America is a deck of cards.Some are red, and some are black.Some are Queens and Kings and some are sixes and sevens. That is what makes up America
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here. [Actually the 1st part is a misquotation from Star Trek. The 2nd part was an add-on by some clever person for t-shirts, fridge magnets, etc.]
God loves material things. He made them!
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: "Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel."
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going 2 get?? but just grab something..if you don't like it, or it doesn't like you..spit it out!!
NBC - no body cares.
Pathetic Earthlings! Who can save you now?
Revenge is a dish best served cold....
Ronald Lynch: The question was "Who wrote Hamlet?" You wrote "The Pope's cousin, Count Pope-ula, a magical monster with pencils for arms".
Brendon: I'll be honest, Mr. Lynch. I made that one up.
“"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it.
It's just that something happened to it along the way."”