I was featured at CSI: Color, Stories, Inspiration for this layout. Part of the challenge involved telling a story you've never told before. My journaling says, "This is a story I've never shared. . .
In the first photo is Matthew on Christmas Eve 1994. He is sweet and peaceful, just a month old. And, two days later, he was hospitalized with pneumonia. The cause was RSV, and thousands of children were sick from it in our area.
It was a long, tiring week that Matthew spent in the hospital. Both Bob and Kevin were sick, and I had previously undergone outpatient surgery on Dec. 20. I spent most of every day in his room, catching naps on a nearby cot. By New Year's Eve, I was exhausted. Even though Matthew had radically improved, I was feeling angry and depressed. I got even angrier when I heard about some college friends of mine flying to Mexico on a whim. They didn't have the responsibility of children.
“Why did I have kids?” I thought. If I didn't have children, I wouldn't be here, listening to the beeping of machines and constant footsteps in the halls. I could be in Mexico or wherever I pleased. I felt so alone, selfish, and hating myself.
At that moment, Matthew began to cry. Numbly, I pulled back the plastic sheets that surrounded his bed.
And he smiled at me. . .
Not just smiled, but beamed like a thousand suns.
And in my head, I clearly heard the last line of The Little Drummer Boy. "And then, He smiled at me. . ."
Matthew was released the next day, and I've kept this story inside of me, untold, for nineteen years."
In the upper left hand corner I wrote, "(You see, I wasn't alone. God was with me all that time. He heard me, even though I wasn't praying. He sent me a clear message--my children were a gift.)
"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comforts delight my soul." Psalm 94:19
Several products that I used that I couldn't find in the store: Maggie Holmes transparency frames and the background paper is from Crate Paper The Pier line. The "Life is beautiful" PL card came from a Studio Calico kit.
Thanks for looking, and have a great day!