for the "regrets" challenge. i was reluctant to include this layout in my collection, but i realize that good or bad, my first marriage belongs in my history. i'm glad i didn't go the route of my now husband's ex-wife, who cut all of their pictures together in half.
Journaling: although there are many, many regrets in my life, the biggest one would have to be my first marriage. i was young (19), thought i knew all i needed to know, and went against my father's will. Only a few months into the marriage, i knew that it was a mistake. But, i had been brought up in a family that dealt stoically with bad times and heartaches, so i stuck it out. For thirteen years, i went back and forth with a man who was abusive, immature, and did not love me. i admit i was at fault for continuing the cycle of violence, for exposing my children to that type of behavior, for believing that i didn't deserve better. i regret wasting so much of my life with a man who would never love me or our children, who would never change. i debated whether i wanted to create a layout about this man, but i decided that good or bad, he contributed to the person i am today. i felt i could not leave out the impact he had on my life. these pictures were taken at our wedding reception. they are not painful to look at because they are pictures of people who look like they could have had a successful marriage. they are pictures of young people with their whole lives ahead of them. i cannot connect with them because those promises never came to realization. they are not me, and i am not them. the truth is so real and no pictures can convey what was taken from me. Years.