I created this page on Christmas Eve after my husband had puked all day and right before I had to take him to the ER. WARNING! BITTER PITY PARTY JOURNALING AHEAD!!! LOL
"Right now, the house should smell like Christmas candles and fondue oil. My babies should be snuggled up in their brand new special fuzzy jammies, dreaming of a wondrous Christmas morning. Art and I should be listening to Guitar Winterlude or the Blenders as we stuff the stockings; take magical pictures of the glowing, overflowing Christmas tree; snuggle on the couch in our new Christmas PJs and drink hot chocolate. My home should be filled with peace. Christmas eve-- that one night when the world and its troubles slide away and there is hope. That is not this night. My house smells vaguely like vomit and macaroni and cheese. The boys are sleeping, but not in their new jammies. And I know how disappointed Ryan is that our Christmas has been postponed. The sounds I hear are just whatever the radio happens to be playing, along with the occasional miserable sound of my husband being ill. No presents under the tree, no magical pictures, no snuggling or peace on earth for me. Instead I'm here all by myself, dreading the knowledge that if he doesn't feel better soon it's likely we'll be spending our Christmas at the hospital getting rehydrated. Worrying about letting the boys down. Afraid that I won't be able to get extra time off work so we can celebrate later in the week. Guilty because I know in the grand scheme of things my problems are so incredibly small. My husband could be in Irq. HE could be terminally ill. He could be gone completely. I know all these things, and I am grateful we can be together this Christmas, but I can't help wishing our Christmas could be, if not perfect, at least normal. And I can't help but feeling that there must have been a mistake, because this simply can't be Christmas Eve.
December 24th, or so they say."
patterned paper: flair designs, WalMart
Alpha stickers: Sonnets, Miss Elizabeth, Studio K, JoAnn
Alpha Rubons: Heidi Swapp, EK Success
Circle Tag: WalMart
Star STicker: JoAnn
Chipboard Circles: Heidi Swapp