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Username Post: Children at a crop?        (Topic#1597359)
RedSquirrel
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RedSquirrel

Do you think it's acceptable to bring kids to a crop?

Let me clarify. It's a monthly Saturday crop at a hall, and it's been run for 10 years. I'm a relative newbie at only 2 years' membership. One of the other ladies has an 8-yo DD who she is bringing along more and more. She's a lovely child; quiet, cheerful, generous and sharing, well-behaved and really into crafting. She always makes things, and thoroughly enjoys getting into a delicious mess. And she has accidents with paint and spilled drinks, like any child that age.

Everyone there loves kids, and nobody minds sharing the child-minding while her mother scraps. We all understand that it's hard for single parents to get child-care. I've said nothing, and have no intention of saying anything, but I think I'm the only one who doesn't want kids to be around while I've got a lot of expensive kit spread about. I don't want tea spilled all over my bags, and I don't like opening the toilet door and getting wet paint on me, and and then finding a purple flood on the floor. I don't like feeling that I ought to bring my own cleaning equipment to mop up messes (because the hall doesn't supply it).

I sound like a proper Grinch, don't I? OK, end of vent...


 
Doreena
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Doreena
In response to RedSquirrel

Nope...you're not a Grinch.
I wouldn't want a child around me when I am scrapping either! Even my own! LOL!
Besides the danger of her messing up your stuff, I see a crop as a way to get away from everything, including children, and a time to really relish in the creating; really enjoying the hobby! And as a parent, I'm surprised the parent of the child doesn't realize this! I mean I love my kids, most of the time (kidding, kidding) but I'm not in denial when it comes to the fact that not everyone wants my kids around, especially in an environment like that!
With that being said, however, it looks like you are the minority at your particular place of cropping so I wouldn't say anything. But it would be a shame if you have to give it up.


 
Veteran
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Joined: 12-13-05
In response to RedSquirrel

I don't think you sound like a Grinch. Most people go to crops (IMHO) to get away and just enjoy a girl's night out. Although I totally understand the challenges of child care...we all face challenges of one kind or another...it seems that if this is a regular thing, she could try to find someone to watch her child...especially if she is the only child there. I'm sure she has a good time getting into things, but it sounds like it is a little more than that. Of course, if no one says anything, then nothing changes. It's hard because you don't want hurt feelings, but I think the bottom line is that everyone comes to enjoy their time away to scrap and shouldn't feel forced to "child mind". Just my two cents.


 
Doreena
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Doreena
In response to 1scrappymom

Yeah it really bugs me that people have kids and don't realize they can't do all the things they once did! They think, oh I'll just take my kid w/ me. Sorry there are places where it's either inappropriate or just a nuisance to others.
For example, when people take babies/little kids to an adult movie! Ughhhh! Hey, if you can't find a baby sitter, stay home! Let us who don't have kids or were able to make arrangements enjoy the movie in peace! I have 2 kids, now 12 & 19, and I never did that kind of stuff! If I couldn't make other arrangements, I didn't go. That's part of being a parent. If you can't handle it, don't have them! Ughhh!
LOL! Sorry for the rant but you got me all worked up! Hahahahahahahahah!


 
ChansGram
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ChansGram
In response to Doreena

While it is wonderful that the mom is encouraging her DD to get into this hobby, I feel like the others so far, there's a time and a place. This not being one of them!!
Craft with her at home or at a friend's house who may also have a child.
We go to events like these to get away from the everyday distractions we face at home.

I am incredibly intertwined with my DGD's and even I know this is a no go!
I babysit my youngest DGD (6) and I even turn down lunch with a friend of 25yrs because of this very thing.
Just because I think they're the cutest. most adorable things ever, NEWS FLASH....not everyone does!! When we lunch I always have to clarify that I have to bring my DGD with, she just sits there with my phone and watches Netflix or plays games, no trouble at all, but I still feel bad bringing her! Just for the reason that it is suppose to be our time to hang out and chat!


 
Vae
Vae 
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Vae
  • Vae on 07-08-14 10:33 AM
In response to Doreena

I don't think you're a grinch at all. I wonder how many in your group feel the same way and nobody wants to say anything. I personally wouldn't go to a crop if there were kids around. I don't think it's an appropriate place for kids and I wouldn't want to have to worry about making sure my craft blades/etc are out of reach and some of my other more expensive/hazardous things.


 
andrea m
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andrea m
In response to ChansGram

I agree with everyone else. I would be bothered by someone bringing a child to a crop. You would think she would notice that hers is the only child there and get the hint. Most places I have gone have firm rules of no children allowed.
Can you ask to not be seated by them?


 
RedSquirrel
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RedSquirrel
In response to andrea m

Unfortunately we all have "our" tables, and if I changed it would really notice - and after the tea incident it would be obvious why! Besides, if someone else has to sit next to them then they get the tea spilled and that isn't fair either.

Luckily the purple paint washed out of my sleeve and the tea stains sponged off my bag. I just couldn't help thinking what if the next stain didn't come out, or my stuff got damaged, you know?

I probably won't stop going, because after the first year of being unproductive and dissatisfied, I've worked out a winning formula now. I shall carry on going and just have an occasional whinge, I expect! I might just have a little chat with the others to find out whether it's just me, but the mother can be a bit defensive and if anything was said, she'd stop going. That's not what I want. She needs her break as well, and the little one loves it. I just have to put up with it.


 
CKohn
CKohn 
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CKohn
  • CKohn on 07-08-14 11:37 AM
In response to andrea m

I am on the fence about this topic. I would say that it would depend on the policies of the event, if there is a policy that states no kids , then no kids or babies should be there.

In the case of the child that you mention, it sounds she is well behaved and loves to craft and doesn't make any more mess than an adult. She would be the reason that people would allow children to attend such an event. I would suggest that you request not be seated near the child and her mom.


 
RedSquirrel
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RedSquirrel
In response to CKohn

No policy. It's just a group of about 8-10 of us who get together and share crafting. It's super-informal. As long as everyone pays their way for the hire of the hall and helps to set up and put away as best they can, that's about the extent of the rules.

She is. She's a great kid, well brought up and not really any trouble. I'm not sure about no more mess than an adult - she makes a LOT of mess! But that's normal for an 8-yo. I'm not criticising her at all. This is 100% my problem.


 
bonprof
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bonprof
In response to CKohn

I do not go to crops where there are children. Period.


 
950nancy
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950nancy
In response to bonprof

I am a teacher. I love teaching and being around kids…in school. Perhaps if you moved the mom might wonder why. You have a good reason. It is okay. It would be uncomfortable at first, but politely being worried about your craft is totally acceptable. I also know that cute adorable eight year olds are still children and being around a group of 8-10 adult women is not always appropriate. Women talk. Kids should not be privy to hours and hours of that discussion. They are kids. I have been in this situation and I have a hard time remembering to be kid appropriate when not at work. I don't envy you. This is a tough situation.


 
meezerpleaser
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meezerpleaser
In response to bonprof

  • bonprof Said:
I do not go to crops where there are children. Period.



Amen to that. Crops are an "adults only" thing, maybe with older teenagers who can be responsible. But it's insane that this current generation thinks their kids are welcome EVERYWHERE. If you're a Grinch, then so am I.


 
Vae
Vae 
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Vae
  • Vae on 07-08-14 01:12 PM
In response to 950nancy

  • 950nancy Said:

Women talk. Kids should not be privy to hours and hours of that discussion. They are kids. I have been in this situation and I have a hard time remembering to be kid appropriate when not at work.



I was gonna say this too


 
Vae
Vae 
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Vae
  • Vae on 07-08-14 01:17 PM
In response to Vae

I don't know if it's really 100% your problem. You're not saying she's a bad kid, just that she IS a kid. I wouldn't expect, at a crop, to have tea spilled on my bag, or to have paint on doorknobs and a flood on the floor in the bathroom. I just think that sounds messier than most adults. Especially in a crop situation... I haven't been to many but the ones I've been to, the people there are usually overly conscious about at least keeping their mess confined to their own areas, and are very careful about spills and keeping common areas tidy. I wonder if there's a way to subtly hint about it without causing an issue, like coming up with a list of common rules, or have a group project where everyone decorates their own cup that has one of those screw-on lids with a straw? hehe


 
Resident
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Joined: 06-25-14
In response to RedSquirrel

While I do agree with what everyone has said,add me to the grinch list :D, it doesn't sound like there is much you can do about the situation with it being such a casual arrangement.
I specially agree with 950nancy about kids being around adult conversations.
However, in view of the fact that you can't change the situation, I wonder if this would help.
IF the little girl had a nice well behaved little friend who also like to scrap, prehaps a separate table away from the main group, could be set up for them, kids corner....
She would have company, and be away from the group, avoiding spills, overhearing conversations etc etc.
But the mum has to take full responsibility for both of them.....and one friend only for the little girl !!!!!
Of course the hall would have to be big enough....



 
RedSquirrel
Diva
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RedSquirrel
In response to christiscraps61

I didn't even think about the conversation. There is occasional mild language, and the topics are probably not suitable for an 8-yo - there can be a lot of moaning! I shall file that away for the future.

Thank you for giving me an extended perception of this. I knew you would - you guys rock.


 
RhondaR
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RhondaR
In response to RedSquirrel

You all split the cost of renting the hall--does she pay for her AND her daughter or just herself? That's just a thought that popped into my head.
I agree with you--I wouldn't feel as comfortable if there were an 8 year old there and I'd think the mom would realize she's basically taking advantage of everyone's politeness.
You said she's a single parent so I do have sympathy for her in that regard--it's possible she just doesn't have an option for child care.
I probably wouldn't stop going but it would be nice if you were able to change seats.


 
cindy312
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cindy312
In response to RhondaR

I am a HUGE advocate of involving children in crafting, but I would never bring an 8 year old child to a crop, no matter how well-behaved, unless children were specifically encouraged to come. I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with a 16 year old being there, but that's about my minimum.


 
Scrapjanny
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Scrapjanny
In response to RedSquirrel

You all take turns babysitting while the mother scraps? And she spills things and makes a mess?

That would be enough for me to either stop going or move my seat. If the mother asked me why, I would tell her very nicely that I didn't want anything spilled on my things. (It's obviously happened before.) And I certainly wouldn't be babysitting someone else's child while the mother scrapped.

I love kids too, but when I go to a crop, I go to relax and be with grown-ups. Like others have said, when my children were little, if I couldn't get someone to watch them, I didn't go. That is part of being a parent - single parents included. I guess I sound like a Grinch too, but that's the way I feel.


 
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