There is hidden journal writing inside the little booklet. On the front it says CJM, Cyrus James Mead...Inside it says "My Story," I stopped counting how many years have past, some time ago, but realized today that if you had been born you would be 12 years old. WOW! So much time has passed but the pain hurts just as much today as it did yesterday. People told me, "oh,l you are young and you guys will have more kids." But it never happened...But something did happen. After years of struggling with my infertility, I had finally come to a place of acceptance and then, God brought me the baby in my dream.
I should have recognized him, but it would take a little more time for the connection to hit...
When I finally realized what had happened, it was very powerful!
One month after my loss, you came to me in a dream. A friend of mine was holding you, and handed you back to me when you began to cry and said, "all he wants is his momma."
What I remember most about that dream was holding you in my arms for the first time, and thinking how odd it was that you looked exactly like my younger brother.
On October 13th, 2007 my second song found way into my arms. It was supposed to be temporary. He was going to return home when his parents completed the things CPS was asking them to do. But they never followed through, you stayed. I was bitter in the beginning, I did not think I wanted to be a Mom anymore!
Fast forward to December 1st, 2008 when I called a local radio show to talk with a dream therapist. She was blown away when I told her about the dream, and said I had been contacted from the other side. She had only met a few others who had experienced this. Then she asked if I had ever had more kids and I told her about the pending adoption of my nephew. The son (a Jr.) of my younger brother, the same face I had seen in my dream... -I love you Cyrus