Ok, friends, this layout is not gonna win any beauty contests but it is therapy for me and my intention was to convey my turmoil and to leave something for my daughter to possibly help her to understand me a little better someday. I have written a letter and attached it to the back of the layout. It reads as follows:
Dear Lord, With all my shortcomings in mind, I only pray for one thing and that is a double-extra helping of patience.
I want so much to have more patience with my little one. To enjoy each moment and every little thing she does - even the mischievious things. She deserves a patient, tolerant, content and happy mother that can repeat herself 438972384787209340 times if need be.
These days will be behind us soon and I so wish that when we both look back at them that it will be with a wistful smile along with a little tiny sigh of relief. I know you are just like any other 2 year old - learning and experimenting, stretching your wings and testing your mother to the very end. I know that this stage, too, shall pass.
Lord, I so want to teach her patience and tolerance. How can I do this if I cannot do this myself?
I've never been known to be patient. Perhaps I, myself, was spoiled as a child? If anything, I've been known for my quick temper - actually, ALL my "quick" emotions. Quick to laugh, quick to cry, quick to soothe, quick to love and yes, quick to be angry.
Little Sofia, you are the greatest gift to be bestowed upon me at this time in my life. You bring me so much joy and happiness. You cling to my clothes and hang on my arm. I know the day is fast approaching when you will be a totally self-sufficient individual and I know I will long for you to sit on my lap and sunggle with me.
I hope you can, someday, forgive your mother for this short-coming and know that she always loved you. Every moment, every second - unconditionally. Even when she was frustrated, irritated and upset. Even now when trying to write this, you are stuffing my lap with teddy bears and toys. So now, I will put away this notebook, get us ready and go to town to buy you an ice cream.
Lord, I hope you're listening today..."
*** If you read all this, I appreciate it. And I appreciate you looking. This is my public acknowledgement of one of my biggest failings and my prayer for improvement. ***
This layout is also for the ETG July Cardstock Only Challange