I peed on a stick
And what do you know!
In three of four months
I'll be starting to show!

Steve looked at me one day
And said, "Hon, I'm ready
To have little Lisa or Steven
Or Eddie(?) !!

He looked at my face
And it must have turned white
This new bit of news
Really gave me a fright

I thought we'd agreed
That we wouldn't have kids;
Why, our pill bottles don't
Even have childproof lids!

I thought and I thought
Till my face turned to blue
I really did not know
Just what I should do!

Did I think I could stand it
This childbearing thing?
Did I want to miss out
On the joy it could bring?

I'd always had time
To put off this decision
But the 40-year-old mark
Was now within vision!

It was now or never
No more time have I got
It truly was time
To poop or leave the pot!

So I weighed all my options
And decided with glee
This having a kid thing
Was really for me!

I told Steve, "OK!"
And we started to try
And before we knew it
We'd made a small fry!

Yes, I peed on a stick
And well, glory be!
Who'd a thunk we could be
So elated by pee!?