What to do with no longer relevant scrapbooks?

This is a question that has made me curious, I had a scrapbook of me and a boyfriend, we broke up, and I just had it on the bookshelf for a while.

Then I started dating someone new and he found the scrapbook and he was not too pleased about it. When I met up with the ex to exchange/ return things I gave him the scrapbook (he gave me my tennis racket back) and I am pretty sure he threw our scrapbook out. Part of me is glad, Part of me is sad because I worked really hard on it and used some of my nicer papers and embellishments had nice stickers... but obviously I no longer have the choice in THAT scrapbook, but as we all know, not all relationships are guaranteed to last forever, what do we do with the photo, glue, paper reminders of memories gone by?

What are your thoughts and have you had any similar experiences?

I have a scrapbook of my ex and I, I placed it on my shelf with the others. I told my DH that I had it, it's part of the past and I am proud of some of the work I did in there. He was very understanding and said it was fine, he knows I love him very much.

Honestly, I have thrown scrapbooks away.. BUT now? Hecks no! I'd just put them on a shelf OR in a sbooking plastic tote and store them away in my attic or even in my basement... At the point at which I throw away anymore scrapbooks I have to realize that, that TOO was a part of my life, and to throw away my life like that? Nope!

So I'd just say store them away, where people can't find them, or only a place u know!

I don't have any like that from prior relationships, because I didn't start scrapping until my husband and I were together. I look at it the same way as a pp: that was a time in my life that created memories, taught me life lessons, and shaped who I am today. For that reason alone, I wouldn't get rid of it. Same reason I didn't throw out our wedding photos from my first marriage. I'd agree that you should just store it away in a closet or box, explain to the current BF that it's there and why, and move on.

I put some albums in storage with the hope that maybe one day I could reuse the materials.
Several of my vacation albums (with an ex) I felt I could continue to appreciate and look at if I just replaced a couple of the photos and took out a few of the pages. I could stomach the photos of us as a couple but the "lovey dovey" stuff will have to go.

Depending on your pages, you may be able to salvage them with a few minor alterations. There is also the “smiley face” idea. You stick smiley faces or “Prince Charming" stickers over the ex. You can even use George Clooney or Brad Pit's face... How about alien head stickers.

I think the hardest part is "emotionally" being able to revise the pages. Switching a few photos, journaling, and changing a title or two really isn't that hard and goes quickly but if it drags up a lot of bad memories then maybe it isn't worth it

My wedding album from my ex-husband is in a rubbermaid tote along with some other things of 'us'. I didn't throw it out b/c one day when I have my kids I can still show and tell them about my past, my history and 'life lessons'.

Luckily, my current boyfriend...who I see being my husband in the future has always been understanding and not bothered by my past marriage and all that jazz.

I have the same issue. I have a scrapbook, TONS of pictures, and letters from boot camp from my ex-boyfriend. I've been at a loss of what to do with them; my current boyfriend would freak if he knew I still had them, but it seems wrong to throw them away. They're stashed in my basement, and I think that's where they will stay for a good long time.

PS one more idea is "you call it what it is" the Ex-Boyfriend album. Then the intention is clear...this album is to have fun "looking back". If the album is all serious, you could add a few new goofy touches to lighten the mood.

I was Married for 5 years and had a baby girl with my ex-husband, my boyfriend knows that even though i have my ex on a million los he was a big part of my life. And now my boyfriend is the star of a bunch of los and he just knows i scrapbook people places and things that are important to me. But i could never get rid of the pages i made of my ex, it is all part of MY story, if you know what i mean.

I would never throw away anything like that. Put thm away by all means but you can't pretend a different part of yuor life didn't happen and things change...you never know what obscure reason may present itself in the future when you may want/need to refer to an old photo/letter/your onw journaled feelings or whathaveyou in an album.

I have an entire album with pictures from the only cruise I have ever been on....and it was with my ex. He was a total *BLEEP*, but, those are the only memories I have from that cruise. Therefore, I still have the album. It's in a box somewhere, but at least I know I have it.

those are your memories. Store them in a closet or under the bed. My wedding scrapbook (i'm now divorced) is in a closet with my wedding dress. It is for my memories and my DD memories.

If BF has a problem with it tell him you want to go through all his pix and personal stuff and get to choose what he has to throw out. I'm sure he'll change his mind

I only started scrapbooking when my husband and I were dating, before that I was in college and no time for scrapbooking. But I wouldn't throw them out if I were you. they are your memories and your photos......keeping them out of everyday view....probably not a bad idea, but I can't se throwing them out. I like the sticker idea!!!! Cute!!!! We all have a past, doesn't mean that we live in it!!!! I have photos of past boyfriends, I wouldn't throw them out. If nothing else, it is a lesson learned!!!

There is no way I would throw things like that out. As everyone has said, they are your past and your memories. I have several boxes of mementos/photo albums from ex-boyfriends/fiance. They are kept in our basement (I've been married for 13 years), clearly marked. I wouldn't get rid of those. I'm certainly not going to get rid of something like a scrapbook that I had invested time and money in.

On the other hand DH's policy had always been to get rid of every single trace of any woman he was with pretty much as soon as the relationship ended. Photos, gifts they had given him - anything that reminded him of them he would purge in order to help move on.

I understand his way of doing it, he understands and accepts mine.

Every now and then I will be talking about a place I had travelled to or a time in high school or college and will go down and dig out a photo to show DH. Although the photos I show him won't have any of the exes in them, he knows it comes from one of those boxes.

Because I had kids with the Ex, i still have the pics of our vacays together and him with the kids when they were little etc....I dont care to look at them, but they are safely stored downstairs in case the kids ever want them. I did the same with my wedding album. I sure as hell didnt want to see it again, but it has a lot of fam pics of loved ones no longer with us. Those are the pics I want to save.

I only just last year threw away all memorabilia from HS ex's and letters passed between ma and my BFF's! Time to move on, heck, I didnt even recognize some of the writers anymore! LOL!

I definitely wouldn't throw anything out. I have had a couple of pages that I replaced the photos on. But the rest are tucked away. DH knows they are there but he also realizes they represent a lot of invested time and money all he did was ask that they not be out in plain view. So I put them on a plastic box under the stairs.

I have a college scrapbook that includes lots of photos of my now-ex-fiance...I keep it around because they're the only photos I have of those years, but it really bothers my current boyfriend. I've since stashed the album where he won't see it everyday, but I don't think I could ever get rid of it...

I have not scrapped my years prior to meeting my now DH. We talked about the photos of my Ex's because I was torn on what to do with them - keep them or toss them. He told me that those times, people, places etc... were a part of me and what made me what I am today and I should keep them. He also said when I got around to scrapping those years, I should scrap the pictures because they are part of my story. He has seen the photos and he is good with it. I will note that I also do not pull out those pictures or have them on display where they are seen everyday and they never will be on display, so I think thats a huge part of it being ok.

i have pics/scrapbooks of my exes. if i threw that out, i also throw out 1/2 my high school experience, hundreds of outings with friends, etc. when i look at the pics, a small part of me says, "ew my ex". however, a bigger part says, "omg! prom night!" or "wow! that sure was a fun night playing mini golf with my friends". after my parents divorced years ago, i thought i would never see their wedding pics. when they were found again recently i was so grateful. i was even glad my mom kept pics and notes from her high school boyfriend, it let me see her how they saw her.

I put everything with photos of my ex-husband, including our wedding albums and anything of his that the kids may want one day, put them in a big Rubbermaid and took them to my mother's and they are at her house packed away for them someday.

That way, they are not in my house, I don't have to see them, and I don't have to feel like my husband has to live with his stuff.

The box can happily sit in her attic until my kids are ready for it some day.

I don't have many pictures of my ex boyfriends, but what I do have is something important like prom. I think I might have 1 or 2 of me & a bf hangning out/riding horses, and if I find them I will probably throw them away. My DH found them once, asked why I still had them, I said cuz I haven't had time to go through them-and it was the truth. I don't want the hang out pictures, but I do want the prom ones lol. I guess that was one good thing about marrying my HS sweetheart...I didn't have many boyfriends (to take pix) with so not many to worry about now rofl.

I also don't have any scrapbooks of previous relationships because I only started scrapping 3 years ago. But I do have old photo albums and I treat them like any other memorabilia: it was part of my life, so it's worth preserving. Everyone has a past, and most people have been with other people - that's not wrong. DH and I both respect that.

It sounds as if your current b/f might have some security issues. Unless YOU want to get rid of your memorabilia, for diplomacy's sake, a "forgotten" box in the basement might be a good place for that kind of thing until the relationship is more stable and trusting.

If you want to keep them because it was apart of your life, then you should. If you are 100% sure that you don't want them, then throw them out. I had a very painful breakup in high school (he cheated on me). I found throwing out all of our pictures out and any items that he had given me therapeutic. It helped me cope and I do not regret it one bit. I don't want a reminder of that period of my life.

I think it is part of your history & it is fine to just pack it away. I'm struggling with what to do with my 30+ scrapbooks of relevant material...I don't want to burden my daughter with heirloom guilt when my husband & I are gone and I sometimes feel like that is what these scrapbooks are.

• springhillsarah Said:

I definitely feel that. I'm the youngest of five and will ultimately end up with my mom's scrapbooks, and meanwhile I have a ton of scrapbooks of my own, and no kids at this time, so no one really to pass them on to.

this is not an issue for me personally (started dating dh when I was 17), but I think it depends on why the person is your ex ...

if there are horrible memories (of abuse, for example), I could see wanting to get rid of it

but otherwise, I'd probably just pack it way in the basement or attic

I don't have the problem of an album with an ex but what I have come across is when I've scrapbooked friends and family members with what are now exes and I feel bad when the new person in their life looks thru my books but they have to understand this was relevant at the time and I can't really cut them out of the picture if they're in the middle or on an already finished LO... I just apologize and tell them to turn the page quickly.

i start scraping way after my frist hd and I just did our wedding/dating page for the book of me. I looking at the book as a journy throw my live that includes everyone. I will add mine and second dh really soon then on to me and ross. /But each one played a important role in makeing me who i am to day. .

• aquabunny Said:

I totally understand this. Sometimes I wonder why I scrapbook because I don't have kids (and don't want any) and don't have any family that I'm close to other than my grandparents.

I know this has been touched on a little bit, so I will just put some emphasis on it, of course this is just my opinion so I hope I don't offend you or anyone here.

Not only was that book about your ex, but it was also about you.
You put a lot into the relationship as well as that book, which mean those memories are not just tied to your ex.
You should be able to have the book out to look back on and reflect on "what I did when I went with so-and-so" whether it's an ex-significant other, and ex-friend, and on and on.
Unless that book/album gives you emotional pain to look through or see on the shelf, then if so - sure, go ahead and pack it in a box for when you can look back on it.

Its all about how YOU feel, and your comfort zone.
I have some folks I don't associate with anymore and I have tons of pictures with them, but we had some wonderfully amazing time together - so I enjoy looking back at the pics and remembering the good times. I know not everyone can do that.
And it turn, I have some that give me heartache when I look at them. Those I have kept, but have packed away.
And I even have pics that permanently capture some of the not so bright ideas I've ever had, and although they're embarrassing I have scrapped them.

I guess my feelings on this comes from the experience that a while ago my storage had been broken into and with half of my stuff that was taken a huge box of photos and negatives and other memorabilia (that I was keeping "safe" until I could scrap it) disappeared too - so now I don't part with any photos or such.

I am not suggesting a conflict with your current guy, but its just something to think about...

Unless a person really purges every single item remotely associated with a past ex (insert name of relative/relationship), ex-friend, ex-coworker, even an ex-job…every new person is going to bump into your past.

I used to call it “ghosts of girlfriends past”. You look at certain items in a guy’s place and you just know he didn’t buy them himself (somebody gave it to him or left it behind).

Everybody is going to have a bar of what they can accept concerning their new person and their exs. I actually don’t think it is unreasonable that a guy doesn’t want to see a scrapbook “of an ex” prominently placed. To me it falls under the umbrella of framed photos of the ex on display, noone wants to see that! If the scrapbook really is about “the guy” then it would be a nice gesture to not prominetly display it. If the scrapbook is about your life, and a few pictures of the guy, then maybe you could walk the new guy through the book and concentrate on the other memories.

I like the plastic bin idea...just pack it away. Someday, these old pics will bring back memories. We have so much fun when at my mom's going through all the old pics and the stories that go with them. I wouldn't throw any of these things out.

• love4scrappin85 Said:

I totally agree!
Depending on how the book/binder is made...I've slid another page in front of the old one. I've removed pics but saved the page. And I've kept the whole book tucked away where no1 would ever look. Not to hold on to memories but to hold on to my work!

I gave my wedding album to my ex husband to my daughter...he wasn't her biological dad, but he raised her, and they had a very special relationship...he passed away last November...so I dug it out, and gave it to her, because, it means much more to her, then it does to anyone else, and she will cherish it forever.
I have another scrapbook from another wedding that I took some of the pages out, and sent them to the ex...the other pages I kept, because I made all the gown for the brides maids and flower girl, and my grandmother was there...she died a few months later, so it was important to keep those pics...but, the pics of his family, I sent to him....they didn't mean anything to me anymore. And it was better than throwing them out.

I feel like every experience in our lives helps to form and mold us into who we are now. Including the painful ones. I had to date the wrong ones to help me see how amazingly wonderful my husband is when we met. I'm 5 years behind in my scrapping so I still have unscrapped pictures of my last ex-bf before my husband. Will I still scrap them? Yes, I will, as a memory of that point in my life. Will I treat them differently with my current perspective of our relationship? Yes, I will. They'll be less mushy and more of a history, compared to how they would have turned out when we were dating.

It occurred to met that I actually have gotten rid of an old album, but it wasn't a relationship. In college, and just after, I did an album about songs by Simon and Garfunkel, my then-favorite band (also with pages about my collection and the concert I went to). Last year or so, I was looking back and really not liking most of the album, which dates from my days of post-bound albums without page protectors, where the patterned paper was adhered right to the album page. I salvaged one page and some elements from another, to incorporate into my "Filling In The Blanks" albums (albums for everyday stuff, things that don't call for a full album of their own, as opposed to travel or pets). That way the page still stays around as a marker of a thing I used to love, but is no longer a full album of sub-par pages and embarrassing journaling.

I wouldn't have given the book to the boyfriend I would have just put it away, i've even scrapped pictures of my dh's ex girlfriend with him on his graduation, that's part of his life. Of course her swimming suit pics made it to the garbage bin, but simple pictures are put away. Kids like to see that kind of stuff "who did you like before ......." Its okay to have a past and its okay to save a book that you worked so hard on, these books are not cheap to make and I'd love to be able to look back at my artistry one day. Next time just put the book up and away.

Even have scrapbooks of friends I am no longer a friends with, I pull the books out for the artistic talent and memory of the event not necessarily remembering the person within the pages. Keep your work!

I threw away every picture I ever had of my ex (I didn't scrap way back then). I only regret throwing out the pictures that included me--I should've cut them in half before ditching them.

My husband was married before we started dating. He wanted to throw the pictures out but I wanted him to keep them. He might want them in ten years. I don't have any reason to be jealous. I have pictures of my exes in my scrapbooks. They are part of a story of who I was becoming.

My father-in-law was visiting us last summer. My mother-in-law, his ex, is now married to her third husband. She has all her scrapbooks with pictures of him with the kids and pictures of his side of the family. The pictures are memories.

My husband has no reason to be jealous. He knows he has no reason to be jealous and therefore he isn't. You really shouldn't get rid of pictures or scrapbooks unless you honestly want to. I threw so many pictures away from high school just because I was young and immature and would get into petty fights with my friends. I really regret getting rid of those memories.

I'm not a scrapbooker per-say. However, in college I did have a little collage book I threw together that had a number of pages connected to an Ex. When we parted, it ended up sitting in a drawer for a couple of years. Once I graduated and moved in with my new boyfriend, I just threw it out. Maybe it's just part of my artist training, but I've always been of the mind that nothing you create is so sacred that you can't just throw it out. In a way, it can hinder your growth and progression if you hold onto old work "past it's prime".

I know that's half the joy of scrapbooking; but how it applies in this sense is that we shouldn't be afraid of getting rid of a physical creation if the memories attached to it are too painful, stressful, or what have you, even if we put a lot of work into creating it. Yes, scrapbooking is about preserving memories for years to come. But some things we might not necessarily want to remember.

The best thing to do in these situations is to take the scrapbook and store it away for a few years. After the initial pain of the break up or separation has subsided, take it out and look through it and make the decision to keep or toss. But don't do it right away; you might get rid of it on an impulse, only to make up with that person down the line and realize you wish you'd kept it.

But if you look at it years later and it still brings back negative emotions, you shouldn't feel bad about just throwing it away. Whatever hard work you put into creating it doesn't matter now, because you've grown and progressed since then as a creative person, and can make better books with better memories to fill that empty spot on the shelf.

I would never throw away an album. It's a part of your life that makes you who you are. If it had some sort of ex/etc. i would just put it away in a box.:O)

My old wedding album and a few things the kids might want, as well as old pictures of their dad and me is in a tub in my mother's house. Just in case my kids ever want them. If not, I told her to throw them away. I'm not in the least bit interested in seeing them again. Ever. I had them for years and they were just wasting my valuable space.

When I married Bill, every photo album with old boyfriends went in the garbage. It doesn't matter to me how important they were to me, they aren't anymore. I have my precious memories with my husband and the others just weren't worth keeping. Or to me they aren't.

I made mistakes, I got over them and I don't want or need to be reiminded of my ex-husband or old boyfiends or other bad choices I made. My focus is on the good stuff around me now.

So if my kids don't want the wedding albums for their dad and me, then they need to go to the curb.

And I do not want anything here with my husband and his ex. He doesn't either - its all been given to his daughter. We've both made mistakes and we've put them behind us.

Truth is, my kids say the marriage between me and their dad was a train wreck and they don't seem interested. They would rather have stuff with thier dad and his wife and with me and Bill - that is how they love us.

They said the old pictures of their dad and me are not realistic and they don't seem to like them.