Ashton - my yearling colt - wrote his Mom a letter today. Here's what he had to say.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Hello from your boy Ashton. I am very sorry that I have not written in so many days, but I have been very busy being one of Miss Pat's pasture ornaments. It is hard work grazing and swishing flies and learning how to get a bath and figuring out whether or not the fence is going to bite me today or not.
The fence here is really just a very simple puzzle, Mom. Some days it bites me when I touch it and some days it does not. If I listen very closely, I can hear a click click click and that is how I know when I can crawl through it. When the fence clicks, it bites me. When I do not hear the click, the fence says, "come on across." I did that a bunch of times because I wanted to live with Uncle Buddy instead of Uncle Liberty. I always waited until night time to change my pasture, and in the morning, when Miss Pat found me in the wrong place, she would halter me and move me back. I am a pro at going through gates now, just so you know.
But she finally gave up trying to keep me in the wrong pasture, and she moved Java the Pest to live with Uncle Liberty and let me live with Uncle Buddy. After that, I quit crawling through the fence. But today, something bad happened that I don't understand. Maybe you can help me figure it out.
Mom, I have been being a VERY good boy. I promise. But I think this may have something to do with her catching me playing with my boy parts a few days ago. I did not notice her watching me. I've always been very careful to be private about this, but she finally caught me. I tried to look embarrassed, but she said, "well, I guess it's time, Little Man." I thought she was talking about it being time for dinner, and I said, "Yes it IS!"
In my old pasture - where Uncle Liberty and Java The Pest live, there is a round pasture that no horses are allowed into unless they go with Miss Pat and she makes them work. I have tried to get in there on my own, but the fence is VERY tall and it is not made of soft wire that I could crawl through. I finally decided that NO horse can get in there and gave up trying - mostly because I was afraid that if Miss Pat found me in there, she might get the idea that I want to work for a living instead of be a pasture ornament.
Well, I noticed the other day that Miss Pat was moving the round fence around and putting part of it inside the shed where the sun does not shine. I did not think too much about it at the time, but I think now that she has been PLANNING this terrible thing for a while.
TODAY, after I finished eating my breakfast, Miss Pat put my halter on and led me back to Uncle Liberty's pasture. And then...
Mom. She put me IN that place and then she shut the GATE on me. I saw that there is a metal pond full of cold water, so ....
Mom, I think she expects me to LIVE in here! She put some green hay in here too, but right now, I'm too busy trying to explain to her that she has made a terrible mistake. That if she will just let me OUT, I promise to be a good boy. I will not bother Java the Pest or play with my boy parts ANYmore if she will just LET ME OUT!
I tried calling to Uncle Liberty, and Uncle Buddy, and even to Java The Pest to come give me a hand figuring out how to get out of here, but they were all too busy being pasture ornaments and running and bucking and playing and eating grass and squealing at each other.
So I'll just have to pace this fence until I find a hole or until I see what this green hay is all about. Miss Pat calls it alfalfa, do you know alfalfa, Mom? Oh, and the bucket in this place is yellow now. I guess I don't have to worry about girly pink anymore.
When Miss Pat walked back to the house, she was singing a little song. I heard some of the words. It went like this...
Yo-ho-yo-ho, a stallion's life for me.
What do you think she means by that mom, and do you think she will ever let me out of here?