Maybe Too Snarky
I thought these were a cute idea until I really read all of the "remarks". They are really a little too mean for my audience and I'm not sure what the occasion would be for some of them unless it's for someone you definitely don't care about having a relationship with.
But, if your friends are really thick skinned and can take this kind of abuse, then go for it. Some of them are really quite funny, but might be better as a verbal assault than a written one where the target can see whether you really mean it.