Journaling hidden inside the pictures reads: I was over a week late but my periods were never regular and I had what I thought was PMS so I did not take a test because I did not want to have to see a negative sign. Then, I flew home to Nebraska to celebrate Labor Day with my family and I got sick on the airplane. I had never gotten sick on a flight before and knew something was up, so I decided to take the test the next morning in Aunt Sally's bathroom. I was shocked when it quickly turned positive! I was so excited but was not sure what to do. I did not want to tell Daddy over the phone but at the same time I did not think I could wait a week until I got back to tell him. I called him and of course, the one time when I really want him to answer his phone, he does not! So I called Nadia wondering if she knew where Terry was…he was on his way to a gig. She could tell I was really excited and knew I had really wanted to be pregnant so was able to guess what was going on. I quickly hung up and called daddy again, this time I got an answer. On the phone I could not tell how excited he was, but I am told that he walked around the rest of the day with a huge grin on his face and told Bruce Mansfield he was going to be a daddy. Because I was already in Nebraska, I decided that even though it was really early, I had to tell my family! I knew my approximant due date would be early May, which was my parents birthdays, so I bought them birthday cards and wrote a little message inside from you, asking if they would share their birthday with you? They were very excited that they would get to visit a new grandbaby next year for their birthdays! Later that weekend we had a family picnic at Dawn's and I told the rest of the family. It was going to be a big baby year for the Standerford family-Jessica was due any day and Matt and Vanessa, Phil and Becky, and Brandi and Keith were all expecting babies in February! While home I also told Aunt Cassie, Sally and Shawn, and Kim and Kevin…everyone was VERY EXCITED! When I got back to San Diego, Daddy was very excited and even greeted my stomach at the airport. I told Kristine and Gregg and a few weeks later learned they were expecting a baby as well. Our due dates were only days apart! There must have been something fertile in the water around there in the month of August. We went to our first doctor's appointment and ran into people from Terry's work who were also expecting and word of our pregnancy spread quickly throughout the band. Everyone knew how much I wanted a baby but they were all a little worried about how your daddy would handle parenthood! At our first appointment the ultrasound showed I was approximately six weeks along which put my due date as April 28, my half birthday. They also saw something puzzling, which at first they thought could be a second baby. After a second ultrasound at Balboa it was confirmed that although they were not fully sure of what it was, it definitely was not a viable baby and by the next ultrasound it had dissolved. The doctor said it could have been an extra egg that did not get fertilized, an embryo that did not survive, or just a mass or tissue. Soon the morning sickness set in and pregnancy showed its evil face! The first trimester I was not able to keep much of anything down. At one point I got so weak and dehydrated that they gave me IV fluids and phenergan to curb the nausea. It helped a lot but I still lost twelve pounds during the first trimester. The only food that regularly sounded good was mashed potatoes NO GRAVY from Kentucky Fried Chicken and Seven Layer Burritos from Taco Bell. I kept saltine crackers by my bed because sometimes if I ate right as I woke up, I would not feel as sick. I was pretty miserable but I kept telling myself that it would all be worth it in the end when I was holding my baby.
December 1, 2005 we went to the ultrasound to find out if you were a boy or a girl. I was pretty sure it was a girl but daddy was still holding out for a boy. You were not very eager to be photographed and kept hiding behind my bellybutton which created a shadow, but finally we got a decent picture. You appeared to be a very healthy baby GIRL! It was hard to get a full body picture because you refused to sit still, your little arms were waving hello and your legs were kicking to the beat. It was a good thing you were a girl too, because we only agreed on a girl's name…Kadence Mae. Daddy preferred Ackley but I refused to torture you with the name Ackley Eklund. We later learned that Ockey is a family name so you could have been Ackley Ockey Eklund! Sounds like a cat hacking up a hairball doesn't it! If you had been a boy I wanted to name you either Davis or Orin with the middle name William after your grandpa, but Daddy preferred Barnacle! We could call you Barnacle William and nickname you Barnacle Bill. Aren't you glad you were a girl! The second trimester was much better than the first. The nausea was much less, if at all, and my appetite returned. In fact, I liked food so much I asked for it in my sleep. Two common requests were brisket and strawberry ice cream. Often daddy would surprise me with these treats when he came home from work, what a great guy! One night I kept chanting donuts wrapped in bacon so we decided to try it. That was one thing I never ate again…GROSS! Because I was pregnant we decided not to go home this year for Christmas, so instead we took a trip to Julian and Big Bear to celebrate our first anniversary (December 19) and the holidays. We stayed at the Bed and Breakfast where Daddy proposed. The owners were even nice enough to turn the hot tub down lower so that I could sit in it without cooking you. I loved the romantic get-away but Julian is located in the mountains of California and you did not like the winding roads to come and go from there. We had a delicious breakfast at Eaglesnest but I was not able to keep it down on our drive down the mountain. Heading into Big Bear we got to see snow, which definitely made it feel more like Christmas! It was nice to get away and celebrate one last time as a couple before you arrived. As the weeks go on, there are many changes. The biggest one being the size of my belly! I had been waiting to look pregnant and not just fat and now the time has come. I am wearing maternity clothes now…or just daddy's oversized shorts and t-shirts. There is definitely life growing in there and I can feel it! You are a very strong kicker and as you get bigger I feel the kicks more and more often. I try to get daddy to feel but he claims it is just gas or that I am imagining things. In January Grandma and Grandpa came out to visit. They purchased their tickets to come out right before I found out I was pregnant so now they have to come back in a few months. They were able to come to my appointment and hear your little heart beat. I tried to let them feel you, but you did not cooperate at all. As soon as grandma would put her hand on my stomach, you would freeze. You little tease! While they were here we all went to see the stage show “Lion King”. You really seemed to like it and danced in my stomach through the whole thing! Grandma and Grandpa headed back to Nebraska, because Phil and Becky are expecting a little boy any time now. How lucky are Grandma and Grandpa to get a grandson and a granddaughter both in the same year!
Well, I have made it to the third trimester and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We have all the stuff ready whenever you decide to make your appearance! The crib is put together, the changing table is stocked with diapers and clothes, and the rocking chair is ready for late night feedings. We did your nursery in a frog theme-mommy loves frogs, as long as they are fake, real ones freak her out! I love picking out cute little outfits, although it seems like everything is PINK! I look in your closet and it looks like a piece of bubble gum exploded. I am really starting to get big, probably because I eat too much sugar. I really crave gummy bears and Lucky Charms cereal! My feet are swollen and I had to buy bigger shoes. No matter how much cocoa butter I smear on my stomach, I still have stretch marks. I guess they are tattoos of love to remind me of you! I feel you moving all the time, squirming and kicking. Your most active time is 3 am. I swear you take kickboxing classes in there! I have found that if I put the ear bud to headphones in my belly button and play music that you will calm down so that I can get some sleep. Your favorite CD is Celine Dion “Miracle”. You still do not like anyone but mommy and daddy to feel you kick though. They only get a chance if you hiccup, which you do often.
Jenn Burket and Debbie Beard threw us a baby shower with people from the band. Debbie is a fabulous baker and made cake rolls that looked like logs for the frogs to sit on. She also made poker cookies, Daddy's favorite. We played fun games and got some great stuff off our registry. At 36 weeks I went in for my check and was 2 centimeters dilated and you had dropped into position. The midwife said you would probably come anytime. I have lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, especially at night. Daddy was being taken off many out of town gigs at work in case you decide to make an appearance. We are all here waiting for you…but you still aren't here! At 38 weeks I went in and my blood pressure was up, my feet were also VERY swollen and they were worried about pre-eclampsia so I had to pea in a bucket for a day in order to analyze the amount of protein in my urine. Everything seems fine though, thank goodness! Just to be safe though, they recommend I rest and stay off my feet, so I am no longer working. It is okay though, because Kristine is ready to pop any day now as well. I find myself really wanting to clean and organize. I have washed and rewashed your wardrobe many times and often just sit and refold your clothes. It is really hard to get comfortable and sleep at night so I often get up and clean. Daddy thinks it is strange when he gets up in the night to find me scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. Kim and Kevin Dusek came to California for a visit. They are to be your godparents and I thought it would work out great if they got to be here for your birth. However, you had other ideas. You were not coming out until you were good and ready! We climbed the stairs at the Midway and walked all over the Padres' baseball stadium in attempt to coax you out, but you were content in there. It wasn't until April 26th at 11 o'clock in the morning , just one day before my due date, that you decided it would be okay to come out. Daddy had come home from work for lunch, something he rarely did and my water broke in the kitchen. Finally…the long wait was over and you were ready to make an appearance. Daddy was excited, not only to meet you, but because he would get out of the PT test at work that afternoon. It took some coaxing with petocin to convince you to come out, but twenty-four hours later on April 27, 2006 at 11:20 am you came into the world.