have to post to any topic we don't want to.

I can't really think of any reason to be snippy to someone when you can say it in a nice way.

Really does it take longer to be nice that it does to be grumpy? lol

I really it doesn't take long to tell someone where the search function is nicely or to tell them that the topic has been discussed many times recently and to maybe scroll through some pages or even to just nicely answer the question or to even let them know it's a touchy subject.

It doesn't take that long but time is precious and not everyone has the time. That's understandable but think back when you started and someone helped you wether it was in a store or here and if you have the time and want to help then do if not don't.

I hope that someone helps but don't see a reason to go out of my way to be mean rather than nice even when a subject has been done to death.


 
CommaHolly
Angel
Posts: 69146
Joined: 01-30-09
CommaHolly
In response to Cindyckj

Unfortunately, people here have been told they are mean for pointing out past threads. sometimes you just can't win.


 
Resident
Posts: 218
Joined: 08-12-11
In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
Unfortunately, people here have been told they are mean for pointing out past threads. sometimes you just can't win.




the past thread thing isnt what I would consider mean or rude. It is the whole "this has been asked 100 times I am not going to be used for research do it yourself thing" that is rude


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14576
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
Unfortunately, people here have been told they are mean for pointing out past threads. sometimes you just can't win.






 
angie girl
Diva
Posts: 6827
Joined: 11-16-07
angie girl
In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.


I'll have to work on that...I borrowed them from my husband...



Next time go plaid!





I personally think that argyle is the way to go.


 
leebla
leebla 
Queen
Posts: 41164
Joined: 11-24-05
leebla
In response to must_love_paper

  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.




Yes, 41,000 posts ago, I was a newbie. And I came here to ask a question about my new Wishblade. And I was eternally grateful when a very nice, and very experienced scrapbooker, named Vivian, posted links pointing me to all kinds of information in a whole forum about Wishblades!

I personally stopped posting in the forums because while I was making a comment to a friend, even one I'd met in person, I had too many new people jumping in and telling me that I was "wrong" when it was in fact, someone I knew well and a subject I knew well and had a great deal of experience with.

so yes, tone is very important.

And if someone wants to start a topic asking if everyone is offended by the same thing they are, they should be willing to expect that not everyone will be offended, and not turn around and tell "everyone" they are wrong because they don't agree.


 
Gelidy Gelato
Diva
Posts: 7669
Joined: 07-05-07
Gelidy Gelato
In response to must_love_paper

  • must_love_paper Said:
  • CommaHolly Said:
Unfortunately, people here have been told they are mean for pointing out past threads. sometimes you just can't win.




the past thread thing isnt what I would consider mean or rude. It is the whole "this has been asked 100 times I am not going to be used for research do it yourself thing" that is rude


for the record, I have actually never said this to anyone and have only expressed that statement in this thread.
When I see these types of questions...Help me come up with blog ideas (for my blog that makes me money)...I don't respond. I in fact do zip it. Zip it good.


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14576
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to Gelidy Gelato

I'd like to just say that I enjoy a good debate and sharing of different ideas.

I don't want all the threads to be: "I like X for scrapbooking"
"I like X too."
"Oh, yeah. X is wonderful."

People who don't like X aren't going to comment, because that wouldn't be 'nice'.
How boring!


Some good, clean, intellectual debate is stimulating. I LIKE hearing other people's opinions, even if they differ from mine.


 
Gelidy Gelato
Diva
Posts: 7669
Joined: 07-05-07
Gelidy Gelato
In response to Bxr-Linda

Is it is time for yummy cake recipes yet?


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14576
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to Bxr-Linda

Elizabeth, VERY good point. If someone posts here, in a PUBLIC forum, there WILL be people who disagree. If you can't tolerate that, then perhaps a forum is not the place for you?




 
 Page 5 of 22 
Permissions Topic Options
19494 Views
Recent Topics