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Username Post: Discouraged.        (Topic#1580207)
m.perk
m.perk 
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m.perk

This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


 
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In response to m.perk

I believe in the concept of "We all need to agree to disagree." Different thoughts and opinions are fine, as long as they are stated in a respectful manner.


 
Hey Jude
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Hey Jude
In response to deedee49

  • deedee49 Said:
I believe in the concept of "We all need to agree to disagree." Different thoughts and opinions are fine, as long as they are stated in a respectful manner.


I wish there was a 'like' button. Agreed 100%.


 
CrimsonMama
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CrimsonMama
In response to m.perk

Hmm, I guess I have missed this mostly but, folks should be able to state a different opinion without being nasty about it. If we all had the same ideas and likes, all of our LO's would look just alike and there would be no purpose in this forum.

Don't let them make you stay away.


 
GIGIGI30
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GIGIGI30
In response to m.perk

  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.




Finally....Someone who can read my mind!! That's the main reason I keep my thoughts to myself or look elsewhere 'till I found my answer. It's so sad that sometimes you just want to ask a simple question 'bout something and wonder if is going to be taken out of context and make a big commotion out of nothing and you ended up not doing it. Unfortunately some people in here, and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone, don't take the time to stop and smell the roses and are just sitting there waiting to attack like a pack of hungry wolves.

I went through this the other day when I sent a group PM to let people know about a sale that was going on for the images on the Silhouette Cameo store. My intentions were to enable people and spread the news and I even stated on my message that I wasn't getting anything in return. Guess what? I received a nasty message from someone. So right and there, I decided not to ask or say anything anymore.


 
t-scraps
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t-scraps
In response to GIGIGI30

Don't get mad or stay away, just feel sorry for them. Think about it like this, they must be so awfully unhappy and miserable with their own lives, the only way they feel better is to make disparaging remarks about someone else.


 
pamela.tx
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pamela.tx
In response to GIGIGI30

  • GIGIGI30 Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.




Finally....Someone who can read my mind!! That's the main reason I keep my thoughts to myself or look elsewhere 'till I found my answer. It's so sad that sometimes you just want to ask a simple question 'bout something and wonder if is going to be taken out of context and make a big commotion out of nothing and you ended up not doing it. Unfortunately some people in here, and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone, don't take the time to stop and smell the roses and are just sitting there waiting to attack like a pack of hungry wolves.

I went through this the other day when I sent a group PM to let people know about a sale that was going on for the images on the Silhouette Cameo store. My intentions were to enable people and spread the news and I even stated on my message that I wasn't getting anything in return. Guess what? I received a nasty message from someone. So right and there, I decided not to ask or say anything anymore.



I have to agree with you. I don't really like to post too much because of this same reason. I have literally been called a snob and have been attacked for stating my opinion. For this reason, I mainly just read some of the posts and don't chime in too often.

Some people do have a tendency to take things totally out of context and make something out of nothing. It's a shame, really. Just a few days ago, some poor girl got bashed for being excited about getting a good deal on shipping.




 
bigredssw
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In response to t-scraps

Unfortunately, this happens often on lots of forums. I used to belong to another major SB forum that was so much fun until people started sniping at each other and all the fun (and expert) people who had been members from the beginning got disgusted and quit. I don't understand why in the world we can't all get along...the purpose of the forum is to help each other, not to judge and criticize!! I agree with t-scraps...they must be very unhappy to even do it in the first place.


 
pamela.tx
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pamela.tx
In response to bigredssw

It's a shame that some of these "expert" people here are doing some of bashing though. I think if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. I guess some people forget this is not a debate session. This is simply a place where people come together to share the love of scrapbooking, to learn new things, and inspire others.



 
Bev1
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  • Bev1 on 08-30-12 07:04 AM
In response to bigredssw

Some people aren't happy unless they can find something to gripe about,ignore this and keep on .oing!Some just like to stir things up.Enjoy this fun hobby and this forum and simply overlook these trouble makers.


 
shortmouse
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In response to pamela.tx

I tell my daughter every time she reads me certain message on "CafeMom" that their are some people who aren't happy unless they are mean.


 
m.perk
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m.perk
In response to shortmouse

I am glad I am not the only person who has noticed this. I will read some things, but I wont chime in and I rarely ask questions or opinions. It was completely different when I first signed up on here. I don't understand why people have to live and breathe off of drama! It is very unfortunate!


 
CommaHolly
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In response to m.perk

I think we need to remember you can't read tone of voice online. It's allowable to disagree,,,,I also think it depends on what you mean by "hounded". If they are free to state their opinion, then I am free to disagree

if someone states that A is the best way to scrapbook, why is it permissable for them to state their opinion, but not for ME to state that I prefer method B??

I think sometimes, we read tone of voice into a post that isn't there Respect is important,,no doubt about it


 
whateveriwant
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whateveriwant
In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
I think we need to remember you can't read tone of voice online. It's allowable to disagree,,,,I also think it depends on what you mean by "hounded". If they are free to state their opinion, then I am free to disagree

if someone states that A is the best way to scrapbook, why is it permissable for them to state their opinion, but not for ME to state that I prefer method B??

I think sometimes, we read tone of voice into a post that isn't there Respect is important,,no doubt about it



I think this forum is increasingly hostile to newbies or people that post things that have been posted before. Like this recent comment for example:

  • Quote:
And who cares? Well, I guess the OP does, but I don't think anybody else cares about what "style" people scrap. There's just no purpose to it.

People here get super mad when talking about certain styles so I'd just leave it alone.



When people post things and others reply with "who cares?" I don't think there's any mistaking the tone.

Also, when people post common themed topics, some regulars seem to just go nuts telling them "we already talked about this so many times" or "this is old news" or whatever. Yeah, that's the nature of online community. We already know the search function here stinks so why would we expect new people to be able to use it to find all the threads that mention what they want to know?

Just seems to me lately that there are folks who want to be argumentative instead of helpful.


 
CommaHolly
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In response to whateveriwant

I agree that people could be more patient sometimes,,,,,but since I have no idea what thread that quote came off, it's really hard for me to comment.


 
whateveriwant
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whateveriwant
In response to CommaHolly

It's now called "nevermind" and on the 2nd page.


 
CommaHolly
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In response to whateveriwant

I think most people try to be nice. I'd ignore the ones you feel aren't nice.


 
Bxr-Linda
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In response to CommaHolly

I think sometimes the "this has been discussed a million times before" comment is more to let the poster know that perhaps they won't get any/many responses.

After I've answered the same question several times, it becomes easier to just point to a prior thread on the topic.

The other approach would be to simply ignore and not respond AT ALL to those repeat questions.

You know, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That's helpful.


 
whateveriwant
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In response to Bxr-Linda

The thing is, some of them aren't really repeat questions. They are just slightly similar and once people see those "buzz words" they shut them down with "everyone's tired of talking about this" and expect it to be done with.

I don't know, I just think there has been an especially trolly/edgy vibe lately that started with the long thread (about ground zero) that got mopped. Seems like it goes in cycles and we're in one.


 
m.perk
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In response to whateveriwant

I wish there was a like button on some of these comments......maybe a good way to put it as well is it seems some people get very argumentative. I do believe it is very hard to read tone, but some of it is very distinguishable. And I agree about the newbies getting a short end of the stick. It doesnt seem fair all the time!


 
moxiegirl23
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In response to whateveriwant

  • whateveriwant Said:
The thing is, some of them aren't really repeat questions. They are just slightly similar and once people see those "buzz words" they shut them down with "everyone's tired of talking about this" and expect it to be done with.

I don't know, I just think there has been an especially trolly/edgy vibe lately that started with the long thread (about ground zero) that got mopped. Seems like it goes in cycles and we're in one.



I agree that there are certain buzz words that can set people off. I don't agree with there being a vibe of trollishness here. There was a lot of poorly chosen phrases in the thread that you are referencing that offended many different people for many different reasons discussing a topic that is incredibly sensitive for too many people. And as CommaHolly said, an internet forum conveys no tone of voice, no body language clues, just the words.


 
pugs223
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In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
I think we need to remember you can't read tone of voice online. It's allowable to disagree,,,,I also think it depends on what you mean by "hounded". If they are free to state their opinion, then I am free to disagree

if someone states that A is the best way to scrapbook, why is it permissable for them to state their opinion, but not for ME to state that I prefer method B??

I think sometimes, we read tone of voice into a post that isn't there Respect is important,,no doubt about it



What she said!

Reading tone is the biggest thing. I know I can interpret the same post different ways depending on the mood I'm in. Then take into consideration we don't know the mood of the other person PLUS most of us are strangers so we don't know if someone typically says something with sarcasm, an eyeroll or just a "you're a dummy" tone.


 
stick
stick 
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stick
  • stick on 08-30-12 10:58 AM
In response to pugs223

Holly's point about not being able to read tone online is so important. The written language is challenging for a lot of people. How we speak aloud does not always translate word for word into a written sentence or paragraph that has the same meaning and tone - especially when we employ slang, colloquialisms, and cultural and regional phrasing and understanding, both in our own writing and in our reading of other people's posts.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen people get majorly offended at something that I could only see was a total misinterpretation of tone and language.

Of course there are trolls, and meanies, and people who's panties are permanently wadded, and I'm sure each of us has our own moments at times, but most of the time people are at least civil.


 
pugs223
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In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
I think sometimes the "this has been discussed a million times before" comment is more to let the poster know that perhaps they won't get any/many responses.

After I've answered the same question several times, it becomes easier to just point to a prior thread on the topic.

The other approach would be to simply ignore and not respond AT ALL to those repeat questions.

You know, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That's helpful.



There is this incredibly kind poster who has been known to link several threads regarding a repeat topic.

Some have said that is incredibly rude, it's not answering the question, just posting links.

I found it helpful when I was new and didn't know how to search forum topics like I do now.

Sometimes, you can't win.


 
Tivi
Tivi 
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  • Tivi on 08-30-12 11:04 AM
In response to whateveriwant

  • whateveriwant Said:
  • CommaHolly Said:
I think we need to remember you can't read tone of voice online. It's allowable to disagree,,,,I also think it depends on what you mean by "hounded". If they are free to state their opinion, then I am free to disagree

if someone states that A is the best way to scrapbook, why is it permissable for them to state their opinion, but not for ME to state that I prefer method B??

I think sometimes, we read tone of voice into a post that isn't there Respect is important,,no doubt about it



I think this forum is increasingly hostile to newbies or people that post things that have been posted before. Like this recent comment for example:

  • Quote:
And who cares? Well, I guess the OP does, but I don't think anybody else cares about what "style" people scrap. There's just no purpose to it.

People here get super mad when talking about certain styles so I'd just leave it alone.



When people post things and others reply with "who cares?" I don't think there's any mistaking the tone.

Also, when people post common themed topics, some regulars seem to just go nuts telling them "we already talked about this so many times" or "this is old news" or whatever. Yeah, that's the nature of online community. We already know the search function here stinks so why would we expect new people to be able to use it to find all the threads that mention what they want to know?

Just seems to me lately that there are folks who want to be argumentative instead of helpful.



My first instinct was to ignore this thread - people have different opinions on everything, that's life.

Then, I read further.

Quoting posts out of context, quoting from a different thread, and not citing the member who posted it are all fuel for an arguement. At first glance, one could assume that CommaHolly posted that "who cares" remark.

If *you* thought the comment was rude, first report the post to Megan and her mop, second DON'T QUOTE IT IN ANOTHER THREAD.


 
mrsdriver5
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In response to pugs223

I agree that posting links to answer "repeat" questions is a great way to give a good answer. Some questions, like "how do you organize your paper" have been asked repeatedly, but if you're new to scrapping, it's a new question to you. How discouraging to be given a snippy answer, but it's also aggravating to type the same thing over and over in reply and eventually the answers get a little sparse.

Searching can sometimes give so many answers that don't really apply and again, for a newbie, it gets discouraging. It seems like we should be encouraging others to enjoy this hobby. Even the pros were newbies, asking "silly questions" at some point~Judy


 
Bxr-Linda
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Bxr-Linda
In response to mrsdriver5

Forgive me. I have a short attention span, and am easily distracted by shiny things. WHAT is this thread about, again??





 
Hey Jude
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Hey Jude
In response to mrsdriver5

  • mrsdriver5 Said:
I agree that posting links to answer "repeat" questions is a great way to give a good answer. Some questions, like "how do you organize your paper" have been asked repeatedly, but if you're new to scrapping, it's a new question to you. How discouraging to be given a snippy answer, but it's also aggravating to type the same thing over and over in reply and eventually the answers get a little sparse.

Searching can sometimes give so many answers that don't really apply and again, for a newbie, it gets discouraging. It seems like we should be encouraging others to enjoy this hobby. Even the pros were newbies, asking "silly questions" at some point~Judy



Right on!


 
pugs223
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In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
Forgive me. I have a short attention span, and am easily distracted by shiny things. WHAT is this thread about, again??







I think it's about how people get discouraged by others' bickering...which then started a discussion about tone, posting links, repetitive questions and.....SQUIRRELL!!!


 
m.perk
m.perk 
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m.perk
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
Forgive me. I have a short attention span, and am easily distracted by shiny things. WHAT is this thread about, again??







And if I am reading this tone correctly, which I think I am....EXACTLY!


 
moxiegirl23
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In response to m.perk

Please, don't encourage them. They've been snapping and chittering and chasing each other around the porch all day making quite the racket...oh, wait. it's a generic squirrel and not the two who hang out on my porch...

nevermind.


 
mrsdriver5
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In response to Bxr-Linda

I didn't forget what the original thread was, but like most threads, they tend to wander. As far as what the OP was referring to...I agree, but I've been chalking it up to hot weather and moms being more than ready to send the kids back to school. Don't get me wrong on that either...I loved having my kids home for the summer, but oh...that peace and quiet on their first day back to school...lol ~Judy


Edited by mrsdriver5 on 08-30-12 11:45 AM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
danigirl786
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danigirl786
In response to m.perk

So glad someone acknowledges that newbies are sometimes treated rudely/unfairly by long time members. I lurked on the boards here and at other scrapping sites for a while, which led me to stay on the sidelines rather than jump into the fray as I don't have any desire to participate in drama. Recently I decided not to let these types of exculsionary/rude behaviors keep me from discussing a hobby I love, and I began posting!! So far it's been ok, but I still see it going on with others. It's really discouraging to those of us that just want to join a community of scrappers to discuss our love of scrapping...


 
Doreena
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Doreena
In response to danigirl786

Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.


Edited by Doreena on 08-30-12 12:00 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
pamela.tx
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pamela.tx
In response to Doreena

  • Doreena Said:
Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.



I remember this forum topic. It did get out of hand because of someone's personal view.

.....and I did come to defend you too


Edited by pamela.tx on 08-30-12 12:09 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
Cindyckj
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In response to pamela.tx

We just need to remember that we all have different opinions and to no become snippy when we don't agree with opinions that aren't like ours.

That's very hard to do. But hopefully we all learn from it.

People don't realize that when they are mean they lose all credibility and anything good they may have had to say gets lost. Then they look bad and so does this place.

Wish I wasn't guilty of this but i'm human and do try my best to be nice .


Edited by Cindyckj on 08-30-12 12:18 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
Pouncedeleon
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Pouncedeleon
In response to m.perk

I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?


 
moxiegirl23
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In response to Pouncedeleon

  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.


Edited by moxiegirl23 on 08-30-12 12:27 PM. Reason for edit: Sorry Linda!!!!


 
pugs223
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In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that your wearing are washing you out.





 
pamela.tx
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pamela.tx
In response to moxiegirl23



 
Pouncedeleon
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Pouncedeleon
In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.


I'll have to work on that...I borrowed them from my husband...


 
Doreena
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Doreena
In response to pamela.tx

  • pamela.tx Said:
  • Doreena Said:
Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.



I remember this forum topic. It did get out of hand because of someone's personal view.

.....and I did come to defend you too




Yes I remember! And again I thank you!


Edited by Doreena on 08-30-12 12:28 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
scrappercaz
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scrappercaz
In response to pamela.tx

  • pamela.tx Said:
  • Doreena Said:
Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.



I remember this forum topic. It did get out of hand because of someone's personal view.

.....and I did come to defend you too




I realise I clearly don't come on here enough any more.....apart from the Ground Zero thread I've missed all this recent snarkiness.

I have seen a few blunt comments from time to time but I have also seen some folk get incredibly upset simply from differing opinions being voiced. Discussion is good, a respectfully worded disagreement is good for learning and for being shown another way of viewing a subject....and that can get heated sometimes naturally.

I don't like to see new folk snapped at though - what's obvious now to the regulars wasn't in the beginning and it's easy to forget that.



 
moxiegirl23
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In response to Pouncedeleon

  • Lunareclipse Said:
  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.


I'll have to work on that...I borrowed them from my husband...



Next time go plaid!


 
m.perk
m.perk 
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m.perk
In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am glad someone could say it!


 
Pouncedeleon
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Pouncedeleon
In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.


I'll have to work on that...I borrowed them from my husband...



Next time go plaid!



Plaid, isn't that what golfers wear?


 
pamela.tx
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pamela.tx
In response to Doreena

  • Doreena Said:
  • pamela.tx Said:
  • Doreena Said:
Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.



I remember this forum topic. It did get out of hand because of someone's personal view.

.....and I did come to defend you too




Yes I remember! And again I thank you!



You're very welcome I just love the smilies


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to Pouncedeleon

You are all so out of the loop and lame. Mis-matched is in. Wear one striped sock and one polka-dot sock with plaid shorts.

DUH!!!!!


 
pamela.tx
Guru
Posts: 2978
Joined: 02-23-12
pamela.tx
In response to scrappercaz

  • scrappercaz Said:
  • pamela.tx Said:
  • Doreena Said:
Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.



I remember this forum topic. It did get out of hand because of someone's personal view.

.....and I did come to defend you too




I realise I clearly don't come on here enough any more.....apart from the Ground Zero thread I've missed all this recent snarkiness.

I have seen a few blunt comments from time to time but I have also seen some folk get incredibly upset simply from differing opinions being voiced. Discussion is good, a respectfully worded disagreement is good for learning and for being shown another way of viewing a subject....and that can get heated sometimes naturally.

I don't like to see new folk snapped at though - what's obvious now to the regulars wasn't in the beginning and it's easy to forget that.





I do remember the Ground Zero topic. It did get expanded quickly. I steered clear away from that topic.

BTW, I love your signature about immaculate homes.


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to pugs223

Ooops, I forgot the LOL


 
pamela.tx
Guru
Posts: 2978
Joined: 02-23-12
pamela.tx
In response to pugs223

  • pugs223 Said:
You are all so out of the loop and lame. Mis-matched is in. Wear one striped sock and one polka-dot sock with plaid shorts.

DUH!!!!!



That's what my kids do (No Joke)

....and they have to be neon colored too


Edited by pamela.tx on 08-30-12 12:42 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to pamela.tx

I know, I see the mis-matched sock thing is in. I don't think I could get away with it at work though. It would make laundry so much easier though.


 
Pouncedeleon
Veteran
Posts: 666
Joined: 08-20-12
Pouncedeleon
In response to pugs223

  • pugs223 Said:
You are all so out of the loop and lame. Mis-matched is in. Wear one striped sock and one polka-dot sock with plaid shorts.

DUH!!!!!


I could just run around with just one sock.


 
Pouncedeleon
Veteran
Posts: 666
Joined: 08-20-12
Pouncedeleon
In response to pamela.tx

  • pamela.tx Said:
  • pugs223 Said:
You are all so out of the loop and lame. Mis-matched is in. Wear one striped sock and one polka-dot sock with plaid shorts.

DUH!!!!!



That's what my kids do (No Joke)

....and they have to be neon colored too


My 4 year old does this too! She refuses to wear matching socks. She says they aren't that colorful. I tell her she wants to be careful with the wacky clothes or she'll turn into a clown.


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to Pouncedeleon

  • Lunareclipse Said:
  • pugs223 Said:
You are all so out of the loop and lame. Mis-matched is in. Wear one striped sock and one polka-dot sock with plaid shorts.

DUH!!!!!


I could just run around with just one sock.



Wouldn't that be as silly as putting only 1 picture on a LO?

(disclaimer: just bringing it around again friends. Although not my style, I think 1 pic LOs are gorgeous)


 
scrappercaz
Governor
Posts: 24540
Joined: 01-25-07
scrappercaz
In response to pamela.tx

  • pamela.tx Said:
  • scrappercaz Said:
  • pamela.tx Said:
  • Doreena Said:
Maybe this is too "new generation" (for lack of a better term), but personally if I am making a joke I always put "LOL" or "JK" or a winky face or something to indicate I'm just being silly.

Although I recently put "LOL" after a joke I made about not telling my hubby how much I spend on scrapbook supplies and I still got harrassed.
Luckily only one person took it the wrong way, while everyone else in the thread knew I was JK and were even kind enuff to defend me.



I remember this forum topic. It did get out of hand because of someone's personal view.

.....and I did come to defend you too




I realise I clearly don't come on here enough any more.....apart from the Ground Zero thread I've missed all this recent snarkiness.

I have seen a few blunt comments from time to time but I have also seen some folk get incredibly upset simply from differing opinions being voiced. Discussion is good, a respectfully worded disagreement is good for learning and for being shown another way of viewing a subject....and that can get heated sometimes naturally.

I don't like to see new folk snapped at though - what's obvious now to the regulars wasn't in the beginning and it's easy to forget that.





I do remember the Ground Zero topic. It did get expanded quickly. I steered clear away from that topic.

BTW, I love your signature about immaculate homes.




Thank you



 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to scrappercaz

  • scrappercaz Said:


for being shown another way of viewing a subject....and that can get heated sometimes naturally.





I think we all need to remember that strong reactions don't always happen because someone is mean or looking to pick a fight. It's too easy to just call someone who has a strong reaction a troll or meanspirited around here because we're all just data in a computer somewhere. We're isolated from each other because this is a global site and we interact via the written word by computer. We think we know each other because we post in the same sub forums or the same threads, we don't really, not most of us anyway, because there's stuff we don't share here because it's not for public knowledge. Sometimes what seems like an attack is just traumatic pain that has been triggered by something that has been posted here.

I personally really don't find joking about hiding things from your spouse funny because I had a spouse hide things from me and it had horrible results on our marriage. It's a trigger point for me. There's been one or two times when I was really bothered by the hiding joke because a) someone didn't use emoticons which do help convey tone around here and b) despite explanations from several people, no one seemed to understand how it feels because they had no frame of reference for how the situation feels.


 
pamela.tx
Guru
Posts: 2978
Joined: 02-23-12
pamela.tx
In response to scrappercaz

I have a layout in the works with neon colors and animal prints....that should be interesting... for the kiddos

.....and I can't forget the mustaches too


 
Cindyckj
Pro
Posts: 1737
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Cindyckj
In response to scrappercaz

My 11 yr old son walks around the house with just 1 sock on. I don't get it. lmao


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to Pouncedeleon

[quote=Lunareclipse][quot e=moxiegirl23][quote=Luna reclipse][quote=moxiegirl 23][quote=Lunareclipse]I' m new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?
[/quote]

no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.
[/quote]
I'll have to work on that...I borrowed them from my husband...
[/quote]

Next time go plaid!

[/quote]
Plaid, isn't that what golfers wear?
[/quote]


Scots were plaid, too.


 
Doreena
Governor
Posts: 20963
Joined: 11-20-05
Doreena
In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • scrappercaz Said:


for being shown another way of viewing a subject....and that can get heated sometimes naturally.





I think we all need to remember that strong reactions don't always happen because someone is mean or looking to pick a fight. It's too easy to just call someone who has a strong reaction a troll or meanspirited around here because we're all just data in a computer somewhere. We're isolated from each other because this is a global site and we interact via the written word by computer. We think we know each other because we post in the same sub forums or the same threads, we don't really, not most of us anyway, because there's stuff we don't share here because it's not for public knowledge. Sometimes what seems like an attack is just traumatic pain that has been triggered by something that has been posted here.

I personally really don't find joking about hiding things from your spouse funny because I had a spouse hide things from me and it had horrible results on our marriage. It's a trigger point for me. There's been one or two times when I was really bothered by the hiding joke because a) someone didn't use emoticons which do help convey tone around here and b) despite explanations from several people, no one seemed to understand how it feels because they had no frame of reference for how the situation feels.




I don't hide things from my hubby either. The joke was that I was going to hide my purchase from my hubby... which I never and would never do, amongst other things. However, as I said, regardless of what my intent was it was all in jest and that's why I said LOL as in: everything I said prior to this "LOL" is all a joke.


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to Doreena

Doreen, I understand your intent, I saw the lol and because I knew you were joking but I didn't find it funny, I didn't stop to post. My point is that we get so worked up about being wrongly judged that we end up wrongly judging others in defense.


 
Cindyckj
Pro
Posts: 1737
Joined: 06-29-10
Cindyckj
In response to Doreena

I knew it was a joke and know you'd have had no way to know that people don't always think that's a joke.

When I had a hubby he hid his girlfriend from me so I spent and didn't tell. I have and awsome stash!

So from my past experience I see how you meant it as a joke but know the other side all to well as well.

My first instinct was it was a joke


 
MrsD2008
Veteran
Posts: 286
Joined: 08-28-11
MrsD2008
In response to Cindyckj

  • Cindyckj Said:
We just need to remember that we all have different opinions and to no become snippy when we don't agree with opinions that aren't like ours.

That's very hard to do. But hopefully we all learn from it.

People don't realize that when they are mean they lose all credibility and anything good they may have had to say gets lost. Then they look bad and so does this place.

Wish I wasn't guilty of this but i'm human and do try my best to be nice.



As I was reading this thread, I was like, hmmmmm...do I comment because I'm not sure if I should. I may be guilty! What comes to mind is the recent pinterest post where CommaHolly and I had a good discussion. It might have looked bad to others, but I wasn't offended in the least and I would hope she wasn't either.

I also think it is easy for a group of women (sorry to the men on this forum) to get snarky with each other. I see it happen whenever a group of women are bunched together, it's a phenomenon!

Like others have said, tone of voice and facial expressions and body language cannot be read.

I also think that sometimes there is an aspect of internet bullying in some places. I am NOT accusing anyone, but I have seen on forums where people say something that I'm not sure they would say out loud to someone face to face. If you can't say it to your grandmother/mother, don't say it to anyone, right? That's what my mother taught me!


 
mrsdriver5
Diva
Posts: 6833
Joined: 07-31-10
mrsdriver5
In response to Cindyckj

Liz & Cindyckj~

And that's what too often people don't do...walk away and let it go. There is no way we can say things that probably won't bring up "bad vibes" (OK...I'm dating myself :>) ) for someone, but that doesn't mean we have to always respond. As you said, it hit a bad spot for you, but you chose to not turn it into a battle. There have been a few threads lately that seemed like people were just trying to begin—or reignite—a fight. I reply to a lot of posts, but some...I know I need to just walk away. It's not worth the bad feelings...for others or for myself. If even lurking brings out my bad mood, I know to just leave the thread alone.~Judy


Edited by mrsdriver5 on 08-30-12 01:32 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to Doreena

  • Doreena Said:

However, as I said, regardless of what my intent was it was all in jest and that's why I said LOL as in: everything I said prior to this "LOL" is all a joke.




Oh! I get it now!

Like, if I say "with all due respect" beforehand, it's okay?

"With all due respect, you DO look fat in polka dots." That's okay?





 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to Bxr-Linda

"Don't take this the wrong way...." may have a better success rate.


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to pugs223

  • pugs223 Said:
"Don't take this the wrong way...." may have a better success rate.




ANOTHER awesome piece of advice right there! I love this place. Everyone is so helpful!


 
Cindyckj
Pro
Posts: 1737
Joined: 06-29-10
Cindyckj
In response to MrsD2008

  • MrsD2008 Said:
  • Cindyckj Said:
We just need to remember that we all have different opinions and to no become snippy when we don't agree with opinions that aren't like ours.

That's very hard to do. But hopefully we all learn from it.

People don't realize that when they are mean they lose all credibility and anything good they may have had to say gets lost. Then they look bad and so does this place.

Wish I wasn't guilty of this but i'm human and do try my best to be nice.



As I was reading this thread, I was like, hmmmmm...do I comment because I'm not sure if I should. I may be guilty! What comes to mind is the recent pinterest post where CommaHolly and I had a good discussion. It might have looked bad to others, but I wasn't offended in the least and I would hope she wasn't either.

I also think it is easy for a group of women (sorry to the men on this forum) to get snarky with each other. I see it happen whenever a group of women are bunched together, it's a phenomenon!

Like others have said, tone of voice and facial expressions and body language cannot be read.

I also think that sometimes there is an aspect of internet bullying in some places. I am NOT accusing anyone, but I have seen on forums where people say something that I'm not sure they would say out loud to someone face to face. If you can't say it to your grandmother/mother, don't say it to anyone, right? That's what my mother taught me!




This is the perfect instance that leaves me wondering. Was I snippy on that post with my suggestions? I wasn't trying too and hope nobody took it that way.

Sometimes no matter how you say something or what precautions you take to let people know you don't mean anything bad or that it was a joke it can be taken anyway a reader wants.


 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to Bxr-Linda

You're welcome!


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to pugs223

  • pugs223 Said:
You're welcome!




Now, what's your favorite adhesive? And how do you store your patterned paper?




 
pugs223
Idol
Posts: 3952
Joined: 06-24-10
pugs223
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • pugs223 Said:
You're welcome!




Now, what's your favorite adhesive? And how do you store your patterned paper?






There's a "how to search the forum" topic somewhere in the archives. I bet if you figured out how to use the "search" feature, you'd find about 100 threads on each of those topics. I don't have time to find the threads for you and those topics have been discussed many, many times.


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to pugs223

  • pugs223 Said:
  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • pugs223 Said:
You're welcome!




Now, what's your favorite adhesive? And how do you store your patterned paper?






There's a "how to search the forum" topic somewhere in the archives. I bet if you figured out how to use the "search" feature, you'd find about 100 threads on each of those topics. I don't have time to find the threads for you and those topics have been discussed many, many times.



Oh Peg... just refer her to Doctor Google!


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to pugs223

  • pugs223 Said:
  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • pugs223 Said:
You're welcome!




Now, what's your favorite adhesive? And how do you store your patterned paper?






There's a "how to search the forum" topic somewhere in the archives. I bet if you figured out how to use the "search" feature, you'd find about 100 threads on each of those topics. I don't have time to find the threads for you and those topics have been discussed many, many times.






Although, I do appreciate your prompt response.


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • pugs223 Said:
  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • pugs223 Said:
You're welcome!




Now, what's your favorite adhesive? And how do you store your patterned paper?






There's a "how to search the forum" topic somewhere in the archives. I bet if you figured out how to use the "search" feature, you'd find about 100 threads on each of those topics. I don't have time to find the threads for you and those topics have been discussed many, many times.



Oh Peg... just refer her to Doctor Google!





Oooh ooooohh... I think I've heard of that guy. Is he the chiropractor who recommends weight loss programs???





 
stick
stick 
Mayor
Posts: 13391
Joined: 05-01-09
stick
  • stick on 08-30-12 01:47 PM
In response to Bxr-Linda

LMGTFY

And btw, plaid with neon polka dots on top would rock my world, I wish I had a skirt like that. Shut up, yes I'm being serious


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to stick

  • stick Said:
LMGTFY

And btw, plaid with neon polka dots on top would rock my world, I wish I had a skirt like that. Shut up, yes I'm being serious




I totally agree. I think that would be awesome.
But, I think it's a bit rude to tell me to shut up.






 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to Bxr-Linda

I'm not a huge neon fan... jewel tones on the other hand...


 
stick
stick 
Mayor
Posts: 13391
Joined: 05-01-09
stick
  • stick on 08-30-12 01:54 PM
In response to moxiegirl23

Haha, OOPS, emotional outburst I've been saying "shut up" a lot lately ... mostly to my husband who keeps laughing at me when I'm trying to hold something at the right distance in order to read it. (I do have an eye appointment soon, until then I have no choice.)

I think of jewel tones as deep neon. lol, guess who grew up during the 80's?


 
Pouncedeleon
Veteran
Posts: 666
Joined: 08-20-12
Pouncedeleon
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • pugs223 Said:
You're welcome!




Now, what's your favorite adhesive? And how do you store your patterned paper?





Dog slobber. It isn't my favorite adhesive, but it's the most abundant...


 
Gelidy Gelato
Diva
Posts: 7698
Joined: 07-05-07
Gelidy Gelato
In response to Pouncedeleon

  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.


 
Doreena
Governor
Posts: 20963
Joined: 11-20-05
Doreena
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • Doreena Said:

However, as I said, regardless of what my intent was it was all in jest and that's why I said LOL as in: everything I said prior to this "LOL" is all a joke.




Oh! I get it now!

Like, if I say "with all due respect" beforehand, it's okay?

"With all due respect, you DO look fat in polka dots." That's okay?








"Just because you say 'w/ all due respect' doesn't mean you can say whatever you want"

"It sure the Hell does!"

- as quoted from Telladega Nights


On a more serious note, yeah I can see that not being right. However, in my defense I wasn't making a comment about anyone elses business, it was about my business. In other words, the joke was about me and my hubby, it's not like I was saying something about another person or the fact that they do or don't keep secrets from their spouse. I would never go as far as to crticize someone else for their beliefs or the way the way they live their lives if it doesn't involve me. And that's what upset me. I was not insulting the harraser, I didn't even know she existed, but she came at me like I was this horrible person.
I apologize if it brings up bad memories for others but I just feel like if the joke is about me or my business then you don't have the right to attack me. Cuz i have every right to joke about myself and my family.
Not trying to argue, because of course we can agree to disagree, but I just didn't appeciate it in the least.


Edited by Doreena on 08-30-12 02:17 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to Gelidy Gelato

  • Gelidy Gelato Said:

I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, fundraisers, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.




Especially this!! It's not that I want to be mean and not share my info, but a lot of the research questions that GG mentioned are how I earn an income. It took a lot of trial and error, time and money for me to know what I know. It's beyond frustrating when someone asks for that kind of information because they don't want to go through all of the work yet they still want the benefit from that work. I'm a CM rep. I love talking about CM - between the products and being a consultant and I wish that everyone could have the opportunity to do what I do. It's just that I get compensated financially for developing a team of consultants, selling product, teaching classes and holding events. It's unfair to be expected to answer questions about being a consultant and everything it entails to someone who has already decided to join and be a member of someone else's team but doesn't want to bother their future upline with too many questions.


 
m.perk
m.perk 
Governor
Posts: 21707
Joined: 03-11-07
m.perk
In response to Gelidy Gelato

  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.




And I 100% agree with this. But, when did it become okay for people to be spoken to the way they are? Just because we all have a number saying how many times we have posted or we have a title doesnt mean one person is better than the other and I think some people do not seem to realize that. I understand the whole 'tone' situation, BUT, regarless of 'tone' some posts are down right b*tchy.....making the person feel stupid for voicing their opinion or asking their question. How is that fair? I wont name names or point fingers, but it is out there. Unfortunately a lot more than some may expect.


 
Resident
Posts: 219
Joined: 08-12-11
In response to Gelidy Gelato

  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to must_love_paper

  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.





Since this seems to be a prevailing opinion, let me throw out a hypothetical.

Person signs up, and immediately posts a question in the forum, which happened to have been discussed 3 times that week.

Rather than point out that it's been discussed (to death), NO ONE responds.

Is that better to be completely ignored, or pointed to the answer or how to search the forums?


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to must_love_paper

  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.



Honestly I'm trying to understand, but I'm afraid that words without body language or tone might come across as trying to prolong a fight...

Earlier, someone (and I'm too lazy to go back and see who and where) complained about how mean it is to post links for newbies and others as a way of answering their questions. The links are posted out of genuine kindness because the thread(s) that are linked are overflowing with the answers the poster is looking for, and in some instances are such a valuable resource that not only should they be stuck in a special subforum somewhere to be easily found but in many cases people here have bookmarked them so they can go back and reference it again and again. There are a few neighbors here who have a reputation for doing this because they want to help and this is the easiest and most efficient way of providing as much information as possible and they are attacked for not helping whoever but just posting links to all the previous help filled threads. They are called mean and asked why don't they just avoid the question if they can't be "helpful". Since when is helpful defined only as write an elaborate post that answers the question instead of linking to something that might be older but continues to answer the question perfectly? Why is being rude to these people Ok??



 
Resident
Posts: 219
Joined: 08-12-11
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.





Since this seems to be a prevailing opinion, let me throw out a hypothetical.

Person signs up, immediately posts a question in the forum, which happened to have been discussed 3 times that week.

Rather than point out that it's been discussed (to death), NO ONE responds.

Is that better to be completely ignored, or pointed to the answer or how to search the forums?





its not about the being ignored thing... pointing to a great thread is being helpful its when you get the people that go into reading it with the "I am doing the research again I dont want to be helpful" attitude that is crazy... its a forum a place to learn help ask question if you dont feel like sharing your information or as you said pointing someone in the right direction why be here?


 
moxiegirl23
Queen
Posts: 39427
Joined: 10-18-06
moxiegirl23
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • must_love_paper Said:


This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.





Since this seems to be a prevailing opinion, let me throw out a hypothetical.

Person signs up, and immediately posts a question in the forum, which happened to have been discussed 3 times that week.

Rather than point out that it's been discussed (to death), NO ONE responds.

Is that better to be completely ignored, or pointed to the answer or how to search the forums?




Especially when all four discussions are in the top 10 posts on the first page of the forum?


 
CommaHolly
Angel
Posts: 69512
Joined: 01-30-09
CommaHolly
In response to Bxr-Linda

  • Bxr-Linda Said:
  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.





Since this seems to be a prevailing opinion, let me throw out a hypothetical.

Person signs up, and immediately posts a question in the forum, which happened to have been discussed 3 times that week.

Rather than point out that it's been discussed (to death), NO ONE responds.

Is that better to be completely ignored, or pointed to the answer or how to search the forums?




this is a good point!


 
Cindyckj
Pro
Posts: 1737
Joined: 06-29-10
Cindyckj
In response to Bxr-Linda

The beauty of it is that we don't have to post to any topic we don't want to.

I can't really think of any reason to be snippy to someone when you can say it in a nice way.

Really does it take longer to be nice that it does to be grumpy? lol

I really it doesn't take long to tell someone where the search function is nicely or to tell them that the topic has been discussed many times recently and to maybe scroll through some pages or even to just nicely answer the question or to even let them know it's a touchy subject.

It doesn't take that long but time is precious and not everyone has the time. That's understandable but think back when you started and someone helped you wether it was in a store or here and if you have the time and want to help then do if not don't.

I hope that someone helps but don't see a reason to go out of my way to be mean rather than nice even when a subject has been done to death.


 
CommaHolly
Angel
Posts: 69512
Joined: 01-30-09
CommaHolly
In response to Cindyckj

Unfortunately, people here have been told they are mean for pointing out past threads. sometimes you just can't win.


 
Resident
Posts: 219
Joined: 08-12-11
In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
Unfortunately, people here have been told they are mean for pointing out past threads. sometimes you just can't win.




the past thread thing isnt what I would consider mean or rude. It is the whole "this has been asked 100 times I am not going to be used for research do it yourself thing" that is rude


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to CommaHolly

  • CommaHolly Said:
Unfortunately, people here have been told they are mean for pointing out past threads. sometimes you just can't win.






 
angie girl
Diva
Posts: 6827
Joined: 11-16-07
angie girl
In response to moxiegirl23

  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
  • moxiegirl23 Said:
  • Lunareclipse Said:
I'm new and I haven't felt verbally abused or left out. Not yet anyway. I must not have asked the wrong questions yet. I have a question, does this striped paper make my butt look fat?



no, it doesn't, but the polka dot ribbons that you're wearing are washing you out.


I'll have to work on that...I borrowed them from my husband...



Next time go plaid!





I personally think that argyle is the way to go.


 
leebla
leebla 
Queen
Posts: 41164
Joined: 11-24-05
leebla
In response to must_love_paper

  • must_love_paper Said:
  • Gelidy Gelato Said:
  • m.perk Said:
This is something that has been upsetting me for a while. It seems that when some topics are started in the general forum, the original poster or some of the individuals that reply are getting hounded for their thoughts or opinions. Like they are dead wrong for what they post. I used to visit the forum quiet regularly, but now I steer clear of them. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way, but I don't understand where everything changed over the last few years.


I'll throw out an idea… the membership have gotten more experienced, we have gotten more vocal, we will now step up and challenge a scrapbooking belief, we are more educated (example: we understand trademark laws better, know real facts about archival materials), we will debate different points of views.
And We won’t do the work for a newbie. Let them search the forums, gallery, superstore.
And can I just say, I am also tired of people using us for their own research for blogs, classes, crops, videos, retreats.
Does that all make us mean? I don't think so.

Do we bite someone’s head off because they ask a question? Yea, it happens sometimes. Especially if it involves using "found materials" in scrapbooking.
If you ask a question on a message board, ANY message board, you have to be ready for all sorts of answers...not just answers agreeing with your viewpoint. And you have to accept that your thread may veer off into other areas.





This thread is starting to make me giggle..

Your are tired of people using you to do their research yet at one point and time you were the newbie on the forum asking the questions and getting the information for someone else.

its really not about being mean its that whole thing your parents tried to teach you "treat others the way you want to be treated" if you do not want to be the person being "used" as information a forum really isn't the place for you. Because it is a place where people share what they know about certain things.

So either don't read the post, or when you do read it instead of being rude because you don't like providing the information to someone that someone once provided to you keep your fingers to yourself and zip it.




Yes, 41,000 posts ago, I was a newbie. And I came here to ask a question about my new Wishblade. And I was eternally grateful when a very nice, and very experienced scrapbooker, named Vivian, posted links pointing me to all kinds of information in a whole forum about Wishblades!

I personally stopped posting in the forums because while I was making a comment to a friend, even one I'd met in person, I had too many new people jumping in and telling me that I was "wrong" when it was in fact, someone I knew well and a subject I knew well and had a great deal of experience with.

so yes, tone is very important.

And if someone wants to start a topic asking if everyone is offended by the same thing they are, they should be willing to expect that not everyone will be offended, and not turn around and tell "everyone" they are wrong because they don't agree.


 
Gelidy Gelato
Diva
Posts: 7698
Joined: 07-05-07
Gelidy Gelato
In response to must_love_paper

  • must_love_paper Said:
  • CommaHolly Said:
Unfortunately, people here have been told they are mean for pointing out past threads. sometimes you just can't win.




the past thread thing isnt what I would consider mean or rude. It is the whole "this has been asked 100 times I am not going to be used for research do it yourself thing" that is rude


for the record, I have actually never said this to anyone and have only expressed that statement in this thread.
When I see these types of questions...Help me come up with blog ideas (for my blog that makes me money)...I don't respond. I in fact do zip it. Zip it good.


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to Gelidy Gelato

I'd like to just say that I enjoy a good debate and sharing of different ideas.

I don't want all the threads to be: "I like X for scrapbooking"
"I like X too."
"Oh, yeah. X is wonderful."

People who don't like X aren't going to comment, because that wouldn't be 'nice'.
How boring!


Some good, clean, intellectual debate is stimulating. I LIKE hearing other people's opinions, even if they differ from mine.


 
Gelidy Gelato
Diva
Posts: 7698
Joined: 07-05-07
Gelidy Gelato
In response to Bxr-Linda

Is it is time for yummy cake recipes yet?


 
Bxr-Linda
Mayor
Posts: 14615
Joined: 05-12-03
Bxr-Linda
In response to Bxr-Linda

Elizabeth, VERY good point. If someone posts here, in a PUBLIC forum, there WILL be people who disagree. If you can't tolerate that, then perhaps a forum is not the place for you?




 
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