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Journaling: Everyone says enjoy them while they're little. I'm sorry I didn't enjoy you more. Looking back I know how much I missed out on and I am sad that I wasn't a better mommy to you when you were both so small. But truth be told, it was just too much for me most days. I was fighting so many internal battles of my own that enjoying my two small babes was overwhelming. I felt so alone, almost like a single parent living in a country that I didn't understand, that was constantly watching me and you. I look back at pictures of you when you were little and I just want to cry. I want to jump into the photo and hold you so tight, tell you how much I love you. And make sure you know that even though I am crazy most days that I love you. I love you. I love you.Things are better now - now that you are older and don't need me for every little thing. I have found some peace and balance. I still lose my perspective some days and fall into the old pattern of feeling like I have to be the perfect mother, that you two have to be the perfect children. But deep in my heart I know that we are okay. We are going to be okay, I hope and pray. I didn't love and respect you enough when you were so little. I'm sorry for that. But please know that I am still learning. I so deeply want to be a good mom to you. I am trying. I feel like I am getting better now.Credits:most papers and elements from Midsummer Night's Dream by ViVa Artistrybutterfly is from Into Indigo by Quirky Twerpbackground stamp is from Cluster Caper by Karen Lewisphoto mask is by Vera Limfont used for title is The King Queenfont used for journaling is Aquarelleas seen in the Jan 2012 Artisan Notebook. Thank you so much for looking!
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