JOurnaling: when i first started dating Dan, i knew he was dating other women. he was up front about he wanted from a relationship at this point, and that was companionship, nothing more. i agreed, and indeed, advised him that that was all i wanted as well. that was before i met him face to face. within a few months of dating, i knew i had fallen in love. i also knew, because he told me, that he wasn't looking for a long term relationship. after struggling with myself, and breaking it off with him twice, i finally admitted to myself that whether this relationship was going nowhere, or if it would prove to be the one i'd been waiting for, i would give myself, my heart, to this man. No strings attached. If, in the end, he decided to stop our relationship, i would let him go , hoping he found the happiness that i always felt in his presence. I'd never loved this way before. It scared me and it set me free. all the time we spent together was special, because, in my mind, it might be the last. so, every date was dear to me, every look, every hug, every kiss, was cherished. had he found someone else, i would have been devastated, but i know i would have bowed out silently, wishing him happiness, because that's all i've ever wished for him. thankfully, blessedly, wondrously, he chose me. i know i'm lucky. i thank God every day for the chance to be with him. i love him wholeheartedly, without conditions, without demands, with no strings attached.