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Username Post: Family Griping        (Topic#1591133)
flwrgrl
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flwrgrl

Evidently my scraproom has been a hot topic amongst my daughter & husband. In particular, how much I must have spent on everything in the room, including furnature, paper, embellies, containers, etc. I'm an empty nester who used to love to garden, but my asthma & knees have gotten so bad the last several years I have to hire someone to do the upkeep. I don't plant, or spend, a 1/4 of what I used to. I took up scrapbooking again almost 2 years ago. I used to have to scrap in our dining room, which meant having to clear off the table whenver the kids came home for a meal. For Christmas last year my husband bought me a craft table & 2 corner shelf units, & this spring we cleared out the rest of our daughter things from her small bedroom, which is now where I scrap. I LOVE IT!!! I think I deserve it & all that is in it! My husband has a $1,200 bicycle that he rides daily & has to have bi-annual maintainance work. Their comments make me mad, & feel guilty...why can't they just be happy for me that I have a hobby I love, can be done indoors & helps ease my boredom?


 
justowen
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justowen
In response to flwrgrl

Perhaps if they saw what you just wrote, they would understand.

I'm very fortunate that my husband has always been more than supportive of my scrapping and the kids love it, too. My husband is much more dangerous in a scrap store than I am...he will spend MANY more $$$ for supplies for me than I ever would. When we set up my scraproom, HE was the one that was spending the $$ to "get it right", while I was trying to do things on the cheap. I think it's because he really understands that I need my scrapping time...it's my therapy and relaxation. When the kids were little, he would INSIST that I go to the weekly crops at the LSS. I would try to tell him we didn't need to spend the money for that or I was too tired to go, but he would carry my cropper hoppers out to the car and tell me that I was a much better person to be around after I had gone to the weekly crop. (I was a sahm, we lived in VA and he worked at the Pentagon, so 5 days a week he was gone from very early in the morning until evening and I was home with the baby and the two elementary aged kids, so I probably was very grouchy and stressed out by the weekend.)


 
RedSquirrel UK
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RedSquirrel UK
In response to flwrgrl

Your DD and HER husband, or your DD and YOUR husband? I'm presuming you mean her DH!

If you can afford it and you have the space for it, it's none of their business what you do. It's your money, your time, your space, your fun. Maybe they choose to spend their money on drinking beer, or movies, or sports. If they can afford it and it makes them happy, that's none of your business. Unless it's causing a problem, I don't know why people seem to think that the cost of other people's choice of entertainment is up for debate.

I also don't think you should feel obliged to defend your choice or give them any explanations. Their problem, not yours.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.


 
dsouza
dsouza 
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dsouza
In response to RedSquirrel UK

  • RedSquirrel Said:
Your DD and HER husband, or your DD and YOUR husband? I'm presuming you mean her DH!

If you can afford it and you have the space for it, it's none of their business what you do. It's your money, your time, your space, your fun. Maybe they choose to spend their money on drinking beer, or movies, or sports. If they can afford it and it makes them happy, that's none of your business. Unless it's causing a problem, I don't know why people seem to think that the cost of other people's choice of entertainment is up for debate.

I also don't think you should feel obliged to defend your choice or give them any explanations. Their problem, not yours.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.



Amen, sister!!


 
Henri Jean
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Henri Jean
In response to dsouza

I don't know what to say. I feel so bad for you.

Whenever Bill has started to say anything I cut him off at the pass and thank him for all the wonderful trips and vacation. I let him know I scrap so I can remember every minute of the things we've done together.

Then I show him a page that I'm scrapping of something we've done together or the grandkids and he will re-focus on that.

Once in a while he will say, "Don't you think this is getting out of control - just a little?" I tell him, "Possibly, but we have so many great memories that I want to document in my scrapbooks. Someday your kids and mine will get the books and I want them to look nice for them.

And when we get old and can't go to these places anymore we will have our memories in these books.

He knows that what I'm scrapping is our memories together because I love him and I think that makes a big difference. It helps a lot that I make a big deal out of it when I scrap something about someone on his side of the family - he really seems to appreciate that and likes to show them.

I've made this less about my hobby and my scrapping and more about preserving our memories for both of us. That seems to help a lot.

He carries things to the car for my crops, unloads the car, shares my scraproom with me (he has a desk and computer in here) and although he isn't interested in scrapping - he likes what I do.

I think sharing the room with him helps too - he isn't cut out of my life when I'm scrapping.

It may sound manipulative but it is true. I really do scrap for both of us. For the hobby and creative outlet for me and for the memories for both of us when we get older.



Edited by Henri Jean on 09-26-13 07:51 AM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
flwrgrl
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flwrgrl
In response to dsouza

My daughter & MY husband (her Dad) I don't go to movies, I don't go clothes shopping, I don't go 'out with the girls', or out drinking. I go to work & to church & that's it! I buy nothing for SB that isn't either on sale or on clearance. I'm tempted to show my husband other Scrap-Rooms that are GORGEOUS & look like a buotique!


 
Frau_Cooney
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Frau_Cooney
In response to flwrgrl

Griping here is good, and may help you feel better. But if it doesn't, you should definitely talk to your husband and let him know why it is important to you, and why his attitude upsets you. I know I have trouble understanding a hobby/collection that my husband has, and I have to work hard not to belittle it to him. If your husband knew you were upset, he would probably make an effort to understand and not kibitz with your daughter about it.


 
HerHighness68
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HerHighness68
In response to Frau_Cooney

I don't think it's their business what you choose to do with your fun money. It would be different if you were spending money your family needed for bills/food.


 
CrimsonMama
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CrimsonMama
In response to justowen

Oh my, I feel guilty sometimes but my husband just bought a new truck, trailer and ATV and everything that goes with that. I drive a 1997 Jeep Cherokee Sport. He best not say anything. I don't spend much on clothes or anything for the house because we don't need anything.

My knees are terrible now and I don't garden anymore. We will be paying for THAT.


 
bbarthej
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bbarthej
In response to CrimsonMama

I agree with the others.... YOU work so you can enjoy life (scrapping)... You shouldn't feel guilty for this. Maybe the others need to find a hobby of their own and not worry so much about what you're doing.


 
CrimsonMama
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CrimsonMama
In response to bbarthej

So for a week, I've been dealing with ants in the kitchen. You name it I've done it. Then today, my golden - doodle goes outside and digs in the mud (it rained all day yesterday). Has so much mud clumped up on his feet that he actually altered me to the fact with a gesture when I was letting him back in the house. He knew he was going to be in trouble. So I take him to the front and washed his feet with the hose pipe. This is after I have torn up the kitchen again and silicone grout the backspash and cleaned the screen porch with soapy ammonia.

In the meantime, my husband emails me from work to expect a part for his ATV to be arriving.

I think I am pulling the trigger on my wish list today.

HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?


 
Henri Jean
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Henri Jean
In response to CrimsonMama

You are funny - did you get pictures?

I'm working on scanning layouts today - doing current ones for Greece a few months ago, and am in the middle of our first book from 2006. Boy, is it bringing up some great memories scanning it!

Got about 30 pages of our first book (about 85 pages) and I can email it to have it printed.

Got 27 more books to scan in! YIKES!

Learned how to heat emboss a few days ago. One of my scrappy girlfriends came over and showed me how with Bill watching. He thought it was funny - didn't understand why I didn't just grab the hair blower. She mentioned that her husband keeps taking her Stampin Up heat gun in the garage to use it. I can already hear the wheels grinding in my husband's head thinking about what he will use it for. He's better not touch it! MINE!!! (Or it will be when the order comes in.)

Oh - back to the point - now that I can heat emboss I'm ready to use the drippy blood stamp to do those Transylvania layouts soon - want to get the scanning further along first so I can give family members books for Christmas.

I told Joe he could pick out about 100 of his favorites of him, his cousins, his brother and niece and I'd have them printed for him and he likes that idea.


 
CrimsonMama
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CrimsonMama
In response to Henri Jean

Oh my! I am still scanning photos from our albums. I have organized about 5000 but still have about 10 albums that will require, UNDO, hairdryer and elbow grease.

You got your work cut out for you Henri!

SO IN THE MEANTIME:

Not only did the part for my husband's ATV come, but his DEER STAND just showed up as well.

Adding to wish list as we speak.

YEAH COME'ON!


 
3LittleLadies
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3LittleLadies
In response to flwrgrl

  • flwrgrl Said:
I'm tempted to show my husband other Scrap-Rooms that are GORGEOUS & look like a buotique!



You should! Even though my husband is supportive of my hobby I have shown my him some of the scrap rooms I've seen online that look like stores.



 
cescrapper
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cescrapper
In response to 3LittleLadies

if it desn't get in their way why should they grip . you enjoy it it makes you happy that in itself should be enough. you have your toys they have theirs.

I know where you come from i get this from my sister all the time. When I have the money I spend it the way i want. the bills get paid first I use what's left over the way i want.

She even complaines on how many photos i take. it doesn't get in her way what does it matter how many phoots i take. it's the digital age it's not like i'm spending all my time getting photos developed and storing them someplace in her way and yet i don't get to say a word about what she does.


 
CrimsonMama
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CrimsonMama
In response to cescrapper

  • Quote:

She even complaines on how many photos i take. it doesn't get in her way what does it matter how many phoots i take. it's the digital age it's not like i'm spending all my time getting photos developed and storing them someplace in her way and yet i don't get to say a word about what she does.



Ok, at LEAST my husband like photography and gave me a great Nikon camera. Of course, that was his, he had to upgrade!


 
flwrgrl
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flwrgrl
In response to CrimsonMama

Well, I have a pretty intense job that can be uber stressful at times & I've found that scrapping relaxes me & gets my mind off of problems/issues that are bugging me. I just get lost in that LO world for hours so...I figure scrapping is cheaper than a therapist right?? Wait til I tell them I'm ready for an embossing machine! That should push 'em right over the edge!


 
dsouza
dsouza 
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dsouza
In response to flwrgrl

Some people just like to hate on others who are finding some joy in their lives! I am blessed. My husband fully supports my hobbies. He will help me load up the car, unload the car. He's even driven 45 minutes one way to a weekend crop to bring me paper that I had just bought that I forgot to pack and thought I just couldn't live without for the weekend! He gives me gift certificates for scrapbooking supplies. He bought my first original Cricut for me as a Christmas present after I told him that I would like to have one but I thought it was just too expensive! When I took up cake decorating classes he went out and bought me a KitchenAid stand mixer which I have wanted my entire adult life! Just as a surprise. Now, some of you are probably hating on me, too!


 
CrimsonMama
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CrimsonMama
In response to dsouza

Oh that Kitchen Aid is divine!

Yes, it is good therapy. I hope everyone's families 'get it' at some point and appreciate it.


 
Sunnydi
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Sunnydi
In response to flwrgrl

  • flwrgrl Said:
Well, I have a pretty intense job that can be uber stressful at times & I've found that scrapping relaxes me & gets my mind off of problems/issues that are bugging me. I just get lost in that LO world for hours so...I figure scrapping is cheaper than a therapist right?? Wait til I tell them I'm ready for an embossing machine! That should push 'em right over the edge!



Don't tell them about the machine. Could be they are jealous; maybe he as he feels like he's lost time with you and with Daughter; maybe same reason or you her mom is not spending money on her like in the past. What do you think? could it be jealousy?

Hubby and I have always had allowances to spend as we want to without questioning the other person or even sharing it. (nothing illegal of course).. I get a package and it goes straight to my room; he doesn't eve see what it is.



 
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