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My2blessings
July 7, 2007

Heaven Sent

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This is a really personal one for me. I have been meaning to scrap this for a long time, but just kept putting it off. This is a page about the struggle we went through trying to bring my youngest daughter into this world. We felt so blessed to get pregnant again so easily...but we had a difficult time trying to stay pregnant. I know that its was only by the Grace of God that she is with me today. I hinged the photo on one side so that I could hide the journaling behind it. And also posted a pic showing the actual journaling.

Journaling reads: My sweet baby girl, it's so fitting that you chose to be an angel this past Halloween, because in my mind, there is no doubt that you are truely heaven sent. You came into this world against the odds.....you fought so hard baby and mommy fought too. It was a terribly difficult pregnancy. Never in my life have I been so afraid...so frustrated and angry. Each time the bleeding would start again and again....and each time I would pray to God. I would beg him...."Dear Lord, let there be a heartbeat....please let it be there...let me hear it. I know she is your child Lord...I know she isnt mine to keep forever....but I'm not ready to let her go yet. Couldnt she stay with me a little while longer? Please...please....Heavenly Father. I just need to be able to hold her and touch her and tell her how much I love her.....just once dear Lord, I need to look into her tiny face and tell her. Let me hear it....please let me hear it."

I would hold Daddys hand tight, close my eyes and wait. It would be faint at first...then as the doctor found the right spot,....gradually become louder and louder. I would hear the sound of your precious little heart.

I saved all the papers...all the doctors notes that say " early stages of miscarriage" scribbled across them. More than once they gave you a 50/50 chance. But we didnt believe them did we baby? Yes....we were tired and we were scared, but we never stopped fighting. And at 7:01 pm on May 13th 2004, we won baby! You were smaller than you should have been....but you were strong and beautiful and you were healthy! I held you in my arms, looked into your tiny face and told you how very much I loved you and how proud I was that you never gave up. And I thanked God, for giving me the single most amazing gift I could ever ask for. My beautiful "heaven sent" baby girl. I love you Emma.


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