Scrapbooking and Divorce

I tried scrapbooking about 10 years ago, about the same time my 13-year marriage went from sad to miserable. I got five or six layouts done and then I started working on pics from the only vacation we ever took as a family. There wasn't a single photo of me. It reminded me of how I felt in my marriage -- used, alone and forgotten.

I set aside my scrap goodies, filed for divorce and moved on with my life. The first year I spent a lot of time crying, mourning the marriage I should have had and cursing the marriage I left behind. I've spent the rest of the time enjoying my freedom and trying to keep my head of above water, financially-speaking.

Now, about 9 years later, I am trying to put together a scrapbook for each of my now-adult sons. I am past the hurt and the anger. I want to include pics of their dad and me together, pics of our wedding, etc. The problem is not the pictures, but the journaling and titles.

Writing something like "True Love" or "Happily Ever After" doesn't seem fitting when the pages are done post-divorce. Then again, I don't want them to say, "What's love got to do with it," or "Setting myself up for failure." I want these layouts to be mementos of my children's life and heritage. I want them to be positive and hold good memories.

Any hints, tips or suggestions?

First off heres a hug , going through that kind of stuff is sooo hard and totally sucks! As to the titles how about New Beginings, A day to remember, Happy Day... things like that.

Aww! Sometimes things don´t work out tha way you thought, that´s life!" I´m glad you´re enjoying life now!

Amandas suggestions are great, and add some info like what dates and places the pics were taken. That´s one thing I´d like to know of my parents weddingday, they divorced 20 years ago. And their vacations and so on....
Hope this helps!

On your wedding day especially I am sure you were very happy. I would use headings appropriate for the pages, you could add hidden journaling or include a journal page for your children to explain that you were happy at some times. My mom hasn't really scrapped backwards for me, my dad died after they divorced so I don't know how she really feels other than I know how unhappy she was. I would still love to have the pictures scrapped.

SIince it is mainly for your children, why title it if its difficult for you? If you feel the need, you could just call it what it is to them, your mom and dads wedding or something like. Good for you making them books and including this, I'm sure they will appreciate it!

I'd just use obvious titles, like "Our Wedding Day" or if you are doing the books from your sons' perspective, "Mom and Dad's wedding."

I am sure your sons have happy memories because their perspective was not the same as yours. After all, they were kids. So maybe do like Dana said, add some journaling that pertains to them and their happy memories. For instance, on your wedding day photos, you could add journaling about your plans as a married couple, such as having them, where you wanted to raise them, what your dreams were for them, etc. HTH.

I'd keep it simple, like "Our Wedding Day" or "On This Day".

I agree... keeping it simple like "Our Wedding" and the date would be a good way to go.

I like the "mom and dad's wedding" or journaling such as "you with dad" etc. Keep it from the kids perspective. I have albums that I have scrapped from 1998. I divorced in 2003 and remarried I still have the pics from our marriage and the family we had together (his kdis, my kids etc our child). I can't tear the books completely apart, however I did take out some of the special pictures of his kids and ones I thought he would want and covered up the spots with cardstock, stickers or journal boxes. It was tough, but those albums also represent a part of my life with him and we did have some good memories together. We are good friends though so it might be dependent on yoru relationship with your ex.

I like the "mom and dad's wedding" or journaling such as "you with dad" etc. Keep it from the kids perspective. I have albums that I have scrapped from 1998. I divorced in 2003 and remarried I still have the pics from our marriage and the family we had together (his kdis, my kids etc our child). I can't tear the books completely apart, however I did take out some of the special pictures of his kids and ones I thought he would want and covered up the spots with cardstock, stickers or journal boxes. It was tough, but those albums also represent a part of my life with him and we did have some good memories together. We are good friends though so it might be dependent on yoru relationship with your ex.

• melissa_1959 Said:

to you .. and kudos to you for making the books for your sons' sake... since they are for them, maybe you can use their point of view.. I like the previous posters suggestions like: "mom and dad's wedding" or something factual like "summer vacation", "memories", "family time".

It is a wonderful thing that you're doing, and I know your sons will appreciate your efforts... but if there's a particular LO that's too difficult to do, maybe you can just do it w/o any journaling or even title... or leave some space for your sons to fill in. That way, you don't have to relive the hurt, and your sons can fill in what they remember from it.....

Well, you could not do any journaling or titles... you could just let the photos speak the story. Just add dates, places....

I had the same thing --> much luck and happiness to you :>) It was the BEST thing that EVER happened to me.

xox Laura

I agree that you should keep it from your boys' perspective. The books are for them. I'd also keep the info basic with "who", "what", "when", "where", and "why". I think I'd also try to focus on your children's memories of events not yours.

What ever you do I know your boys will appreciate it and maybe even more so as they are now adults and have some experience with relationships. {hugs} to you.

Hey Melissa!!

I agree with all the posts above. Keep it from your sons' point of views. And try to remember the good times and journal about that. for example on your wedding day, maybe focus on funny/good things that you remember - Uncle Larry with two different colored socks, Aunt Mary with ridiculous hat - things like that... also, remember that all marriages start with Hope, and maybe journal about that. that way you are still honest about your experience but not negative...

Hugs to you!!
Nancy

From someone else who's scrapping backwards - thanks for the great tips!

A few years ago I made a scrapbook for my step-daughter of my husband and her mom and their time together. It started with pictures of their first date all up until right before they split up..It was very difficult for me to scrap wedding pics of my husband marrying someone else...But I just kept in mind it was for Tasha, and it helped some that we are all really good friends. It was still weird though.

I titled most of the pages according to the event, and I did some hidden journaling to let her know no matter what has happened, they did love each other very much at that point in their lives and they will always love her.

She was so happy when she got that book, it by far surpassed the cell phone and I-pod she got for Christmas she said. And Michele (the ex wife) loved it also.

Good luck with the endeavor and just remember no matter how bad things got you both created beautiful children...

Hope this helps

Hugs

Kathy

Kathy- that was really awesome of you! I would NEVER be able to do that for my boyfriend's son.

Melissa, I second the suggestion of remembering funny or good things about the event. Keeping it lighthearted would be best for everyone, without being false about what happened.

Good luck!