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This layout was very dificult for me but I had wanted to do it for a while. Thanks for the push. The journaling is long!

Journaling reads
I am not a patient person. When I set a goal for myself I achieve it. I am not good at putting my wants and needs in the hands of others. When we realized the only way we would parent a child together was through adoption, I was excited, hopeful, and optimistic. We did all the mountains of paperwork, evaluations, jumped through all the hoops. We were told to be ready for &quot;the call&quot; at any time. We decorated our nursery. We bought all the pink clothes. We put our lives on hold. A year passed waiting for someone to contact us. I got really down. I closed the door to the nursery. I could not bear to see the room for the child I did not think I would ever have. There were nights I would go to the nursery and just sit and imagine how it would be when I held my daughter in my arms. I cried so many tears. It was so hard to hurt and long for a child when everything was beyond my control. I decided to start living in the moment and be happy for my family. I realized it was out of my hands. I knew there was a plan for us. I let go. We received three calls from potential birthmoms. We finally met Heather after 17 long months. That moment the waiting and sorrow melted away. I felt joy. I knew my daughter had found me.

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