The rules of the range are simple at best
Should you venture in that habitat.
Don't cuss a man's dog, be good to the cook
And don't mess with a cowboy's hat.

Now I'll admit there's dogs that need cussin'
And when Cookie starts out in the spring
His grub ain't fit for buzzard consumption
But a hat? That's a personal thing!

Sometimes it's all that a cowboy owns
Or, at least, that he owns free and clear
So when someone suggests that he check it
He'll prob'ly act like he didn't hear

'Cause he'd no more think of leavin' his hat
Than he'd consider crossin' a pard.
Id be like a zebra leavin' his stripes
Or a lawyer forgettin' his card!

In a dance hall, a court room or cafe
If asked, he'll stick it under his chair
Or decide to himself if hats ain't welcome
Then just maybe he shouldn't be there.

He subscribes to a loose code of conduct
That's unwritten but here's how it's said,
"There's only one place that a hat belongs
And that's settin' on top of yer head!"

If you're givin' some thought to my comments
You'd expect and exception whereat
A place exists that's propitiously sound
For a cowboy to take off his hat.

If you're thinkin' a wedding, forget it!
That's half a hitch a cowboy can't tie
And if your final guess is a funeral,
I can tellya friend, they never die!

So a word to the wise is sufficient
And I guess I should leave it at that.
Suffice it to say, you can bum his last chew
But don't mess with a cowboy's hat!
Repeat after me

Don't mess with a cowboy's hat!