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the story about me i look at the picture and i just see the little girl. the picture is about me who i am but i couldn't remember the ages in the picture. only ages thati can rememeber is 12 years old. sad part of me b/c i can't rember that pictures. i wish i cokd rememeber what i was doing the picture. only things that i look at the picture that she is very inoncent child b/c she is deaf. i don't know if i knew that i m deaf that ages. there is so much puzzled such as frazzle memories. so much stories that i don't know as actually about me.. only story i can remember is 12 years old and knoew that i'm Deaf. my mom went to school to learn how to use sign lauanauge to commucation with me. my bio father dont accept me for being DEAF. in my expernice that people called me DEAF MUTE. because i can't hear and they just called they sthought deaf mute stands for retard. there is so much struggle in my life. i have been feel left out with my family .b/c they dont act really want to commucation with me and they rely my mom to interpter wihle they saying. i really feel so alone b/c i thought they will learn sign lanauange to commucation with me but only my mom know how to do. my bio father still not learn to sign lanuage and my step dad= adopted write the paper or wait for my mom to tell me. i feel that i'm third weel in the family. i wish that my family will learn to commucation with me but they still not. my mom still remember how to use sign launauge. she never forget that. it is hard for me to accept why they don't learn sign lanauage to commucation with me but i just cant undo the past.
mt step dad-adopted dad have three kids . i actually live with them but not raised with them. they don;t talk to me either. me and my step sisiter been arugging so much b/c she been on drugs and had trouble with school. i watched my step dad- adopted throw her clothes on the street and change the locks. my step brother is worst than my step sisiter he been using drugs also and got trouble with school and trouble with law. my step dad got his bikes and he got ax and broke the bike and so much stuff i watch him doing to his kids. . i remember how much my step dad really very strict with his kids and me too.
my step dad grounded me for two month b/c i got preg while i was in the school and my mom made me to get abortion. me and my mom got real bad start with commucations b/c she is over protect me too much and won't let me go out with anyone. b/c of my steps dad rules...
one thing that i never told my mom that my step brother done terrible to me i rather not say this time.
i felt soo alone and don;t know why my family not learn sign lauange to commucation with me. one thing i really impressed with my mom and she even give up with school and had to work three jobs to support me and she had to take care of me b/c my bio father alway went to the bar and got DRUNK everyday.
i wish wish i could remember about my childhood but never will... there is so much hurtful memories in my shoulder and still don't understand why i can't remember. so i will still do this journey of my life and hope my pain be better and open up to myself more..
journey will keep going...
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November 19, 2009
November 19, 2009