A very personal page . the first time i did something that had no specifc album in mind. only my desire to create.
the journling is in Hebrew but here's the translation:
"Innocent. You don't stay innocent for ever. But I still want to stay innocent. At least partly. I understood that saying goodbye so someone in my life- brought with it- more then that- more then the breakup itself. It brought the breakup from my innocent. He took away my childish innocence. That innocence the keep's my faith that human beings are good- and everybody is good- waiting for the opportunity to show the would it's unique goodness. And all of a sudden I realize that he was an idiot, and that not every body is good. And then my innocence was gone.
How pretty is the world of the chills- who still hasn't suffered and still hasn't been hurt- and he still give's the befit of the doubt to anyone who want- and even to people who never actually asked. Because he has a strong belief that people want what's good- for them self and for others. And that same belief is something you just can't keep as a grown-up.
I miss my innocence. Yes. And I kept it for a very long time. Not for a choice- but probably from who I am. Because my personality, that still hopes that there's good in every one of us. And I'm not sure if that's such a bad thing. After all- we all want that people well think good things about us. So what's the big herm in giving that befit to begin with?
There's something about losing you innocent that happens with the process of growing up. As long as you believe in the good of man kind- there has to be something wrong with you. At least as long as you're a grown up. There's this expectation that your going to lose your innocence sometime- and if you don't do that, and if you want to hold on to it- then you must be a fool, that never learns. Because eventually you get hurt- and then you keep getting hurt. And if you lose your innocence- then maybe- just maybe- you'll stop getting hurt.
And that's what happen. I stopped getting hurt by him. And as soon as I decide that I'm not going to get hurt by him- that same second- that was the moment that my innocence was gone. Forever. And that's my real loss- the loss of my innocence. "