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This layout is how the song “Arms Wide Open” by Creed has meaning to me. It was inspired by the Meaningful song challenge hosted by Jill. This song portrays the meaning of pure heartbreak to utter happiness- the journey of motherhood for me. All three of my pregnancies were rough.
My first pregnancy was a hard one. It took us a long time to get pregnant. When we did I was sooooo excited. I started buying little baby stuff here & there, started picking out names, all that happy stuff, until I stared having problems, the ultrasound showed a heartbeat, but the dates were wrong, I kept thinking that it could not be right! So close to 3 months pregnant, I had started to bleed, my hubby was working so I called everyone in my family & no one was around, so I had to go to the hospital by myself. They did the ultrasound. I lost my baby. I sat there, just staring, not understanding…all alone. I didn’t cry, until my Mom called the hospital looking for me {she was out of town & got my message}. So, after a few hours, they kept me there, until THEY thought I was fine. I was not fine, but I had to make them think I was so they would let me drive home. I just wanted to go home and forget about it. On the way home, I can remember the song Arms Wide Open, It ran through my head, over and over….I lost it, I could hardly see driving. I just felt so empty. I lost my baby!
Getting pregnant with Reese was a very long journey. I had to be on fertility drugs it took well over a year and then the problems started. I was so nervous to begin with, then all the problems came; I went into preterm labor at 27 weeks. I was put on bed rest. I made it to almost 37 weeks. She was healthy. I thank God for that!
Funny thing is that every time I heard the song, I thought for sure it was bad luck & I was going to lose my baby.
My third pregnancy came as a surprise. I still had many problems with being pregnant with Cameron, but not near as many as I had with the other two. So weird thing about it all was on the way home from the hospital while bringing Cameron home, the song came on. I took a deep breath because I knew it was all ok this time and that my journey was complete. I am so thankful for what I have.
Thanks for spreading positivity!
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