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Not much to tell about the how-to of this LO, I layered, distressed and inked the papers, and for the fence I painted and inked some clothes-pegs.

I will try to translate my journaling for those who are interested:

When I was young, I only had one vision of the future: house, garden, tree, kids, ... But when I had it all, I started to doubt...

Staying at home to raise the kids wasn't my idea, but my husband refused even to think about children otherwise. Against all expectations (I really loved my work...) I loved staying at home and look after the children. Still, I felt guilty most of the time. To me, it felt like I was "being kept" by my husband, and though I worked long hours - that happens when you have 3 children in a 2,5 year period - I didn't feel at all comfortable with the fact I wasn't contributing anything financially and with being so totally dependant on my husband.

When my third child started school, I immediately took a job to go cleaning houses several times a week, nobody was going to blame me to be a lazy wife with too much spare time on her hands! However, my life started to not feel right ... I was always cleaning, if not someone else's house, I was cleaning my own ... had I gone to school and get a nice diploma for that? The domestic chores which in the past I liked doing didn't give me any satisfaction anymore. On the other hand, I was feeling so guilty about my own negative feelings about my life ... I had a home, 3 healthy children, a happy marriage, what more can you want?

Now I love my life again and I'm feeling happier than ever. What has changed then? For starters, I've given up my cleaning work, and that has been my best decision ever! I'm back to enjoying my housework here in my own home, and I'm finally starting to realise that what I do here at home is important as well, and that how I feel and act has an effect on my entire family. Not everyone should stay at home to raise their children, but for us this has been the best solution, I realise that now. And should it ever be necessary financially for me to start working again, I'll try and find something I learned for, a place of work I can enjoy and which will satisfy me. I have spent to much time worrying about my duties, ignoring me in the process. I finally realise I matter in this family too. I'm finally making time for me (scrapping and fitness), something I haven't done for so long, and that has made all the difference in the world. I now realise how fortunate I am. I'm happy, my husband's happy, my children are happy ... I LOVE MY LIFE!


Well that's it. I wish I could have expressed myself a bit better, I'm not a very good writer, I tend to jump from one thought to the other without any structure at all, and that shows in my writing, but I think I've said it all here. This feeling of guilt about not going to work has been something I had been struggling for for years. There aren't all that many SAHM here in Belgium, and there have been times I was ashamed to admit I did not have a job. Long written conversations with some new-found scrapping American friends have made me come to terms with it though. More than that, they have made me realise how fortunate I am to be living the life I'm leading. I would especially like to thank April (scrappingmommyof2girls), Jodi (Ms. Fit) and Marta (Mama of 3), you have no idea how much impact you've had on my life! I feel so lucky to have met you!

TFL xxx Peggy


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