Journaling: warm and fuzzy. well, i was delirious. in my childhood during Christmastime one year, i was sick. Feverish. I remember lying on the floor in the living room that night, wrapped up and waiting for my illness to pass. i was afraid i would be too sick to participate in Christmas day activities. Going to my aunts' house, playing with the cousins, enjoying the day. i remember looking at the lighted Christmas tree, but the twinkling lights and tinsel kept blurring into each other. i was so hot. my oldest sister, mary, came into the room carrying her ceramic teddy bear with marble eyes and asked me if i wanted his company. she knew i was fascinated by him as he had a bulb inside and when plugged in, his eyes lit up with the most marvelous colors. she placed him next to my head between me and the Christmas tree. i still have that image in my head. Those beautiful marble eyes with the Christmas tree twinkling in the background. i'd never felt so loved and cared for. i don't remember what happened after that night, but the memory of that bear, of that moment in time, has stayed with me since. every Christmas, every Christmas tree with twinkling lights brings back the memory of that bear, of my sister's love. More than anything, it symbolizes the spirit of Christmas for me. Simple acts of kindness given when they're not expected, but sorely needed. i fell asleep to the sight of beautiful, beautiful colors.